WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL 'PARTICIPATION TROPHY!' EDITION......

 Squeaker of the House Mike Johnson awards Trump his very own 'American First' award.....

Melania appears with humanoid robot.....the robot's the one on the left....Melania reportedly programmed to robot to replace her at certain events and moments, programming it to say, "Not this year, Donald....I have a headache..."

And now....it's off to more madness....and our glorious 'excursion

Special reminder to all "But I didn't vote for THIS"  Trump voters, don't forget to demand this with whatever brain cells you still have functioning.....

Wonderful weekend to BQ visitors.....see you next week.

'PROJECT HAIL MARY'.....'BARBENHEIMER' ALL BY ITSELF.....FILLING UP GRATEFUL THEATERS AS WE SPEAK.......

 Project Hail Mary (2026)

     So this is what it's come to......

     Multiplexes gasping for box office bucks as their many auditoriums remain empty for months at a time....their screens playing movies that nobody wants to move off their couch to go out and see and everybody prefers to wait until the films migrate over to the streaming services......

       Like exhausted sunstroke victims crawling through a desert, theater owners wait for Hollywood to finally, finally slake their thirst with a bona fide popcorn blockbuster.....at long last a movie that everybody can't wait to enjoy on the big screen, in big stereo, with a big bag of popcorn that could easily feed a third world nation for year......

        Believe us when we tell you that once upon a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Hollywood studios use to produce such films on a regular basis.  And we all crowded into theaters to let them envelop us on a huge screen with Dolby wraparound stereo loud enough to shake our teeth loose. 

      Remember the summer of 2023, the summer of 'Barbie' and 'Oppenheimer'?  Seems like ancient history now......

      Now, after a long drought, comes Amazon-MGM to catch the lightning-in-a-bottle required to lure huge crowds back into those multiplex seats...... with its 200 million dollar budgeted 'Project Hail Mary', a refreshing, funny, exciting, suspenseful eye-popping, heart rending popcorn thrill ride.....the kind of all ages appealing film that studios seem capable of producing only sporadically.

          Based on 'The Martian' novelist Andy Weir's bestseller, it presents us with our most endearing movie star Ryan Gosling as Ryland Grace, one of the most flawed but sympathetic characters who's ever fronted a major film.

            Ryland, a disgraced, molecular biology PhD  and now a beloved middle school science teacher, finds himself recruited and tasked with no less than saving the universe as we know it from sun-devouring microbes. Stuck on a spaceship with a dead crew and not a clue, Grace strikes up a classic buddy relationship with his most surprising ally.....a spider-like alien made of rocks who's been sent on the same mission to save his home planet too.

         Together, Grace and 'Rocky' take us on a journey leaving us breathless, stunned, elated, heartbroken, tearful, cheering and at times, laughing out loud for joy. Is it any wonder moviegoers are lining up for this? 

         Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (of "The Lego Movie" and "Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse") work real wonders here and Gosling deploys his killer deadpan charm at its most charismatic. Another bonus MVP: actress Sandra Huller (of "The Zone of Interest" and "Anatomy of a Fall") as Gosling's iron-willed superior (and one hell of a karaoke belter).

         And a special standing ovation to composer  Daniel Pemberton for a rich symphonic score as wildly eclectic as the film itself.....overpowering, majestic, pulse-racing, and even playful and witty. 

          Having heaped all this praise on the film, we don't pretend to know what formula exists to make a popcorn blockbuster like 'Hail Mary'.   As celebrated screenwriter William Goldman once said of the powers-that-be in Hollywood, "Nobody knows anything".  In short, maybe it's pure serendipity when the right actors, the right story and the right filmmakers all come together....hitting the Zeitgeist pop culture sweet spot to birth a massive hit. 

       (Keep in mind, we had similar opinions about "The Fall Guy", another Ryan Gosling romp also designed to be a sure fire crowd pleaser. We loved it, but nobody showed up. The answer?  Well....William Goldman said it all....who knows?)

        We do know 'Project Hail Mary' is more than worth parking yourself into one of those nice reclining multiplex seats and let it work its magic on you. As Rocky the alien frequently cries out, "Amaze, amaze, amaze!"

          5 stars (*****).

        

'THE SURVIVOR'.....A SUBWAY PASSENGER AND HIS TORMENTOR.....BOTH GONE OFF THE RAILS......

  The Survivor by Andrew Reid (2026)

     Hold to those overhead straps or wrap your arms tight around those support poles.........get ready for the most hazardous-to-your-health New York subway ride since 'The Taking of Pelham One, Two Three'. Next stop......either 181st st or death, whichever comes first.

     You'd think the day couldn't get any worse for young Ben Cross, freshly fired on the first day of his brand new job and escorted out by security. But once on the NYC subway, he's in for the ride of his life......for as long as it lasts.. Which judging from the attitude of the anonymous messages that start popping up on his phone, Ben's life expectancy can be counted off in minutes. Somebody's got it in for him real, real bad....and they know who he really is.

     This threatening somebody not only knows Ben's darkest secrets, , they're given to forcing Ben to isolate certain passengers on the train who've been targeted to die horribly when they get off at their stops.....and then they immediately do. The die horribly part.

     The rather bizarre spectacular murders bring in Homeland Security, the FBI and recently disgraced and demoted New York Detective Kelly Hendricks. Being the first one on the scene, Detective Hendricks ends up boarding the train and tasked with unraveling the many mysteries of Ben Cross and his unknown tormentor. And she'd better figure it out fast, since the mastermind may have packed the train with explosives and has demanded the train go barreling toward the deepest station in the subway system.....but to what purpose?

     The clock's ticking, the train's racing and the bits and pieces of the Ben Cross puzzle begin to assemble into a backstory of gut wrenching tragedy and horror beyond belief, ...with more surprises yet ahead.

     If you can't tell from my description that 'The Survivor' is one terrific thrill ride (and a whammer of a beach read), the four star rating should sum it up nicely.. All aboard for this one.

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     4 stars (****)

'ROBBIE MCNEIL'S HIT LIST'.....KILLERS, KARAOKE.....AND LET'S PUT ON A SHOW!

 Robbie McNeil's Hit List by Brianna Heath (2026)

     It's never easy when you're stuck with competing, divided opinions about a book......delighted with all the stuff in it you like and frustrated and perplexed by all the things that most definitely left you cold.

     So it was with this book, which swings back and forth between charming, witty and twisty enough in its plot.....but carries with it a cruel amoral undertone even as it tirelessly generates and begs for sympathy for its characters..

     Which is why, for the first time, I find myself having to round a 3 star review upward to 3..5. because I do not feel comfortable giving 'Robbie' a full 4 stars.

     First off, if we're to believe novelists and screenwriters of thrillers, the number of killers-for-hire running around far exceeds that of healthcare , food service and government employees. No wonder I can't find a doctor and have to wait so long for my fries.......they've all switched to more profitable careers of bumping off people.

       And that brings us to Robbie McNeil and Dee Machado, a queerplatonic couple who own and operate a popular lesbian Karaoke bar.......as well as accept lucrative contracts to eliminate people whom other people have decided should push up daisies. Dee's an quick, efficient sniper on his assignments while Robbie painstakingly stalks her potential victims so as to arrange meticulous 'accidental' deaths.

     Robbie's latest dead-man-walking, an elusive, mysterious young fellow, manages to simply disappear on her. And this puts Robbie in the unforgiving crosshairs of the equally mysterious (and extra creepy) guy who hired her for the kill. This alarming development comes just as Robbie and Dee are trying to mount their amateur Broadway-style musical in a huge historic theater graciously rented to them by a wealthy politician-powerbroker. And wouldn't you know it.......the tangled, twisted backstory of Robbie's missing hit-target crosses paths with all the crisis-a-day, show-bizzy chaos of putting on a musical.

     Robbie and Dee are presented to us as a loving, sharp-witted ride-or=die duo, so I guess we're supposed to root for them and not give too much thought to their resume strewn with dead bodies. (You see my problem here.). Also, the pacing of the book goes slack and inert for long stretches, with the narrative coasting on its charm and attempts at dark gallows humor.. But I did enjoy the grand finale, which to me played almost like a spoof of a cornball, feel-good 1930's musical. Well, yeah.....it was fun and made me feel good.

     A mixed bag, indeed......so I'm sticking with the 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2).

'MOST LIKELY TO MURDER'......WHO'LL SURVIVE THE YEARBOOK KILLER AND LIVE TO GRADUATE?

 Most Likely to Murder by Lish McBride (2026)

      As derivative and obvious as it is, I couldn't resist having myself a cheerful time with this one, a breezy one day read that flies by. Yes, it's that reliable surefire crowd pleaser......a disparate group of teens who band together to find the serial killer who's methodically polishing them off, one by one.

     This killer's something of a cruel joker with a twisted sense of humor.........altering a page in the high school yearbook to pre-assign a particular group of students their own special, horrible fates, with, the manner of each death printed underneath their photo.. But why them? And why did the killer start off the murder spree with offing one of their faculty counselors?

      Front and center in this group are high school outcasts Rick and Martina, both from financially struggling families and fierce BFFs forever. Their quick-witted byplay is a constant delight to read all throughout the book While the cool and witty Martina has her eye on a girl she's fallen for, she keeps encouraging the shy Rick to finally speak to pretty, studious Nika, the equally shy girl on whom he's been nursing a powerful crush. (And it's pretty obvious that for Nika, the feeling's mutual

      But our unfriendly neighborhood killer has begun to make good on those nasty yearbook predictions. The ever growing sweet and adorable Rick-Nika romance can only proceed slowly while the body count rises. And the teens team up to desperately figure out the who and the why of the murders before their numbers diminish any further.

      Loads of snarky sarcastic (but deeply affectionate) back-and-forth between Rick and Martina and as I've already pointed out, the slow burn crushes of Rick and Nika are enormous fun to watch come to fruition.. The pacing zips along but leaves little time to grieve for those unfortunates who don't make it to the end of the book. (In that regard, similar to slasher movies.)

      The only thing author Lish McBride doesn't quite land - the killer reveal. It feels like it came out of nowhere and the motives sound far fetched and contrived at the last minute. This is one book where you'll end up far more entertained by 90 per cent of the story rather than the last 10 percent spent on its conclusion.. But for me, it didn't stop 'Most Likely...' from being a lively, captivating read overall.

      4 stars (****).

 

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP....SPECIAL 'WANNA HEAR MY BEST PEARL HARBOR JOKES?' EDITION.......

 Trump cracks a Pearl Harbor joke in front of Japan's internally cringing leader.....the world anxiously awaits his inevitable rib-tickling one liner gags about Hiroshima and Nagasaki....

Moving on to the rest of the week's madness....

And please don't forget to call your congressperson and/or senator about....

Happy Weekend to all.....see you Monday....

'THE BRIDE!'......BQ THROWS THE LAST SCOOP OF DIRT ON THE COFFIN.....R.I.H. (REST IN HBO-MAX)

The Bride! (2026)

     We wanted to see this already notorious instant disaster before it slipped out of theaters and was buried in the final vault for Warner Bros. movies....HBO-Max (or eventually Paramount after it gobbles up what's left of WB). Sorry, we don't subscribe to either service......

      And we had a more than sneaking suspicion that this film would not justify forking out 24.99 for a Blu-Ray. 

        We weren't quite right about that. But we're not sorry we splurged for a bargain matinee 7.00 ticket to see it on the big screen in ear-busting stereo......along with two other people who came to see it. 

       So here's the rundown....

        Yes, it's a sloppy, unhinged mess from beginning to end. 

        Yes, it's deliberately crafted as a frenzied, fantasy fever-dream that never slows down, catches its breath or ever figures out what story it wants to tell at any given moment......

         Yes, the high pitched craziness drags on and on through a punishing two hours......and like every film released in the last 10 years, it could've benefited from being.....well, damn shorter than 126 minutes. That's an awful lot of time to make an audience sit through a film that makes you think you're trapped inside the violent ward of a psychiatric hospital. (Just ask the makers of 'Joker: Folie a Deux'.)

          Nothing in writer-director Maggie Gyllenhaal's brief directorial career suggested her  capable of attempting such an ambitiously off-the-rails visual three ring circus, a chaotic nightmare that flies its freak flag like its going to war. To her (and Warner Brothers) deep regret, she discovered.....it ain't easy. 

         But damn, we couldn't help admiring her sheer nerve for trying, aided and abetted by one of the most fiercely talented actresses at work today....and in this film, not only working at the very peak of her talents, but if anything, expanding her range.

          Jessie Buckley, who plays both Frankenstein's bride and her creator Mary Shelley, dazzles like a special effect all by herself. Her explosive, mesmerizing  performance here far eclipses the work of the usual 1000 digital artists whose names drag through the usual 10 minute end credit crawls.

         Unlike other critics, we didn't have any problem with Maggie Gyllenhaal turning the film into a battle cry for female empowerment. The sequence where the Bride inspires the women of 1930's Chicago to copy her ink-stained make-up and embark on a literal man-bashing spree provided one of the few times this addled film made sense to us....(not to mention adding a helping of sly satire.)

         And it's no wonder that the only thing that stood out for the few viewers who took a chance on the film was its exhilarating, bonkers 'Puttin' On The Ritz' musical number, a live wire homage to both Mel Brooks' 'Young Frankenstein' and Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' video.  It's a moment of enthusiastic, creative joy that Gyllenhaal briefly captures before she lets the film melt back into its quagmire of dank weirdness that wore everybody out. 

      Ultimately, 'The Bride!' sinks under the weight of all the many tropes it tries to juggle in the air at the same time......gangsters as a metaphor for the patriarchy, movie glamour vs. cruel reality, an Addams Family version of 'Bonnie and Clyde' and the primal scream of anguish from a woman brought back from the dead only for the purpose of an arranged marriage.

       In its own ways, we thought the film as every bit as daring and adventurous as anything in 'One Battle After Another' and 'Sinners'.  But 'The Bride' and its lead character weren't designed as crowd pleasers. Quite the opposite. Jessie Buckley's bride dared you to watch her.....and the audience passed on the dare.

         (We don't want to end this review without at least mentioning the equally gifted, superb work of  Christian Bale as the poor, dense, perplexed Frankenstein and Annette Benning as the not-quite-mad doctor he tasks with jump-starting a mate for him...)

         We'll go out on a limb to predict this much.....it may take ten or twenty years, but we'd take a bet that this film will undergo a major critical re-assessment, maybe even a rediscovery.  But we wouldn't gamble on whether all those years later,  it'll still be reviled as a catastrophe or celebrated as a forgotten, misunderstood classic. You tell us.

       In the here and now, we say 2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2). If you come across it on  HBO or Paramount (or whatever the hell they end up calling themselves)....c'mon, throw caution to the wind and give it a shot.