WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP........SPECIAL "ANYBODY SEEN MITCH LATELY?" EDITION........

To BQ visitors: Have a great weekend.....see you all next week!

To Trumpanzees:  Continue to have fun at the gas pump and supermarket! You've earned it....

'METEOR'.....AIP COMES LATE TO DISASTERWORLD.....WITH MUD, SWEAT AND FEARS..........

 Meteor (1979)

        American International Pictures, that tireless purveyor of Drive-In/Grindhouse pulp throughout the 50's and 60's was winding down to the end its existence by the time it tried its own version of an all-star, special effects laden disaster movie. 

        The result?   Despite its interesting cast and worthy scientific premise, the film looked tired, cheap, repetitious and stuffed with the usual connect-the-dots tropes everyone had already seen in previous disasterpieces. 

        AIP no doubt opened up its checkbook to recruit Sean Connery, Karl Malden, Natalie Wood, Henry Fonda, Trevor Howard, Brian Keith and Martin Landau and they duly perform their lines with just enough professionalism to justify their paychecks. 

         But the studio skimped on its outer space effects so the sequences that should have been the most eye popping were a visual bore and close to laughable. 

          But let's at least credit the film with being ahead of the curve in presenting a "Giant Meteor due to crash into and destroy Earth" scenario.  19 years after this film's release, two Hollywood studios would battle each other for box office supremacy with separate 'Meteor Hits Earth' movies, "Armageddon" and "Deep Impact".

        In 'Meteor', the U.S. and Russia joint forces to eliminate the threat by synching up their separate orbiting defense satellites, each of them laden with nukes. (The nukes, of course, would normally be pointed at U.S. and Russian targets for all out war, an idea that fired up incoming President Ronald Reagan's 'Star Wars' idea.....)

         From an underground bunker adjacent to the New York subway system (don't ask) U.S. and Russian scientists (Connery, Keith) try to reposition their floating orbiting nukes at the oncoming meteor in the hopes of obliterating it.

          But meanwhile, smaller broken off pieces of the hurtling rock hit the planet, bringing on a quite effective avalanche sequence. 

          But what really sunk this film was the endless, interminable shots of the meteor and the array of space nukes, neither of which were at all visually interesting to watch.  These excruciatingly dull sequences forced composer Laurence Rosenthal into pumping them up with constant orchestral bombast that quickly becomes annoying and unintentionally funny.

         Speaking of funny, at last we come to the film's showstopper.......in which Connery and the supporting cast flee the bunker as the New York subway walls crack open, releasing a ocean of mud. The overall effect of this made us recall the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, where the audience and guests have enormous gallons of green slime dumped on them. Or what happens in the White House when Trump's diaper overloads.

     And it's a wonder Blake Edwards didn't think of this mud tsunami for Peter Sellers in the "Pink Panther" series. 

          So in no way could we ever accuse this film's cast of just taking their roles to pick up an easy paycheck. AIP really made them work for their money, which is more than they ever did for Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello in their "Beach Party" movies......

          For those who've always dreamed of seeing Sean Connery, Natalie Wood and Karl Malden swimming in brown ooze, here's your dream come true. 

         Disaster movie completists might want to give it a viewing, but we doubt they'll ever want to sit through it again. 

          Neither would we. 1 star (*).

   

          

'OBSESSION'.....A LOVESICK GUY WISHES ON A STICK.....AND POOF!...THE GIRL OF HIS SCREAMS....

 Obsession (2025)

      All hail to every filmmaker and studio head's orgasmic wet dream......to make a low, low budget horror movie that grabs the zeitgeist by the balls,(or that part Trump likes to grab) consumes pop culture conversation and most importantly.....makes serious bank, week after week after week, leaving mega-budget behemoths like 'Disclosure Day' and 'Supergirl' dying in the dust. 

        In other words....this movie says to "The Blair Witch Project"....hold my beer. 

         You may well ask......how is this accomplished?  What's the secret?  How did Curry Barker, a YouTube auteur, capture lightning-in-a-bottle and hit the horror G-spot that drove audiences wild?

           Out modest observations follow.....

            Keep It Simple

             'Obsession' presents nothing more than a be-careful-what-you-wish-for 'Twilight Zone episode stretched out to feature length, a 'Monkey's Paw' combo of sly supernaturalism and grisly consequences. 

              Lovelorn record store clerk 'Bear' (Michael Johnston) crushes on co-worker Nikki (Inde Navarrette). Desperate for her attention, he makes use of a 'One Wish Willow' novelty item; break the little stick as you make your wish and Willow makes it happen......with a vengeance. 

             Nikki's now magically in the grip of the spell and her newly found overpowering love of Bear reaches psychotically delirious heights.....and blood 'n gore soon come a-splatterin'.....some of it involving Bear's recently dead cat......

          Simple enough, right? But you need two more key ingredients to fully bake a horror film capable of sucking up a multi-million dollar box office haul.....

          Bring the crazy.....and get one hell of an MVP in your cast to do it......

           Who can ever forget an unrecognizable Amy Madigan as the evil, mad, mad Aunt Gladys in "Weapons"?  Audiences cringed and laughed at the loathsome Gladys and Hollywood showered Madigan with Best Supporting Actress awards....... 

            Well, say hello to Inde Navarrette's rampaging Nikki who in the throes of the malevolent Make A Wish Willow, turns the life of the hapless Bear into a romantic nightmare. Navarette seizes the day here, making Nikki the role of a lifetime as she proceeds to tear up the screen and scare the bejabbers out of you. 

     Nikki's mixture of pathetic need and homicidal fury sends the film spiraling into that Krazytown experience that audiences crave and she's the primary reason the film continues to pack the multiplexes all through the summer. (We fully expect instant star Navarrette to be included in next winter's awards show hoopla.....) 

        And there's the recipe for a horror blockbuster....until one day it doesn't work, because as screenwriter William Goldman wisely stated about the film business, "Nobody knows anything". 

         But it sure works for "Obsession" so check it out if you haven't already......

          4 stars (****).    

            

          

'THE SIMP'........A STRIVING ACTOR FROM INDIA.....SWIMMING AMID THE HOLLYWOOD SHARKS....

 The Simp: A Novel Without A Hero by Roshan Sethi (2026) 

     Disturbing, cringe inducing, vicious and unforgiving in its satire.......and ultimately, a sad depressing commentary on its lead character and the shark infested waters of the toxic ocean he chose to swim in.

     But once I started "The Simp", I couldn't turn away from it. Readable to the max, the book felt like I'd spent time rubbernecking a horrendous one car traffic accident happening in slow motion.

     Flawed as he is, I felt compelled to follow the calamitous journey of struggling actor from India Raj Ladlani. Raj is but one of multitudes of aspiring (and perspiring) actors trying to break into L.A.'s film and TV industry......where actors have a better chance of hitting the PowerBall Lottery than snagging even a small role. Raj tries to persevere, knowing that if ever given the opportunity, he's capable of gifted work. And he's encouraged by Anthony, his beloved mentor and acting coach.

     With the goal of a flourishing acting career more likely out of his reach than ever, Raj takes on a different kind of performative work...... ..getting hired as an administrative assistant to a married Hollywood power couple, an impossible job that's a combination of secretary and indentured slave. Raj plays the role of a groveling, simpering, always solicitous toady so well that he actually annoys and confounds his employers. Film director Jim and his wife Anna,, both working on scripts, treat Raj with a mixture of entitled contempt alternating with surprising moments of friendship and dependency.

     But through all his time spent with Jim and Anna, Raj struggles to contain the simmering anger boiling within him and the urge to break away from the 'Simp' role he's playing in real life all to0 well. And when he finally does.......the chain reaction of events becomes nothing like anyone would expect.

     Author Roshan Sethi creates a truly one-of-a-kind character in Raj, whose efforts to become the hero of his own story keep you in a state of constant wincing on his behalf. The book's cleverly set in the early post-COVID years, with film industry's oncoming embrace of diversity and representation. The knowing, witty evisceration of Hollywood power players and the pampered bubble they live is brutal......(and given their behavior and the general quality of their creative output, well deserved..)

     Fascinating from beginning to end and not kidding about its declaration as 'a novel without a hero'. But I still couldn't stop reading to the very last bittersweet moment.

      4 stars (****).

'PRETTY DEAD THINGS'....CONTESTANT BEAUTIES AND MOMS....DEEP IN THE DARK HEART OF TEXAS.....

  Pretty Dead Things by Kelsey Cox (2026)

     Nothing promises more nasty fun than a Heartland beauty pageant packed with past murderous secrets, overbearing pageant moms, teen contestant rivalries, an unsolved missing girl case, an oncoming dark 'n stormy night..........and dead bodies poppin' up here and there, just to make things interesting........

     Kelsey Cox delivers all of the above in "Pretty Dead Things"", so welcome to the Lone Star Princess Pageant of Anhalt Texas, where staying alive is the key to make it to the end of the show..

     It takes a chapter or two to sort out the moms and their contestant daughters. Pageant organizer and all around ruthless force-t0-be-reckoned with Kennedy Claire thinks daughter Sara Lynn is a shoo-in for the crown, just as Mom was 25 years ago. Melanie, still wounded from Kennedy Claire's adolescent Mean Girl bullying, has high hopes for her own daughter Hannah. Recovering alcoholic Cat worries that her daughter Olivia's chances (and life) are threatened by Kennedy Claire, The cutthroat KC wasn't above dirty tricks sabotage to assure her own win and now appears willing to do the same for Sara Lynn.

     Adding to this bubbling stew comes the return to town of Ingrid, whose beloved twin sister Isabelle was the girl who went missing just before that pageant of 25 years past. Ingrid always blamed Izzy's then boyfriend Ben, who was deeply suspected but never charged.......and wouldn't you know it.....he's back in town too, just as literal storm clouds gather around pageant night. As the saying goes......none of this stuff bodes well for anybody.

     As you could imagine, everything that transpires next makes for fast addictive reading. And for those of us who positively live for final chapters that uncork all manner of outrageous twists......you'll not go away disappointed. "Pretty Dead Things" continues the time honored tradition that no good beauty pageant should go unpunished.

     4 stars (****).

'SUPERGIRL'......A WORTHY ENOUGH SUPERGIRL STUCK IN A MOVIE UNWORTHY OF HER.....

Supergirl (2026) 

     As we always do when we're the very last blogger on Planet Earth to review a mainstream film, we'll stick to the point-by-point-basics.

        Milly Alcock as Supergirl

    We're fine with her. She did great, displayed solid acting chops and a charismatic presence we enjoyed watching. 

       And memo to those slugs who disparaged her appearance with cruel stupid memes (including washed up Superman and current tubby ICE Trumpanzee Dean Cain).....get an effin' life, will ya? You're truly a collection of sad little dateless incel souls who've spent too much time living in your parents' basements. Grow up. Try finding a real girl who'd consider spending more than 10 seconds in your company......since in your deepest heart of hearts, you know Milly Alcock is light years out of your league.....

    The visuals

    Dark, grungy, grimy, bottom-the-barrel, like the film was processed through a tub of Donald Trump's used diapers. Imagine if the entirety of 'Star Wars' took place inside the Cantina. What a rotten idea this was, no doubt created to serve the equally dark, grungy, bottom-of-the-barrel storyline.......which we're about to get to.....

    The script

     Oh sweet Lord, where do we even begin?  Vomitous chunks of Mad Max: Fury Road mixed in with a storyline swiped from 'True Grit'.  And an weird, cruel obsession with murdering entire families, shown not just once but twice. Most of it taking place on sets barely lit by the director of photography.  Speaking of story, let's move on to the most criticized aspect of the film....

   The Villain

    Fanboys found him lacking, not a big enough threat for a mega-budget comic book movie.  Oddly enough, we didn't have that big a problem with him. Considering the low bar this film already set for itself, he's a perfect minor-league creep for the minor league storyline he's a part of. 

    Krypto the superdog

    We can well understand the movie keeping this CGI pest out of the bulk of the running time by poisoning him. Cause let's be honest, the dog's funny for about 15 seconds before you're sick of him. (In that regard he's about as tolerable as one of those jabbering yellow Minions and you can see how badly summer ticket buyers reacted to them this summer....)

     The Supporting Cast

     Jason Momoa at least has fun here, wandering through the film as Lobo, some kind of intergalactic rogue biker. (And to fanboys pissed about us not mentioning Lobo's place in the DC universe....uh, do we sound like someone who gives a flying **** about the DC Universe?)

     Most thankless role goes to poor little Eve Ridley, saddled with the part of the 'True Grit' kid out for revenge. But this film's sorry script gives her none of the snappy, sassy dialogue that Kim Darby and Hailee Steinfeld were gifted with in the original 'Grit' and its remake.  Even the fake dog makes an overall better impression than Ridley.

       What we'd hoped to see in a "Supergirl" movie instead of what we got.......

        How about a brightly lit (with primary colors), exciting and funny adventure, with story that makes full witty use of Milly Alcock's whip smart timing? How about filling the film up with some soaring, inspiring action sequences with Supergirl pitted against a host of quirky villains who underestimate her?  How about a movie that makes a wide array of demographic audiences leave with a smile on their faces and actually looking forward to the next Supergirl movie?  How about a filmmaking team not interested in spending two hours inside alien dive bars lit with one 25 watt bulb and even less interested in wholesale slaughter of entire families?

     (No wonder this film has no end credits teaser attached to it.....as if Warner Brothers and DC already knew there's nobody in holy hell who wants to see a continuation of this Supergirl movie.....)

        Enough said. For Milly Alcock, 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2).

         For the film itself, 1 star (*).

        

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL "THE 4RTH IS ALL ABOUT ME!" EDITION.........

 

Happy Holiday weekend to all BQ visitors!

To Stephen Miller and all Trumpanzees:  May your life unfold like an endless visit to the Great American State Fair and the Reflecting Pool......empty, falling apart and covered in slime. Have fun!