'BECOMING BOND' ......THIS REALLY HAPPENED TO THE OTHER FELLA......

Becoming Bond (2017)    It's one of the enduring ironies in movie history........

             .......that a glib, randy, non-actor Australian male model/car salesman talked his way in and out of playing the 20th century's most immortal cultural touchstone........Secret Agent James Bond....

                  .......and that his one and only Bond film, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"  now forever stands tall as one of the best of the long-lived franchise.......a film that's still watched, treasured and often paid homage to by top directors within their own films....... 

                       And here George is, still with us, God bless 'im, telling us the amazing, odd, often hilarious, sometimes touching story of a rambunctious up-and-down life that he led on his own terms......for better or worse......

                         The 'worse' part, of course, the pivotal decision of Lazenby's life that most people judge insane, was his walking away from a long term contract to play Bond, along with the fabulous wealth and fame that would have surely accompanied it.

                        Lazenby then bounced about through a skimpy, undistinguished movie career but ended up wealthy anyway as a real estate mogul and given the opportunity, a first class raconteur about his single collision with the world of Bond.....

                        This docu-drama gives him that opportunity.......and as the then 76 year old narrates, the film dramatizes his anecdotal road to "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", sometimes clumsily, sometimes right on the money with humor, wit and poignancy.

                         Some major flaws stick out in these mockumentary reconstructions of Lazenby's ramblings......Josh Lawson, who plays the young Lazenby, completely lacks the ultra-confident physical swagger required to make his scenes look believable,  painfully apparent when the film intercuts his footage with actual clips of the real Lazenby.

                        Sorry, but we couldn't possibly believe that Lawson's Lazenby manged to bullshit and buffalo his way past those two savvy Bond impresarios, Harry Saltzman and Albert 'Cubby Broccoli.

                         Speaking of the mighty Bond Barons, Broccoli is MIA from these dramatizations  (we're guessing from a 'cease and desist' lawsuit threat).......Saltzman, however, turns up portrayed by Jeff Garlin as a crude, growling, cartoonish Harry Cohn vulgarian.

                        A few nice surprises pop up though.......Bond girl Jane Seymour ("Live And Let Die") appears as Lazenby's agent and SNL alumnus Dana Carvey recreates Johnny Carson's stunned reaction to Lazenby's appearance on the 'Tonight Show'......when the rookie Bond renounced the role.....(today, the Internet would have dubbed it 'Bexit')

                         We don't what to make of the film's heart-tugging episodes about the One That Got Away - depicting Lazenby's star-crossed romance with a beautiful, wealthy Australian girl.(Kassandra Clementi). If you believe Lazenby's account, you may find yourself genuinely moved.......as the memories of that road not taken leave our garrulous narrator speechless and brought to tears..

                       Even casual Bond fans should find "Becoming Bond" an entertaining watch.......and for all you Bond-O-Maniacs (that includes yours truly) it's must see. 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2)