WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL 'I LOVE THE INFLATION!' EDITION.......

 Dearest Trump Voters:

      This weekend, we don't even need to sign off with our usual final line to wish you ill.....

       Your Dear Leader, your Fearless Fuhrer did all the work for us......

       This Weekend Wrap-Up is just for you, both hardcore Trumpanzees and "But I didn't vote for this!" whiners.....

       Enjoy!  Enjoy!

And the madness continues.......

To BQ visitors....Wonderful weekend to you all...see you next week!

'BACKROOMS'.......WHO'S MINDING THE STORAGE?

 Backrooms (2026)

       As the end credits came up on this one, we experienced two separate but equal reactions.....

       The first:  "What the actual **** did we just watch?"

         The second:  "We may not understand what the actual **** we just watched, but we're pretty damn sure what we watched......might come close to brilliant."

         Co-writer and director Kane Parsons, some kind of YouTube, Tik-Tok wunderkind making his feature film debut, has definitely crafted a film worth thinking about, arguing about and filled to the brim with images that stick with you. 

      We're well aware that for all of the box office money it's scooping up like a vacuum cleaner, it's leaving plenty of viewers annoyed , confounded and convinced it wasn't worth the ticket price. 

       We agree to disagree. "Backrooms" more than accomplishes what every horror movie sets out to do, if you get right down to it.......to envelop you in a waking nightmare from which there's no escape. 

       And what a clever bad dream does young Kane suck you into.......the epitome of what's now referred to as 'liminal horror'......a deceptively bland dreamscape that's part Franz Kafka in its bleak outlook and part artist M.C. Escher in its infinite architecture that appears to go nowhere and somewhere all at the same time. 

       Right at the start, it's implied that this bizarre alternate universe of endless yellow walled backrooms, one leading to the other, is currently under study and exploration by some unknown scientific corporation......and that it's as dangerous as looking for the Blair Witch or wandering through the 'Nostromo' in 'Alien'. 

      But our primary lead victim is a very normal down-to-earth (and down and out) everyman.  Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor) bitter, alcoholic, divorced and a failed architect, is reduced to managing an equally failing strip mall furniture store. 

        To his stunned disbelief Clark discovers his store's basement level contains a fourth dimensional portal into the weird, maze-like Backroom world. He tries telling his empathetic therapist Mary (Renate Reinsve), who's dealing with her own memories of a  fractured childhood......but Mary's empathy doesn't extend to swallowing the sheer lunacy of what Clark's describing. 

       (And let us stop a moment here to credit the outstanding performances by Ejiofor and Reinsve, whose gifted work further elevates the film......)

       As horror fans could easily predict, Clark's recruitment of his two young assistant managers to help explore Backroom-ia (or whatever you want to call it) doesn't go well for any of them.  It falls to the vulnerable, incredulous Mary to plunge herself in the hearts of darkness lurking within all those countless interconnected brightly lit rooms, each of them bland yet still terrifying in their stark simplicity.

       What's it all mean?  Good question. 

        While the film will supply you with an all too conventional explanation for those jump-suited tech guys we saw lurking about at the beginning, the ultimate mysteries of the Backrooms will not be spelled out for you..........(which would account, we think, for those audience members leaving the film scratching their heads, deeply confused and unsatisfied.)

       Like many film pundits, we could start to pontificate on our own personal theories on the film's meaning but chances are, they wouldn't sound  any more or less perceptive than anybody else's. But that's the pure excitement and fun of experiencing a film that's willing to challenge you, laying out all its crazy ideas for you to absorb and ponder. 

          If you're seeing the film or plan to see it, we'd love to here your take on Backrooms, so by all means drop us some thoughts at www.thebeachedqull@gmail.com.

           Not everybody may like it, but BQ puts this one among the essential watches for 2026.

           4 stars (****).

         

         

               

'BEACH THRILLER'......DON'T HIT THE BEACH OR THE POOL WITHOUT THIS ONE....

  Beach Thriller by Jamie Day (2026)

     What better book to read on a beach than this one, a twist crammed mystery set in a scenic little Massachusetts coastal town..........where there's almost as many hidden dark family secrets as there are shells on the sand.

     Actually, this Jamie Day page turner can be enjoyed just as much in the Fall or the dead of winter or any time at all, but if you've gotten into previous Day thrillers like I have, you'll want to grab hold of it ASAP..

     The newest resident of Beauport Mass. is novelist Holly Sinclair, whose meager book royalties and low finances force her to move in to her family's dilapidated seaside cottage. Along with the peeling paint and sagging woodwork, the house fills Holly with painful memories of her late older sister. Holly's convinced Anna's tragic, so-called accidental death connects back to the ultra wealthy Carmichaels, the sort of Beauport royal family whom Anna worked for as a server. And Holly's certain, despite the obnoxious town cop who tells her otherwise, that Anna's death constitutes an unsolved murder and that the Carmichaels hide a whole closet full of skeletons in their castle-estate.......complete with an ominous turret tower hiding who-know-what..

     While trying to start to new novel to help her dire bank account, Holly ends up providing shelter and care for Jade, an outwardly tough but vulnerable teen girl runaway. And her worries for Jade only become worse when the girl takes a job with the dreaded Carmichaels, including the imperious matriarch Maeve and her suave son Conrad.. When the fearless Jade takes it upon herself ,on Holly's behalf, to conduct an undercover investigation into the mysterious family..........well, a reader can prepare for all manner of breathless events and stunning reveals.

     Once again, Jamie Day hits the bullseye here, and I felt there's way more heart and soul packed into these characters than I've seen in previous Day thrillers, which is all to the good.........since the suspense doubles up when you start to hear yourself muttering internally..."no, no, don't go in there!" Whatever kind of reading list you're working on......I'd recommend putting "Beach Thriller" somewhere high up on it.

     4 stars (****).

'THE BREAK-UP RETREAT......A JOURNALIST UNDERCOVER......OUT TO PUT THE BRAKES ON THE BREAK-UP THERAPIST....

The Break-Up Retreat by Camilla Sten (2026)

     If there's anything we know for sure about psychological thrillers set in remote so-called 'wellness' retreats, it's this.

     Nobody's going to get well. Somebody ( maybe multiple somebodies) are going to get dead. And you can safely bet that a spoonful of sugar won't make the therapy go down.

     Undercover journalist Isobel Anderssen hopes to pull the curtains back on the Himlafall Clinic run by world famous therapist and best selling author Dr. Martina Hastings. The 'good' doctor and her deep-in-the-Swedish-woods clinic exclusively cater to healing, improving and correcting the lives of hurting women devastated by toxic relationships that always lead to break ups.

     But Isobel suspects there's deep trouble in paradise. Ugly rumors of mistreated, abused patients and possibly even some who've mysteriously disappeared and never heard from again. Infiltrating Himlafall as a would-be patient, she hopes to find out what's going on, with the help a a dear lifelong friend who's secured a job as one the clinic's staff assistants.

     As you can imagine, nothing goes right for Isobel. Ominous clues abound, and she didn't count on the charismatic, supremely self-satisfied Dr. Martina knowing full well how to captivate and dominate her patients.....including Isobel. The therapy sessions carry an unsettling atmosphere of cruel intimidation and the dread and suspense start to escalate until all bad things come to a head.......on what else? A dark and stormy night.

     As long as the book stuck to the unfolding plot in the clinic itself, I found it briskly paced, well crafted and working up a good amount of chill inducing shivers and anticipation for whatever comes next. But then every so often author Camilla Sten goes down the psychology rabbit hole, filling up the pages with endless texts memorandums , case history blah-blah-blahs.....and it rarely does anything except bring the book's momentum to a grinding halt......practically begging a reader to skim through it. .

     But I don't want to miss pointing out the finale's a real cinematic corker, slightly flirting with all out horror. amid all the revelations. Which, come think of it, makes me want to round it up to a 3.5 rating. You'll get the feeling that Dr. Martina would've been better off recommending Haagen-Dazs and Netlfix romcoms for break-up therapy instead of her own loony ideas.

     3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2). 

'YOU WON'T FORGET ME'.....ROCK 'N ROLL AND ROMANCE.....REAL AND FAKE.....AND ON TOUR....

 You Won't Forget Me by Mazy Eddings (2026)

     This is one busy, busy book and I don't mind admitting that if one of its intentions was to make a reader fall head over heels for the lead character....then mission accomplished.

     Author Mazy Eddings packs a whole of content in here to surround the primary tale of a a rocky but always sweetly passionate sapphic romance. There's an unflinching look, both funny and dramatic at the struggles of a fledgling rock 'n roll band, trying to create their music and make themselves heard.. But that's an uphill battle fought in the pop music trenches 0f record label machinations and bookings in dingy bars and clubs. And then there's always the vast social media universe of of instant critics hovering over the every move of those who dare to live their lives in the public eye.

     This is what faces 23 year old singer songwriter Cubby Clark, whose efforts to put her feelings into meaningful words and music seem constantly derailed by the ups and downs of her rock group and her own turbulent love life. Ex band member Conner, also Cubby's ex boyfriend has moved on to an overnight smash solo career.. But it's a career built on a hit song portraying Cubby as a poor excuse for a girlfriend, both in and out of the bedroom.

     Betrayed, enraged and and deeply hurt by being cast as a pop music villainess in the media, an already anguished Cubby gives in to her label owner's plan for an American tour to feature a deliberately fake romance between Cubby and band mate Harry. This only adds all new troubles on top of Cubby's realization that her lifelong love for Darcy, fellow band member and friend since childhood, is far, far more than platonic.

     Author Mazy Eddings expertly has you literally aching for Cubby as her passion to create and her passion for Darcy collide along with her temperamental clashes with the band and Connor's insidiously false public portrayal of her.. Being young and given to spur of the moment wrong decisions, you can't help but silently cheer her on to find a way into daylight, into the music she lives to compose.......and the girl she can't live without.

     By the time 'You Won't Forget Me' finishes , you feel like you've been served a 10 course meal...... the rock music life in all its contentious, rambunctious glory, the electric joys of crafting music, the treacherous navigation through media jungles.......and finally pure overpowering love. And that's a whole lot more than I ever expected from a book with that usual familiar cover of two girls gazing dreamily at each other.

        4 stars (****).

'ROCKET'S RED GLARE'......BUT HALF THE BOOK'S NOT THERE......

  Rocket's Red Glare by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann (2026)

     I have aways loved James Patterson for his fast pacing, succinct brief chapters and compelling stories you can't stop reading. And I couldn't wait to plunge into this bullet-riddled, global terrorism action-adventure he co-wrote with Matt Eversmann. A five star rating seemed practically a done deal.

     No deal.

     Not when you plow through a breathless thrill packed book only to have it abruptly come to a dead stop, leaving multiple plot points dangling. It's equivalent to watching a rip roaring action movie where the projector breaks down halfway through. Or a similarity to those end credits teasers of superhero movies, which lead you to realize that the 2 & 1/2 hour movie you just sat through was nothing more than an extended trailer for the sequel.

     Not cool, Mr. Patterson. Not cool at all.

     Let's be clear, I have no problem with thrillers that leave a few tantalizing plot threads in their final pages, as long they play fair and offer readers a measure of closure in regard to the current story we've committed to and read.

     "Rocket's Red Glare" functions as nothing than a colossal teaser for a subsequent book....if in fact authors Patterson and Eversmann get around to publishing one.

     I'll not waste time getting into plot details , other than it follows a formidable independent Paramilitary force contracted by the U.S. government to take on a massive terrorist attack on American soil. Not an easy task, considering the amount of double-agents and moles sprinkled into the mix. As far as the book proceeds, it does deliver, in typical James Patterson fashion, non stop battles and surprises.

     But sorry, as much of a Patterson fan as I am, I'm in no way recommending this book to anybody unless it's published with the blatantly missing second half restored.

     2 stars (**). and that 's being overly kind, considering what a come-on grift this book is. 

       

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "MOTHER OF ALL RALLIES" EDITION.......

 Donald Trump announces a new line-up for his promised 'Rally of Rallies' concert for the 250 celebrations.....these include-

     *Pete Hegseth whipping 200 captured Iranian schoolgirls before forcing them into a mud pit for live free-for-all wrestling.

      *On an Imax, JumboTron, Jared Kushner and Ivanka take you on a tour of their private Albanian island with includes an exclusive spa dedicated to healing those selfless brave patriots, the Jan. 6 rioters.

        *Lee Greenwood sings while driving a pickup truck over human speed bumps created from Latino Abuelas serving time at ICE detainment centers.

      *In a thrilling Grand Finale, acting Attorney General Todd Blanche indicts and arrests the entire casts of Broadway musicals in mid-performance!

Joyous weekend to all BQ visitors, Hell On Earth to all Trumpanzees......see you next week!