'EVERYTHING HAPPENS SO MUCH'.....ESME BITES BACK AT REALITY......AND REACHES THE WORLD'S BELLY-BUTTON.....

 Everything Happens So Much by Andrew H. Murray (2026)

     Fasten your seat belts cause Oh boy here we go plunging down the multi-verse rabbit hole, from which few souls ever return with their sanity intact. But despair not......fortunately for all of us, the book's a hilarious, a mad, mad, wink-wink satire that falls somewhere between George Orwell, Jonathon Swift, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Monty Python..

I     n this fractured, warped 'Wizard of Oz/1984/Alice in Wonderland world sits our Dorothy/Alice......Esme Good. And Esme's not doing too good, the very definition of a non-entity, nondescript worker bee living a life of anonymous quiet desperation. While toiling in the customer service cubicles of a vast bureaucratic complaint department, Esme's become addicted to chugging 'Elsewheres'. It's a new designer drug that, for 15 minutes, allows her live the life of one of the millions of alternate universe Esme Goods floating around in the cosmos.

     But in somehow accidentally ripping the fabric of reality, Esme's caught the attention the omnipotent Powers-The-Be. They indict and jail her under unknowable Kafka-esque charges that sound devised by Wonderland's Red Queen.. Not to worry through, since Esme's world-shaking exploits are only just beginning......she's broken out of prison by fellow inmates Chip Sestina and, his sentient artificial talking leg Jessica.....(we're serious here.) Following along on their Oz-ian misadventures is Esme's former co-worker, impromptu attorney and possible romantic interest Talmeck. With the Fabric of Reality police hot on their heels, this nutty group goes on the run into ever more loony perilous adventures.

     No question about it.....author Andrew H. Murray is one wickedly funny social satirist who keeps you smiling and laughing all the way through this fantastic junket leading right up to the veritable belly-button of Planet Earth......(not kidding here, either). My only quibble - at times the screwball humor of it all gets lost in the the story's deepening metaphysical verbiage.......as if the book can't get out of its own way. But then I could always count on some razor sharp witty zinger coming just around the corner.....

     Anyone who loves traveling way off the beaten path and have a fun time doing it......Esme Good is good to go.

     4 stars (****).

 

'UNTIL THE LAST LIGHT GOES OUT'....FOR THIS SENIOR CLASS (AND LATER, THEIR KIDS), CHECKOUT TIME IS.......NEVER.

  Until the Last Light Goes Out by Courtney Gould (2026)

     YA horror readers should prepare themselves for an immersive deep dive here. We're talking about two separate generations trapped in the same deeply haunted, cursed resort parked on one of the remote Florida Keys. Mass mysterious deaths decimated a 2001 graduating class who'd hoped to party hearty there, but leaving only five survivors. Now, 25 years later, some of these survivors' children find themselves drawn to the abandoned resort in the hopes of finding answers their shaken parents won't dare to speak aloud... Whatever horrific, murderous presence that infested the hotel all those years ago is very much alive......and hungry, craving fresh blood from fresh victims.

     In the book's two side by side timelines, we see the growing terror unfold for the 2001 class and then repeating for the small current group. The same powerful entity uses the Kaleidoscope Key resort as a nothing more than a bait trap for humans snared in its clutches. And its abilities to bend and warp the architecture of the hotel to its own murderous ends can drive its victims into violent madness. Exits disappear, replaced by a never ending maze of corridors and rooms that only lead to........more empty corridors and rooms......and a pool seemingly custom made for drowning in.

     The ordeal of the 2026 group especially weighs heavily on estranged former best friends Paige and KJ. (Even more hurtful since the two girls nursed more that just friendly feelings toward each other.) And it's here where author Courtney Gould excels in creating characters we care about, whom we fear for, and make us cringe for them as the Kaleidoscope monstrosity, with its overwhelming God-like powers, sadistically torments and toys with them.

     I should give fair warning that with its dual timelines of two groups subjected to the same terrifying occurrences, "Until the Last Light" becomes as much of a punishing ordeal for us as it does for all these hapless young adults trapped literally in the belly of a beast. I can't deny there were moments when I felt the book threatened to simply wear me out. But if you're willing to stay on board for the full ride, there's much genuine heartbreaking emotion and human insight on display here in addition to the expected grisly splatter.

     And like all unforgettable horror novels, the final words spin the chill meter up to the raise-the-hair-on-the-back-of-your-neck setting. So by all means, check in to the Kaleidoscope hotel real soon......for the same kind of relaxing vacation you'd get at the Bates Motel or.....what's the name of that place up in New England called again? Oh right....Hill House.

     4 stars (****).

WEEKEND GLADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL SURFING THE BLUE WAVE EDITION......

 

BQ visitors:  Hoping a great weekend is in store for you all.....see you next week!

Trumpanzees:  Try to at least understand why an overwhelming majority of the country delivered an enormous 'Go F*** Yourself' to your Marmalade Mussolini.  Sorry, but there appears to be a new MAGA movement sweeping the land.....Make Assholes Go Away......

'THE ENTITY'........A GHOSTLY RAPIST SETTLES ON ONE VICTIM.......

 The Entity (1982)

       Quite some time we'd been chasing after this one for a re-watch but found it constantly elusive to get ahold of.....until, wonder of wonders, it popped up in the Amazon Prime lineup.

       And like many of the rediscovered horror movies of the 1980's, it still packs a hell of a punch, brimming with jump scares, constant dread, skilled performances and even some all-out special effects spectacle.

         Unlike Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper's 'Poltergeist', released the same year, 'The Entity's not designed to give you a popcorn-munchin' chuckles 'n chills rollercoaster thrill ride.

         This movie traffics in pure unadulterated terror and unease......it's not interested in showing you a good time. Just a frightening one...

          Inspired by a true 1974 paranormal case history, it's a hellish tale of lower middle class working mom Carla Moran (Barbara Hershey, superb in the role....)

           Carla's ill-fated marriage and other random hook-ups have given her a teenage son Billy (David Labiosa) and two small daughters. One night, an invisible presence slaps her and subjects her to a brutal sexual assault. 

           And it's only the beginning of subsequent, increasingly violent rapes, often accompanied by poltergeist-ish breakage of windows and furniture. Whatever this ghastly thing is, it's filled with rage....and foreplay is not its forte. Possibly a stand in metaphor for all the abusive, defective men in Carla's checkered past.

           Increasingly panicked and distraught, Carla turns for help from best friend Cindy (Margaret Blye) and then psychiatrist Dr. Sneiderman (Ron Silver).  As Sneiderman becomes deeply concerned and worried over Carla's torments, he staunchly rejects any paranormal theories as rubbish and fakery. He's convinced that Carla's attacks are self inflicted manifestations of her dark, troubled childhood, including molestations as a child. 

        In desperation, Carla turns to a parapsychology team, who've viewed enough of  the entity's sudden, explosive rampages to believe her. And to Sneiderman's outrage and worry, Carla allows the ghost hunters to use her as bait in an elaborate booby trap to freeze the transparent demon in a cascade of liquid helium. 

         Director Sidney J. Furie ("The Ipcress Files", "Lady Sings the Blues", "The Appaloosa"), gives the movie the propulsive immediacy it needs. He's more than aided in putting the horror of it all across by his MVP Barbary Hershey (of so many unsung, under-appreciated performances in films like "Black Swan", "Last Summer", "Boxcar Bertha", "The Right Stuff", "The Natural" and "The Last Temptation of Christ").

           Hershey combines the heart rending vulnerability of her character with an ingrained core of steel that's startling when it comes out of her.....(after the repeated assaults, she dares to provoke the entity with contemptuous disdain.). The film's last encounter between Carla and her unseen predator leaves an audience with a sardonic close-out and maybe, just maybe a slight bit of hope.

          We don't want to forget finishing up this  review without mentioning composer Charles Bernstein's most adept help in driving up the scare quotient.......scoring the horrific assaults with relentless, pounding percussion, a real soundtrack of nightmares.

            All horror movie completists should seek this one out if you haven't done so already. If you need more shivers and chills for chilly nights, "The Entity" remains at your service.

           4 & 1/2 stars (****1/2).

    

  

         

             

MIDWEEK GLADNESS WRAP-UP..... ........BREAKING NEWS......U.S.A. SAVED.

 

'NUMB WERE THE BEADSMAN'S FINGERS'.....FAREWELL TO A BELOVED CHILD DETECTIVE AND HER GIFTED CREATOR.....

 Numb Were the Beadsman's Fingers by Alan Bradley (2026)

     So torn as to what the tone of this 5 star review should be. I want to convey the enthusiasm at how much I loved this book, but at the same time feel deeply saddened about the passing of its author Alan Bradley. As delightful as this latest (and last) Flavia de Luce mystery is to read, I couldn't escape the aura of melancholy I felt even as I enjoyed every page of it........including the brief poignant farewell left by the author, filled with his signature wit and wisdom.

     In her incredibly eventful yet still brief lifetime, irrepressible, ultra-precocious 12 year old Flavia has managed to close the case on 11 previous confounding mysteries in and around her post World War 2 countryside estate. With her faithful crime solving gardener cohort Dogger, she now faces a truly bizarre, baffing puzzle surrounding the death of a nun from a silent Order. It appears that the late Sister Garance hid a startling secret about herself and her dark past contained far more than anyone could imagine.

     Flavia and Dogger's investigations into the nun's strange death lead them all the way back to the turbulent, violent Klondike Gold Rush of the late 19th century. With the help of recollections from one of the surviving Klondike adventurers, Flavia delves into a past brutal world of thievery,, betrayal, and murder amid the lethally arctic cold more dangerous than the greedy men who live in it.

     Along the way to an ultimate solution, the good hearted Flavia cherishes her time with the worldly wise Dogger and copes with the constant drama surrounding her two older sisters and her perpetual constant shadow and nemesis, the little devilish cousin Undine. And as always, author Bradley finds a way to mix humor and heart in every scene.

     I couldn't recommend 'Beadsman's Fingers" more highly and I can only wish Alan Bradley has stayed with us to take Flavia de Luce into adolescence, young adulthood and even middle age. Flavia and her creator will both be sorely missed.

     5 stars (*****).

MONDAY MADNESS WRAP-UP........ONE LAST REMINDER BEFORE YOU GO TO THE POLLS........

 

Tomorrow's your chance to save the United States of America.....

Please be there.