WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL 'ME NEVER HEAR OF JEFFREY EPI-PEN OR WHATEVER YOU CALL HIM" EDITION.......

 Melania shocks us all with sudden appearance to claim her ties of Jeffrey Epstein are false.....

....and promptly attempts dissolving her marriage by racing across the Strait of Hormuz..

Nothing to do with Epstein, Melenoma?  You wouldn't lie to us, would you? Would you?

And finally.....Trump contemplates reinstating the military draft.....the same draft he himself avoided five times.....All Trump voters (kool-aid drinkers and 'But I didn't vote for this!' whiners who absolutely DID vote for this....demand your Dear Leader announce this First Official Draftee to lay his life on the line for Operation Epstein Distraction......

Sunny weekend to BQ visitors....see you next week.

'THE DRAMA'.......THE FEEL-BAD CRINGE ORDEAL OF THE YEAR....

 The Drama (2026)

     How much do we despise this movie with every fiber of our being?

       Let us count the ways.....

       Malignant, malicious, cynical and stupid in its conception.....a vomitorium using an incendiary American issue as a cheap, exploitive gimmick to goose up the box-office. 

         To hell with so-called writer-director Kristoffer Borgli, a film festival poseur who concocted this swirling stew of unbelievable characters trapped in equally noxious situations.

         Let's stop right here for a moment......

         There's no way to post a comprehensive review of this atrocity without discussing its Giant Outrageous Twist that has the entire pop culture community abuzz.

          So.....STOP HERE (SPOILER ALERT) if you prefer to see the film without knowing what it's going to spring on you.  

           Onward.....

           Handsome and too pretty-for-words Yuppies Charlie and Emma (Robert Pattinson, Zendaya) meet cute in a coffee shop. Awkwardly, of course. He pretends he read a book she's reading, at first not realizing she's deaf in one ear. 

           But she's adorable and he's a stuttering, stammering Brit puppy dog, (like a cartoony Hugh Grant), so true love takes hold and grows serious. 

           At a dinner with friends Mike and Rachel (Mamoudou Athie, Alana Heim) they play 'what's the worst thing you've ever done?' Mike and Charlie's secrets come out duly embarrassing and nasty while Rachel's ugly, cruel childhood reveal involves locking a mentally impaired young friend in a closet and abandoning him.....but she's such a self-satisfied, opinionated harpy, she's already pardoned herself for all past faults.

           Emma tops them all. As a bullied teen, she prepared to enter her school with her Army father's rifle and commit a mass shooting massacre.......but changed her mind when some other school shooter elsewhere grabbed all the headlines. 

           Her confession makes an instant implacable enemy out of Rachel, whose cousin's a school shooting survivor, now permanently wheelchair stricken. 

            And if you think matters couldn't get any worse, Charlie, a simpering whimpering spineless weakling and all-around snowflake, descends into a slow-motion nervous breakdown over Emma's admission.  All of this happens in the weeks leading up to Charlie and Emma's impending marriage. 

           Along the way to the expected cringe-worthy nuptials, the film tosses in a few other scenes and characters designed to make you sink lower in your chair and pray for the movie to end. It's the one and only talent that Kristoffer Borgli possesses - ....keeping an audience squirming in uncomfortable disbelief throughout the film's running time. 

           But here's what else we could detect about Borgli......his only thoughts about gun violence and the slaughter of innocent children in their classrooms come strictly from how much the plot twist could pump up his bottom line so he'd get lots of press and  more films to direct. 

            So nobody should mistake 'The Drama' for a serious movie or a movie with the slightest interest in dealing with the horrific issues it raises. At its foul, corrupted heart, this film's no different than the cheapie grindhouse sludge that fueled those all-night theaters that lined both sides of New York's 42nd Street. 

              That's it.....we've said more than enough about this worthless piece of steaming excrement. 

               Never was a rating easier to arrive at. An easy win of BQ's dreaded AFH Award.....

                To "The Drama"....the ABOMINATION FROM HELL rating.  Richly deserved for a film unfit for human consumption.

'HARMLESS WOMEN......THE ODDEST COUPLE EVER WHO END UP ON THE RUN T0GETHER......(****)

  Harmless Women by Rebecca Sharpe (2026)

     By the time I finished this book, I felt like taking the same deep breaths as the two women lead characters. What a long long, exhausting, treacherous, perilous odyssey these girls embark on.......with the book re-inventing itself into some new unexpected genres right along with its characters.

     I can't say all of it was swift or fast paced, but by the halfway mark, I became engrossed and utterly enthralled with Avalon and Prim's frantic adventures, especially their suspense crammed finale that dabbles with elements of tragic horror.

     The opening promises sort of a nasty, smooth criminal thriller. Avalon, master of disguises, cons and thievery has just left her latest victim Primrose drugged, physically made over and with her considerable bank account cleaned out. What Avalon didn't count on - Prim's husband already dead on the floor and Prim ending up on the run with Avalon, both fugitives from justice together.

     Sociopathic loner Avalon and sympathetic emotional Prim actively despise each other as they go on an endless hike through the English countryside, in hopes of reaching the coast....and boats. But disturbing, heart wrenching reversals-of-fortune along the way forever change the two women in ways both they (and we readers) could never imagine.

     Avalon and Prim's points-of=view are at times interrupted by the seemingly unrelated story of Bianca. She's a tragic, middle aged widow, her mind coming undone by haunted memories of an abusive husband and a beloved adult daughter who fled the house, not to be seen again. Even when these stories inevitably collide, I'd credit author Rebecca Sharpe with still managing to make it all fresh, startling.......and compulsively page turning.

     It took patience for me to stay with this book as it would slowly execute its plot lurches and character arcs from one trope to the next. But eventually it drew me fully into Prim and Avalon's tortuous trek, their small triumphs, their physical and emotional agonies and unnerving encounters with people who cross their path......where everyone's a potential threat.
    
     Since,, "Harmless Women" did finally capture me in full "I gotta know what happens next" fury, I'd decided to round up my 3.5 rating to a full 4 stars. A long but ultimately rewarding and entertaining read....perfect material for one of those 10 episode streaming series.

     4 stars (****).

'THE ESCAPE GAME'......ELIMINATION TIME IS A REAL KILLER.....(****

 The Escape Game by Marissa Meyer and Tamara Moss (2026)

     Enormous fun to be had here for fans of murder mysteries, puzzle solving, code cracking and that surefire winner......smart endearing teens up against a slew of obnoxious, criminal adults.

     Not to mention my personal favorite as someone who grows nauseous at the thought spending even 10 seconds watching reality TV, the depiction of Reality TV show producers and assorted staff as loathsome, creepy and overall moronic individuals. Put that in a book and you had me at hello......

     "The Escape Game's previous season finished up with one of its teen contestants, Alicia Angelos, murdered and found in a coffin. You'd think that would be enough for cancellation, but in a pop culture universe where high ratings and click-bait rule, the show must go on. Not only go on, but include one of last season's contestants, the victim's sister Sierra. The laser-focused, goth-outfitted Sierra, temper always at a full boil, was accused but never charged with her sister's murder; And now she'll settle for no less that winning the game and hunting down the real killer.

     So the game's afoot, Sierra leads four teammates (handsome, bookish Adi, influencer Carter, game master Beck). They're up against similar hotly competitive teams in solving their way out of a series of Escape Room challenges, each room with its own theme and densely packed with clues and codes to break..

     While I realize that for a lot of readers, the puzzle and clue solving sequences will sound like heaven on earth, those parts of the book held the least amount of interest to me. What I did love and enjoy was the time and attention authors Marissa Meyer and Tamara Moss spent to bring all these characters to life and make me care for them, root for them and fear for them when they're courting danger. I was really taken with Carter Kelly ("Kick It Carter"), a shy introverted girl employing, like the Wizard of Oz, a manic pixie exaggerated animated avatar as her public persona.

     And given my low opinion of reality shows and those who produce and create them, the miserable collection of cynical, devious corrupt and altogether odious people in charge of the game here fulfilled all my worst expectation.......(with the exception of 'Fitzy' the show's bubbly, live wire young Australian M.C., who's not much older than the contestants.)

     Along with those incredibly challenging Escape rooms, Sierra and her Scooby gang must also plow through all the hidden secrets, twists and reveals that will lead them to unmask the murderer of Sierra's sister. And I can only tell you that their climactic showdown throwdown is everything you'd expect of it......thrilling, threatening, action-packed, surprising and even, at times, weirdly funny.

     Even if I'm no great fan of puzzles, this bunch I had a good time hanging out with, and wouldn't mind seeing them all re-assemble for further adventures.

     4 stars (****).

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL 'YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! THE DOW MIGHT GO UP AGAIN!! EDITION.......

Weekend Madness bids a fond farewell to the nation's all time worst Attorney General.....oh, Pammy, how we'll miss your foam-at-the-mouth routines at Senate hearings.....

And the Madness goes on and on......

BQ visitors: Wonderful weekend to you! Always appreciate your stopping by,,,,

To 'I never dreamed he'd do THIS!' Trump voters....don't you think Trump's young larva should start helping out Dad?

'THE LONG WALK'......THE KILL OF VICTORY....AND THE AGONY OF THE FEET........

 The Long Walk (2025)

     How do we even begin to think of a rating for this movie?

       How do we review a movie where we loved the cast but hated the film that showcases them?

       Okay, fine. We accept the challenge and we'll press on......

        The film's derived from one of those largely unsung novels that Stephen King wrote under the pseudonym 'Richard Bachman'. 

         We open in that not-too-distant dystopian future. A civil war has sent the U.S. back to a 1930's Great Depression economy and terminal malaise. The military dictatorship in charge tries bucking up the national morale by inviting young men to sign up for a marathon, last-man-standing walk.

       We're not kidding about the last man standing part. The kids who falter, slow down or just plain collapse get three warnings before they're executed on the spot, their brains and blood splattering the highway. The rest of the contestants don't even dare break their stride to watch.

        Nothing like dead young guys sprawled on the road to bring a nation together, right?  No wonder this ugly, stupid bizarro premise fell to director Francis Lawrence, the shepherd of the 'Hunger Games' series.  After all, who else but this guy could convince audiences that in the future, we'll enjoy the sight of children slaughtering each other even more than 'American Idol' and the Super Bowl. 

       Sorry, Francis. Sorry Uncle Stevie. We've never been on board with far-fetched dumb-topia movies that practically require a lobotomy in order to swallow their tall tale premise. 

       And 'The Long Walk' doesn't do itself any favors throwing in Mark Hamill as 'The Major', the gargle-voiced military madman in charge of the contest.....(he's George C Scott's Patton crossed with Sterling Hayden's Gen. Jack D. Ripper and he's a ridiculous cartoon all the way through.....)

       Enough about the rotten core of the movie, instead let's talk about its beating heart.....the stellar performances by all the young men in the cast. 

        These brilliant new talents, all of them deeply committed to their roles, make the most of this opportunity given to them.  They bring tragedy, humor, humanity and pathos to their characters, holding an audience in their grip and making us agonize over their oncoming fates. 

           The young men in this extraordinary ensemble cast kept me with them from the beginning to the bloody corrosive end. It's a tribute to their gifts that they command the screen (and our riveted attention) in a film primarily devoted to them walking down lonely rural roads. 

           Let us at least take the time to salute the lead players - Cooper Hoffman (yes, the son of Philip Seymour Hoffman),  David Jonsson, Garrett Waering, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Jordan Gonzalez,  Joshua Odjick, Roman Griffin David, Noah de Mal....all of them we look forward to seeing in other films.

           We're thrilled these actors got the chance to strut their stuff even though we despised the movie they're in.....a foul, depressing exercise in fake nihilism. ( The film's climax, both unbelievable and confusing, only contributes to the overall stench of hopelessness, making us wonder why we wasted our time.....)

           For the cast, 5 stars (*****). For the concept of the movie itself....Zero Stars (0).  So between the two ratings, we'll boil it down to an overall 2 stars. (**)....which we entirely credit to the cast alone and not a smidge to the filmmakers.  

       An odd way to rate a movie, we admit, but what the hell.....that's how the film struck us. 

         

'WE KILL FOR LOVE'......THE STEAMY WORLD OF THE LONG LOST STRAIGHT-TO-VIDEO SEX THRILLER.....

We Kill For Love (2023)

      Having toiled away at buying movies for video store inventories throughout the 80's and 90's, we could hardly stay away from this documentary......

.......a long exhausting, pretentiously self-important history of the cheapo erotic thrillers that cluttered up rental shelves and late night pay-cable TV schedules.

        Yes indeedy, over the course of our buying sprees we probably stocked up on more than a few of the titles covered here. And in the landfill pile-up of hundreds upon hundreds of film clips, we don't think this doc missed a single one. 

        Many of these films, as you might guess, owed their birth to the Paul Verhoeven's 1992 earth-mover "Basic Instinct", the film that served up the combo platter of violent death and Sharon Stone's vagina to a panting America. 

         Producers, directors, writers and actors, with only a few bucks between all of them, rushed in to flood the market with fast 'n cheap knockoffs. All  you really needed was a few sets, a hot babe and a studly hunk with 6 pack abs and not many brain cells.  Sprinkle soft porn over a few dead bodies and you're got yourself an erotic whambammer that customer's will snap up when all the copies of A-list titles are out on rental......

          Titles? Completely inter changeable.....you could swap the adjectives and nouns freely... 'murderous obsession', 'lethal passion', 'heated danger', 'Obsessive Seduction', 'Fatal Arousal'..etc, etc.......

         'We Kill For Love' is determined to take you on an encyclopedic tour through every last one of them, with director Anthony Penta creating a brooding ominous aura of a private eye film noir  investigation of the genre.  We'll leave it up to individual viewers to decide if they find this construct either clever, unintentionally funny and just plain annoying.  At a tiring running time of 2 hours and 43 minutes, we'd go with the latter. 

        What's interesting to note: The sheer amount of sex thrillers in production generated its own little community of actors and filmmakers who worked exclusively in the genre and many of them are represented here, in both the clips and in live interviews. Prime among them (the wise old mentor of such films) is actor, producer Andrew Stevens (son of beloved 1960's starlet Stella Stevens.....and one of the best, most effective contributors to the documentary. 

     Apart from the silly, private eye-noir framing stuff, this is as complete, comprehensive and  intelligent a view of this long lost genre as you're ever likely to enjoy. (We can't imagine if anyone would get around to making another one.....)

       The copious amount of clips harvested from these films, identical in their cheapness and sexual monotony (hot-to-trot femme fatales and their male targets stripping down for action) may lead you believe you're watching one single epic 10 & 1/2 hour erotic thriller.......the 'Lawrence of Arabia' of soft porn cautionary tales......

       Devoted cinephiles will want to check this out, as well as retired video store customers whose hearts picked up the pace every time they rented 'Simmering Tumescence' for the 7 or 8th time. For everyone else, the film feels like a tumble through a rabbit hole to land in an odd cinema universe long gone, a world more lost than Jurassic Park......

       2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2).