Saturday, May 30, 2020

C0RA THE VIRUS FACT CHECKS TRUMP TWEETS!

                                                                                                                                                                      

The Blob (1988)


 BQ:  Cora The Coronavirus.....as always, the sight of you makes us ill and sick to our very
soul......much like the sight of Trump on TV......

CORA:   Whine, whine, whine. Lighten up, humanoid......I've got a new gig!  Twitter just put me in charge of fact checking Baby Orange's tweets!

BQ:  No way.

CORA:  Yes, way!  Twitter couldn't keep up with the tsunami of bullshit he spews out every day, so they asked me to step in and help out. They figured, who would know his diseased mind better than an actual disease!

BQ:  Makes sense, we guess. So how does this work exactly?

CORA:   Here's some of his tweets I checked in the last hour........you can read my fact-checks in italics right underneath them....
.
 Donald J.Trump(@realDonaldTrump
 Everyone knows that 90 per cent of mail in ballots end up stolen by a 300 pound guy   living in his parents' basement......Get smart, America!  Stand in line, even if you've got  high fever and coughing up a lung. With any luck, Never-Trumpers will drop dead before they make into the voting booth...... (! Too much Hydroxy poured on his morning Froot Loops and Egg McMuffins)

 Donald J. Trump(@realDonaldTrump)
 Where was Joe Scarborough when JFK, RFK and MLK were shot down?  Many people are saying it's very suspicious. He's older than he looks......investigate!
  (!  Someone didn't have their Depends changed this morning......cranky, cranky)\      

 Donald J. Trump(@realDonaldTrump)
  Only 102,000 dead so far.......that's not so bad, is it?  You're welcome, America! Anyway, 
  most of them were those ancient nursing home farts who would've used those phony
   mail-in ballots to vote against me. Screw 'em.....
   (!  Voted man of the year by Psychopaths United.....3 years in a row)

 Donald J. Trump(@realDonaldTrump)
 Why haven't the National Guard sprayed napalm on the rioters?  Time to get tough....I will 
 consider the nuclear option on street protests if they don't get their act together. Watch me 
  make angry black people glow in the dark!
  (!   Right on, Donny!  I'm with you all the way!)

BQ:  Hey, wait a minute. That last one you wrote was no fact check. You're agreeing with him!

CORA:  Oh damn.....I did, didn't I?  Well, what can I say.......whenever he's vomiting up mass death  and destruction, he's my kind of guy!

BQ:  Which is why you're hardly the one to be put in charge of fact checking him........Here, let me give you a little spritz of Clorox.......

CORA:    Arrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!  Human scum! Listen to your President.....you're supposed to swallow that stuff, not spray it on me....aarrrrggg...........











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