'ACCION MUTANTE'.......THE UGLIES VS. THE PRETTIES.....

Accion Mutante (1993)   There's always a soft spot in our heart for outlaw cinema.......and movies don't get any more outlaw than this ripe Spanish oddity from cult director Alex de la Iglesia.......

                It's mad, mad, mad, mad mashup of sci-fi/horror nihilism......the kind of kill-everybody-for-the-hell-of-it carnival perfected by Paul Verhoven in 'Robocop' and 'Total Recall' and George Miller in all his Mad Max movies.......

                 Our 'heroes'....(and oh boy is that description stretching it) are a bunch of deformed , disabled and demented loons who wage terroristic war on rich pretty people........

                  .......in other words, they're the sworn enemies of those swells who wouldn't  give them more than a disgusted second glance before calling Security to have 'em removed from their sight.

                  To make their point, the Mutant Action members, who function as low-rent, pissed-off X-Men, strike a blow for rejected freaks everywhere by committing acts like machine gunning an ultra-toned, spandexed fitness class.....live on TV.

                    You get the idea, right?

                   For their ultimate coup, they massacre an entire uppercrust wedding party and kidnap the beautiful blonde bride, who's the heiress to a donut empire........(this would be the point where we swear we'll on the level about this...…

                    …….even the part where Boss Mutant sews the blonde's lips shut to cut down on her screaming and crying...)

                     Off our merry band goes to the Planet Axturiax, a barren rock populated by drunk, terminally horny 'Mad Max' rejects, who drool heartily at the sight of woman, since Axturiax doesn't have any.......

                    Even before they get there, the gang's mutant boss, preferring to ransom the babe off by himself, wipes out most of his own bunch, feeding some of them to his spaceship's pet monster....
.....woo-hoo!

                     The only survivor of this betrayal is one half of conjoined Siamese twins.......but you can't keep a good man down. He has his permanently attached dead brother stuffed......and since the still breathing bro nurses an unrequited crush on the smokin' hot kidnapee, he goes off in search of his double-crossing boss......

                     Does this sound crazy enough for you yet?

                     But wait!  There's more, as you knew there would be........including  the expected apocalyptic shootout at a bar frequented by all the horny, enraged, and insane Axturiaxians.....And do they all tote massive, video-game firepower such as jumbo guns with multiple barrels?

                      Do you even have to ask?  Kapooww!

                     Following the structure of all outlaw cinema, "Accion Mutante" only catches its breath when it takes time out to cast a searing, satiric eye at pop culture.....with those fake funny TV ads and newscasts so beloved by Verhoven in 'Robocop'.......

                      And you have to love an abandon-all-normalcy director who doesn't care who among his characters dies horribly......or how many.

                       So after reading this blog, you should know what you're getting into, should you decide to dip you toe into the olympic-sized pool of blood this film spills.  If you secretly ( or not so secretly) adore movie madness, it's a 4 star bash of bashes (****)

                      As for BQ, they had us at the sight of the lovesick twin lurching about with his conjoined, dead stuffed sibling. Now that's entertainment!