'ROCKET'S RED GLARE'......BUT HALF THE BOOK'S NOT THERE......

  Rocket's Red Glare by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann (2026)

     I have aways loved James Patterson for his fast pacing, succinct brief chapters and compelling stories you can't stop reading. And I couldn't wait to plunge into this bullet-riddled, global terrorism action-adventure he co-wrote with Matt Eversmann. A five star rating seemed practically a done deal.

     No deal.

     Not when you plow through a breathless thrill packed book only to have it abruptly come to a dead stop, leaving multiple plot points dangling. It's equivalent to watching a rip roaring action movie where the projector breaks down halfway through. Or a similarity to those end credits teasers of superhero movies, which lead you to realize that the 2 & 1/2 hour movie you just sat through was nothing more than an extended trailer for the sequel.

     Not cool, Mr. Patterson. Not cool at all.

     Let's be clear, I have no problem with thrillers that leave a few tantalizing plot threads in their final pages, as long they play fair and offer readers a measure of closure in regard to the current story we've committed to and read.

     "Rocket's Red Glare" functions as nothing than a colossal teaser for a subsequent book....if in fact authors Patterson and Eversmann get around to publishing one.

     I'll not waste time getting into plot details , other than it follows a formidable independent Paramilitary force contracted by the U.S. government to take on a massive terrorist attack on American soil. Not an easy task, considering the amount of double-agents and moles sprinkled into the mix. As far as the book proceeds, it does deliver, in typical James Patterson fashion, non stop battles and surprises.

     But sorry, as much of a Patterson fan as I am, I'm in no way recommending this book to anybody unless it's published with the blatantly missing second half restored.

     2 stars (**). and that 's being overly kind, considering what a come-on grift this book is. 

       

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "MOTHER OF ALL RALLIES" EDITION.......

 Donald Trump announces a new line-up for his promised 'Rally of Rallies' concert for the 250 celebrations.....these include-

     *Pete Hegseth whipping 200 captured Iranian schoolgirls before forcing them into a mud pit for live free-for-all wrestling.

      *On an Imax, JumboTron, Jared Kushner and Ivanka take you on a tour of their private Albanian island with includes an exclusive spa dedicated to healing those selfless brave patriots, the Jan. 6 rioters.

        *Lee Greenwood sings while driving a pickup truck over human speed bumps created from Latino Abuelas serving time at ICE detainment centers.

      *In a thrilling Grand Finale, acting Attorney General Todd Blanche indicts and arrests the entire casts of Broadway musicals in mid-performance!

Joyous weekend to all BQ visitors, Hell On Earth to all Trumpanzees......see you next week!

'SPENCER'S MOUNTAIN'.......AMERICANA SPREAD EXTRA THICK......BUT OH THAT SCENERY.......

 Spencer's Mountain (1963)

 

     We always thought of writer-director Delmer Daves as the Wal-Mart generic version of Hollywood soap opera grandmaster Douglas Sirk (of "Imitation of Life", "Magnificent Obsession", "Written on the Wind", "All That Heaven Allows").

       Both men were partial to star-studded larger-than-life melodramas photographed in eye-dazzling, blinding Technicolor. Daves' output included such Sirk-ian potboilers like "A Summer Place", "Parrish", "Rome Adventure", and "Susan Slade" (most of them making liberal use of the Warner Brothers junior varsity young actors under studio contracts).

        Unlike the overall gentlemanly tone of Sirk's films, Daves wasn't above entertaining his audience by salting his stories with some low comedy and double entendre sexual innuendo. His crowd-pleasing instincts rarely failed him......he knew how to tug on your heartstrings and still show you a good time.... 

     'Spencer's Mountain' came from the prolific pen of novelist, screenplay and teleplay writer Earl Hamner Jr. Like much of his output, it was based on his rural Virginia upbringing amid a large extended family.

      Almost all of "Twilight Zone"s backwoods supernatural episodes came from Hamner and 'Spencer's' was heavily based on his own country life during Depression era America. 9 years after the release of Daves' film version, Hamner would strike TV gold creating the long running, heart tugging series 'The Waltons'.

         Anyone even slightly familiar with 'The Waltons can easily spot how 'Spencer's Mountain' served as its prototype in many ways.  Both films center around a large close knit family who dote on and heavily depend on their oldest son, who dreams of a life  beyond cow-milking, and co-parenting his his many younger siblings......(Hence James MacArthur's 'Clayboy' Spencer later evolves into Richard Thomas's 'John-boy' of 'The Waltons'.)

         But where 'The Walton's was designed for the small screen, 'Spencer's' unfolds in the spectacular sunshine of the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming. And the breathtaking landscapes are photographed with such picture postcard perfection, you might need sunglasses to watch them.

          The film also benefits from its lead performances by Henry Fonda and Maureen O'Hara as the of the Spencer parents.  Fonda has an especially fine time as the irascible but deeply loving dad to his brood, averse to church-going and given to occasional bouts of boisterous heavy drinking. 

           Armed with a script co-written by himself and Hamner, Delmer Daves drenches the film, like heavy molasses on pancakes, with unabashed sentimentality. There's choir hymns, sudden tragedy, cute toddlers, first love, painful setbacks and no end of manipulative moments designed to wring out sighs, tears and smiles from an audience that Daves and Hamner shamelessly play like a piano.

        Doubling down on the shmaltz, Max Steiner's insistent, omnipresent score pours on the swelling strings at every opportunity.

         In the dark, dark ages we live in now, of course the film comes off like a dusty museum piece, hopelessly out of date with its heart-on-its-sleeve attitudes and blatant cornball atmosphere.  With the exception of its few moments of sudden drama and tragedy, the film exhibits little forward momentum or a sense of urgency......you watch it unfold at its own leisurely, unhurried pace. 

       (Keep in mind, the film arrived in theaters still a half a year away from JFK's assassination, which would mark the beginning of the end of American innocence and confidence in its institutions. When 'Spencer's Mountain' arrived on screens, audiences could still savor and appreciate old fashioned Americana.)

        But Delmer Daves would not allow his film to end up completely Disney-fied.  Halfway through, he tosses in something of a wild card for both the film and James MacArthur's 'Clayboy'......cornfed, blonder than blonde Claris, a hormonally charged Wyoming firecracker played by Mimsy Farmer in her first major film appearance. Only minor roles followed for her until Farmer moved on to Europe where she flourished in uninhibited cult Euro-Junk and bloody, sexy Giallos.

        As for 'Spencer's Mountain', we're not sure whom we'd recommend it for.....maybe Henry Fonda/Maureen O' Hara completists, Golden Age film music curators, for the chance to wallow in a prime Steiner score,  anyone considering a vacation in Jackson Hole Wyoming or maybe lovers of antiquated Hollywood-in-the Heartland corn.....as for us, we reveled in the old school paintbox Technicolor, a glorious sight never ever seen in today's films.

         2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2).

       

           

'THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN'......ONE LITTLE TRIP TO SATURN ...NOW HE'S JACK THE DRIPPER.......

 The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

     If we're to believe the cult movie scuttlebutt that accumulates over the years, this ludicrous, dirt  cheap goo-fest became much treasured and beloved by fanboys everywhere. 

       True, one look at that poster could send any horror-gorehound into fits of orgasmic joy.

        That is, until you sit down and try watching it from beginning to end......

         Such a tasking feat is possible, but only if you're well lubricated with booze and come prepared to fling your own 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' gags and insults at the screen. 

         Every expense was spared to bring this story to slow moving life......a shameless rip-off/remake of the much better 1959 "First Man Into Space". It's about an astronaut who returns to Earth coated in agonizing cosmic sludge and driven to murderous madness. 

          'Melting Man's dauntless space voyager Steve West, along with two other crew members, gaze upon the rings of Saturn......big mistake.

           Even bigger mistake due to the film's $2.98 budget - it's not Saturn they're looking at but old archive footage of solar storms......which as far as we know, only take place on the sun. 

           Steve's buddies don't make it back to Earth, but Steve does.....in a state of dripping, extra-gooey decomposition, which doesn't sit well with Steve. Growling and enraged, he chases after his poor nurse to insure she'll never be included in any sequels.......

            And now let us point out the film's ultimate raison d'etre......the startling make-up effects by one of the masters of the art, Rick Baker. ("Planet of the Apes", "An American Werewolf in London" and many many others).  He's the only genuinely talented, creative individual involved with this movie.......but that doesn't bode well for any movie that has to rely solely on one single production team member to make the resulting film watchable. 

         The rest of film's crew, writer-director William Sachs and his woeful cast of has-beens and non entities are a painful embarrassment to even talk about.

          Nobody should think they'll extract laughs aplenty from this bunch, like giggling at Ed Wood Jr. and his coterie of outcast-oddballs from  "Plan 9 From Outer Space".  The 'Melting Man' cast appears recruited from whoever agreed to kick in a few bucks to film's budget and they're no fun at all to even mock for their limited to non-existent skills. 

        Speaking of the film's low, low budget......its depiction of the U.S. space program consists entirely of that hapless nurse, two doctors and a cranky old General (Myron Healy). How this bunch managed to launch three guys to Saturn all by themselves with no apparent infrastructure anywhere in sight....well, feel free to make your own attempts to figure that out......

       But let us now move on the the actual bloody adventures of Melty, who spends most of the film's 86 minutes staggering through rural foliage, dripping goo on the vegetation and offing a few unlucky folks here and there......including one poor soul whose severed head floats lazily down a river till it tumbles down a waterfall for extra squishy goodness. 

        A teen girl, giving the worst impression of hysteria ever, does hack off Melty's hand but you can't keep an oozing man down.....before he finally succumbs to a total blubbery collapse, like a diarrhea snowman caught in a heatwave, he's succeeded in wiping out most of the supporting cast.....but then, they're really no loss to either the film or the acting community.  

        In the final ironic scenes, it's left to a perplexed elderly janitor to scoop up what's left off Drip-along, while the TV news proudly announces we're sending three more guys to the rings of Saturn!  (presumably sent there by a re-staffed NASA consisting of a nurse, doctor and General. )

         Fans of the astonishing nightmare-inducing creations of Rick Baker won't want to miss this....but for even for the most ardent of sci-fi completists, the minimal fun this movie provides is barely worth the time spent to endure it. 

           1 & 1/2 stars (*1/2).

      

        

'SKYRING WATER'......SLAMBANG GLOBAL THRILLS THAT TURN UP THE TEMP ON THE COLD WAR......

  Skyring Water by Louis L'Amour and Beau L'Amour (2026)

     For anyone who only associates Louis L'Amour's name with westerns, this book, revised, expanded, co-written and restored by his son Beau will come as a huge revelation.

     Often I felt overwhelmed reading this thrilling, exhaustively researched adventure. By the time I finished I felt like I'd plowed through enough geo-political chicanery, graduate level physics,, death defying, breathtaking escapes, battles and explosive violence that could fill over 50 books by Alistair MacLean, Clive Cussler, James Rollins and Frederick Forsythe. At times, this book just plain wore me out.

     We're back in 1961 where some remnants of World War II still simmer and fester and the new Cold War grows hotter by the minute. Surviving hardcore Nazis, still holding dreams of a Fourth Reich, have inserted themselves back into the society, politics and scientific communities of the many countries around the world.......awaiting to seize their opportunity to achieve world domination.

      Amid the perils of this new nuclear world, the expected clashes that come with the rise of emerging nations serve as the bread and butter of former OSS operative, expert diver and arms dealer Mike Fowler.. He's partnered with (and at times mentored by) former Nazi commander and scientist Anton Voss, a man with no end of secrets in his past. And now they're in hot pursuit of the greatest potential prize for soldiers-of-fortune such as themselves.......a hidden, sunken German U-Boat supposedly holding a cargo of 30 million dollars in stolen Nazi gold.......(try to imagine the value adjusted for 2026 inflation.....)

     But Fowler and Voss are far from alone in their quest. Hot on their heels come a host of enemy-rivals....... - the most vicious 'Fourth Reich' cabal imaginable along with Israeli Intelligence, Mafia thugs and a duplicitous CIA officer whom MIke Fowler has despised since their World War II experience together. The search for the gold laden Nazi sub finally leads all of them to the arctic waters at the southern tips of Chile and Argentina.......but there's way more than mere gold awaiting them.

     I have to admit there are more than a few times when the L'amours' staggering amount of research into history, weaponry international espionage and science threaten to bring the overall propulsive momentum of the book to a dead stop. But one thing nobody has to wait long for here........the rip-roaring, bloody gun battles and hand-t0-hand combat that erupt on a regular basis.

     Readers who loved and dearly miss those clock-is-ticking, global high adventures that dominated bestseller lists and films throughout the 1960's and 70's, 'Skyring Water' provides a one stop shopping bonanza. Top notch for this genre.

      4 stars (****).

 

'MAN OF MY DREAMS'.....HOW DID HER FICTIONAL GUY TURN REAL? AND WHO'S STALKING THE AUTHOR?........

 Man of My Dreams by Olivia Worley (2026)

     I can always depend on a swiftly paced twist-filled read from author Olivia Worley. And this one not only delivers that well, but comes up with a wild wild triple-whammy of a final revelation.........which I had to stop and read extra carefully to make sure I was fully comprehending it after picking my jaw up from the floor.

     Romance writer Ivy Harcourt, currently basks in the success of her new bestseller, a modernized re-invention of "Wuthering Heights" (but with a happier ending that she'd wistfully dreamed for Heathcliff and Cathy.). Her new work-in-progress features a charming dreamboat architect named Liam. And, as the strangest of fates would have it, whom does she encounter one day in a meet cute but a charming dreamboat architect named.......well, do I even have say it out loud?

     So how is this far-fetched life-imitates-art coincidence even possible? How did this guy manage to literally walk right off of Ivy's rough-draft pages and into her real life, capturing her heart so quickly? All manner of suspicious, unsettling little things begin to pile up in her mind about too-perfect-to-be-true Liam and something even more anxiety inducing plagues Ivy. She's being stalked by someone with knowledge of her darkest long repressed family tragedy......someone who appears to know the terrible truth of that nightmarish moment she's managed to block out of her mind.

     Suspense, dread and surprises start quickly tumbling through the storyline, which made 'Man of My Dreams' a lightning fast one day read for me. And then topped off by that super Jumbo twist......which to be honest, requires you either go with it or stare at the book muttering "you gotta be kiddin' me, right? Seriously?"

     But personally, in a book like this, I'm not looking for hardcore, down-to-earth reality and I love it when thriller authors take a swing for the fences to come up with a finale to knock a reader upside and down and sideways.. So thank you, Ms. Worley for taking that grand slam swing that had me shaking my head for its sheer outrageous daring. Had a fine time with this one.

     4 stars (****).

'ROAD TRIP'......ROMANCE, MYSTERY, SISTERLY BONDING....AND GREEN, GREEN IRELAND....

  Road Trip by Mary Kay Andrews (2026)

     Mary Kay Andrews arrives just in time with a refreshing summer cooler of a book. It's a warmhearted cocktail mixed with budding new romances, mysteries to solve, even a slight touch of mayhem and all of it transpiring in a cozy Irish town right out of "The Quiet Man".

     We start back in Savannah Georgia, where estranged sisters Maeve and Therese Dunigan face a sea of troubles following the death of their beloved mother. On the eve of her tenure, Maeve's lost her position as a college professor., a cruel blow for someone who's spent her life as a strict rule follower. Therese, her complete opposite in outlook and personality lives her life as a freewheeling would-be actress almost always in a state of unemployment. The sisters discover their dementia-afflicted mom donated her life savings to a shady televangelist, forcing her take out an all new second mortgage on her house.......which neither of her daughters could ever hope to now pay. Their last hope lies in selling a forgotten, family heirloom potentially worth millions......a portrait by a distinguished, famed artist that somehow connects back the sisters' Irish roots.

     In their quest to authenticate the painting, the Dunigan sisters travel to Tarrytown Ireland to unravel the many mysteries surrounding their great-grandmother and the aristocratic family who accused her of murder after she'd been compelled to sail off to an adventurous new life in America.

     Though like oil and water together, Maeve and Therese rediscover their sisterly bond and make a formidable team, piecing together a tale of love, courage, brazen criminality and even murder most foul. And it surely doesn't hurt that Maeve's helped by Liam, that personable maker of Irish whiskey she's fallen for......and vice versa.

     Leave it to Mary Kay Andrews to smoothy weave all these characters and plot elements into one comforting and charming package, making the book as much of a scenic, heart-filled and eventful vacation for her readers as it is for Maeve and Therese. And who can resist an armchair trip through those lush green Irish hills and valleys?

      4 stars (****).