CORA THE CORONAVIRUS AWARDS THE 1ST ANNUAL "CORIES".......

BQ:    Cora, it grieves us to say this, but we guess congratulations are in order for you. You've managed to kill more Americans than the Vietnam war.......

CORA:   You betcha, flesh-turd!  And I couldn't have gotten to where I am today without the help of so many wonderful people......

BQ:   Did we hear you right?  'People' you said?

CORA: Hey, it takes a village to rack up a body count like mine. That's why I've started my own awards show......to hand out these solid gold replicas of me to humans who've helped me on my climb to the top......of the corpse piles, that is.  It's the first annual 'Cory' awards!

BQ:  That sounds horrifying and soul-destroying.......

CORA:   Oh, lighten up, will ya......it won't be any more ugly or weird than "Tiger King" or any Kardashians episode.......or a Trump press conference....

BQ:   Swell. So who are the lucky winner's of the the 'Cory'?

CORA:    Our first 'Cory' goes to my favorite White House Larva........drum roll, please!  For declaring what a great success the fight against me has gone........Jared Kushner!  He couldn't be with us today, so I'll accept this on his behalf.......

BQ:   Sorry, Cora, he's probably too busy arranging peace in the Middle East....

CORA:    Moving right along......our next 'Cory' goes to this year's most outstanding ass-kissing  Trump minion who's the most help to me.......

BQ:   Wow, so many worthy candidates to choose from.....

CORA:  I know!  But this year, it was no contest. The 'Cory' goes to the world's most supremely spineless worm, Vice President Mike Pence.......for visiting the Mayo clinic without a face mask.

BQ:   Let us guess......he's not here, but you'll accept the award on his behalf.

CORA:   Right you are, flesh-oid. Now for the very special  Ensemble Cast Award......for the group of people who've paved the way for me to kill more of them!

BQ:   You're no doubt giving it to those trogs who showed up armed to the teeth to protest the
lockdowns.

CORA:   No peeking at the results, damn it!   Of course they won!  I love those guys and their guns.......wait'll they try firing 'em while they're on ventilators!  I accept this award on their behalf.

BQ:       Can we wrap this up? We've lost the will to live.......

CORA:   Here comes the most sought after award.......the 'Cory' for Best Ever Virus Enabler and All Around Worthless Human Being!

BQ:    We promise we didn't swipe the results, but we think we know who won this one.....

CORA:  Who else but the but the most stupid, most heartless, most soulless Virus Enabler I've ever had the privilege to know.......President Donald 'Baby Orange' Trump!  Let's hear it for him, folks!

BQ:  Yes, we know.......you accept on his behalf.  We think we've had enough of this. As always, Cora, no thanks for stopping by......

CORA:   Stay tuned for the after-party!  I hired Chef Wolfgang Puck to make some cute little potato puffs shaped just like me........and I breathed on every one of them.......

BQ:   Promise us you'll give Baby Orange a doggy-bag full of them........
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