'SH! THE OCTOPUS'.........THE SQUID STAYS IN THE PICTURE

Sh! The Octopus (1937)     Since we're all living in a world turned upside down and backwards, we thought it best to find a movie to match life as we know it today.......

                    Or to put it simply.......the most insane, batshit loony-toon movie we could think of.......

                     At a mere 54 minutes, old school Hollywood features don't come any shorter or crazier than this one.......

                      Imagine the board game "Clue" crossed with an Agatha Christie mystery crossed with a Marx Brothers movie crossed with "The Wizard Of Oz".........

                        Chaos rules gloriously through its brief running time......the script, such as it is, cobbled together from two plays. strands an assorted cast of characters in a deserted island lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm.......

                      (Even though the miniature shots show this lighthouse parked all by itself on a tiny patch of rock, the dozen or so actors pop in  as if there's a ferry running there every ten minutes....)

                      The plot, you ask?   So did we, all through the 54 minutes.......but by the time you get to the  outrageous surprise ending, it doesn't matter a damn anyway......

                      Two exasperated detectives (Allen Jenkins, Hugh Herbert), think everyone in the lighthouse is a suspicious character and we don't blame them........since they all regularly pull guns on each other......

                       And yes, one of them's a guy with a hook.....named....wait for it.....Captain Hook.

                       To make matters worse, they're being stalked by 'The Octopus', a master criminal......and just to confuse you further, a real octopus skulks around the lighthouse, always ready to put a tentacle squeeze on anyone who's not paying attention......

                        Woo-woo!

                        In case you're wondering, we didn't just go "Woo Woo!" randomly. That's the trademark sound made by comedian Hugh Herbert, usually accompanied by Herbert cupping his nervous fingers together.  In the film, he's anxious to return to his wife who's about to give birth...........and the mere idea of woo-woo Hugh procreating with a woman requires a lot of imagination from the audience........

                         The gag lines come at you with machine-gun pacing ("I've been working on this case for nine years"  "Any clues?"........the primitive 1937 special effects range from hilarious (those wobbly tentacles)  to astonishing (the criminal Octopus, not to be confused with the other one, pulls a wow transformation at the climax.....)

                         But wait! There's more!  Don't miss the bonkers 'Twilight Zone' twist, which another way, way, way more famous movie adopted several years later......

                         What more can we say?  How can anyone resist a movie where one actor yells, "Stick 'em up or I'll blow your brains out!" while pointing his gun at the other actor's stomach?   For a little less than hour, forget the madness going on outside your door.......and concentrate on the sheer madness of "Sh! The Octopus".......5 stars (*****) a FIND OF FINDS/