WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL 'BEAT A COP AND GET FREE CASH!' EDITION......

 

To BQ visitors:  Enjoy a safe Memorial Day weekend.

To Trumpanzees: Continue to enjoy your gas pump fill-ups and supermarket checkout receipts.....other than that, enjoy nothing. You've more than earned your miseries....

See everyone next week!

'AGATHA'......MRS. CHRISTIE FAMOUSLY DISAPPEARS, BUT A DAPPER DUSTIN IS ON THE CASE.......

 Agatha (1979)

     A charming fanciful concoction, this one.....nicely decorated with British jazz-age atmosphere and mannerisms. 

       And fueled by the offbeat pairing of two gifted unique actors whom you'd think would be voted as "least likely to end up in a romantic film together".......Dustin Hoffman and Vanessa Redgrave, both at the peak of their A-List star careers.

        The fascinating storyline takes a 'what-if' fictitious view of what became of mystery novelist Agatha Christie during her notoriously baffling 11 day disappearance in December of 1926.  Christie, then 36, never explained where she was (or why)  so the 'Agatha' script by Kathleen Tynan and Arthur Hopcraft crafts a sadly bittersweet and clever explanation.

        As brought to life by Redgrave, Christie's imminent divorce by her imperious upperclass twit husband Archie (a suitably cruel, insufferable Timothy Dalton) has left her a needy, emotionally wounded basket case. She's well aware that he plans to marry his secretary Nancy Neele.

        In the midst of this marital mess,  relentless American columnist Wally Stanton (Hoffman) was after an exclusive interview with Agatha. The quietly intense Stanton, whose clipped, staccato speech mimics that of an English gentleman himself,  knows he's stumbled on to a way bigger story than a mere Christie divorce.

        As police mount a country wide search for Agatha, much to Archie's indifference and disdain, Stanton tracks her down to a swank hotel and spa where, as it so happens, Nancy Neele has come for weight loss treatments. 

       Entranced by Christie, who's been wandering about in a distracted, otherworldly haze, Stanton gently woos her with a calculated mixture of  uppercrust manners and delicacy. Yet at the same time, it appears to him she's come to the spa with a bizarre plan to murder Nancy Neele,  a ghastly death right out of her books...or so it seems. 

       Director Michael Apted carefully maintains the reserved, stylish mood of this slightly warped fairy tale and Hoffman and Redgrave, with their seemingly opposite approaches to their characters, are an odd but diverting couple to watch together...his world famous intensity matched with her ethereal but powerfully silent expressions.

      (and it's a credit to both them that they're unafraid to risk our snickering as they dance together, with the statuesque Redgrave towering over Hoffman....)

       We liked that 'Agatha' was content to provide nothing more than a mild diversion......a bit of mystery, a bit of star-crossed romance, a bit of early 20th century British atmosphere.  And for those hoping for an Agatha Christie surprise twist to this light tale.....the film won't disappoint you there either.

       3 stars (***). 

        

        

'LORD LOVE A DUCK'.....THE 60'S TAKE A SATIRICAL BEATING....SOMETIMES THE PUNCHES LAND.......

 Lord Love A Duck (1966)

     With modern society and culture undergoing massive upheavals in the 60's, social satire began to seep into the zeitgeist. It took awhile for Hollywood and the studios to take notice of the emerging self mockery that had plenty of targets to pick from....the collapse of sexual taboos, the youth revolution, the onslaught of new technologies and the long overdue exposure of all the "powers that be" as lying jerks without a clue. 

      Writer-director George Axelrod's tongue-in-cheek credentials were already well established - screenplays for "The Manchurian Candidate", "How To Murder Your Wife", "Paris When It Sizzles", "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?", "Breakfast At Tiffany's", and "The Seven Year Itch".

        This time around, Axelrod was out skewer no less than the entire American social fabric and 'Lord Love A Duck" plays out like a 105 minute 'Saturday Night Live' episode where most of the skits either go on too long or don't land from the start. 

        It's a gasping, grasping mess of a movie, but there's one shining star that dazzles in this sea of failed spoofery.......the luminous, ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl herself, Tuesday Weld.

         Weld's bubbly, volcanically sexy high schooler jailbait became her signature role and persona throughout the 60's and to quote the James Bond song, nobody did it better. 

         As tight sweater obsessed Barbara Ann, she's found her very own mentor-devil in fellow student outcast Alan 'Mollymuck' Musgrave (played by Roddy McDowall, about 18 years too old to be playing a high school student but giving it a hell of try....)

        Like a perverse Genie to Barbara Ann's Aladdin, Mollymuck arranges, one way or another, to grant the budding Lolita-on-steroids all her wishes for popularity and fame. Along the way, the film takes potshots at beach movies, Hollywood moguls, imbecilic parents, snotty preppies, fake pious preachers, obsessive consumerism, assorted authority figures,  and in one incredible scene, pedophile educators.....(we won't even describe the moment where the drooling overwrought school Principal (Harvey Korman) almost brings himself to orgasm as Barbara Ann speaks of her glorious sweater collection).

        We'd love nothing more than to report all this stuff comes off as funny as it sounds.....some of it does, to be sure....some of it doesn't.  With the cast wildly overplaying, the film takes on the appearance of a rogue Jerry Lewis movie, where every joke and performance is delivered with a sledgehammer, just to make sure we're all 'getting it'.  We get it, George, we get it. 

         (In true American International fashion, Axelrod pads out the running time with repeated footage of bikini girls and beach boys gyratin' their hips while the pop vocals keep repeating ,' Hey, hey, hey!' Only a few seconds of it qualifies as amusing.....

         We can't say the film's a total loss (like Roger Corman's shapeless scattershot satire 'Gas-s-s-s' which we reviewed 4/29/26. Tuesday Weld, always a wonder to watch in Manic Pixie action, defies you to take your eyes off her. And every so often, George Axelrod even manages to hit one of the many 60's foibles he took aim at.  (and at some point, you can spot Ruth Gordon trying out her raspy-voiced old lady gargoyle character that served her so well in 'Rosemary's Baby')

       Somewhere in the chaos, Roddy McDowell's Mollymauk muses on Weld's Barbra Ann...."whose deepest, most heartfelt yearnings express with a kind of touching lyricism the total vulgarity of our time..."

          If only the movie had been as good expressing that vulgarity as well as Barbara Ann.....

          2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2). Nice effort, anyway....and Lord knows the 60's had it comin'.....

       

'SHAPES OF LOVE'.....A BELOVED POP STAR'S FANS DON'T REALIZE SHE ONLY DESIRES PLATONIC LOVE.....

  Shapes of Love by L.V. Penalba (2026)

      This book's quite the amazing, ambitiously entertaining achievement. It combines its full-of-heart story of a beloved music artist struggling with her public persona with the additional challenges she faces as an aroace individual........though asexual and aromantic herself, she can still need and desire all the warmth and wonders of platonic love and friendship.

     Gifted young singer-songwriter Sasha has enthralled her massive fan base as 'Sassy', the girl whom they think bases her songs, aching with hurt, on her real, star-crossed romance. They've no idea that asexual Sasha, uncomfortable with her 'Sassy' alter-ego, took her inspirations not from life, but from her favorite books, mangas, and characters.

     After crossing paths with long estranged boyfriend Kai, Sasha's high-pressured by her manager to embark on a contractual fake-dating arrangement with him. On the eve of the upcoming Grammy awards, the plan is to satisfy Sassy's fans by creating a manufactured romance with the boy who supposedly inspired her most cherished song.

     But then life gets in the way in the form of glib, devil-may-care, major TV star Asher who like Sasha, hides an entirely different personality behind his dashing bravado. The surprisingly warmhearted Sasha-Kai-Asher combination takes each of them on their own self-revelation journey........and their adoring public may be in for some shocks.

     I stand in awe of the way author L.V. Penalba brought this three people to life and at the same time, provided a expansive, perceptive insight into the world of those who identify themselves as aroace. Because when you get right down to it, Sasha's personal quest to discover what form of love and companionship best fits her feels universal to all of us.

     For a book that one might categorize as not-quite-a-romance, there's no lack of honest, genuine emotions (and yes, love) to keep you reading to see what happens next.

     4 stars (****),

'RANI DESHPANDE TAKES THE WHEEL'......AND TAKES A SLOW BUT STEADY RIGHT TURN INTO ROMANCE......

  Rani Deshpande Takes the Wheel by Arushi Avachat (2026)

     Charming and fun every step of the way......or should I say every stop sign along the way.....

     19 year old Rani felt like a lonely outcast during her college freshman year away from home. So as summer unfolds, she's transferred to a University close to home, bringing her back into the loving, but constantly overbearing embrace of her large, extended Desi family,....(aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, in-laws,, her tween twin brothers.......and Kush Khanna, that annoying, cooler-than-cool long-ago childhood crush)

     Rani's loaded up a full plate this summer before her sophomore year - an internship with a famously demanding professor, re-connecting with her best friend, helping to raise those rambunctious twins (a thankless task expected by her mother) and finally getting around to driving lessons. and at long last a license. But guess whom the family has entrusted Rani's driver's education to?

     Naturally, some sparks fly and some fenders crumple as the taciturn Kush and the say-the-first-thing-on-her-mind Rani clash during those literally bumpy driving lessons......but sooner or later , you know those sparks will start to change from angry to not-too-angry to way-less-than-angry and then to.......do I really need to explain further?

     As Rani and Kush slowly but surely move from antagonists to....uh , something else, there's plenty of family meddling and gatherings that guarantee humor, strife, heart..... and always luscious food. It turns into a summer of revelations for Rani and she travels into adulthood not expecting to find love along for the ride.

     And just in time in time for the warmer days,, author Arushi Avachat serves up this perfect beach read, or for any other time as well.

     4 stars (****).

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "I DON'T THINK ABOUT YOU SUCKERS AT THE GAS PUMPS" EDITION......

 Breaking News.....the President announces a new perk for all Americans.....send your gas receipts to the White House and you'll receive a collectible post card with an artist's depiction of the the new Trump Ballroom and Trump Arch.....and you will only be charged $49.95 on your Visa, Mastercard or American Express.....

To BQ visitors:  Happiest of weekends....see you next week!
To Trumpanzees: Received your invitation to the first dance at the Ballroom yet? No? Keep checking the mail......or better still, take a deep breath and hold it until your invite arrives......

'GRAVE WAVES'.......TWO ODDBALL TWEENS TAKE ON A NEST OF EURO-THUGS.....IN SUNNY FLORIDA AT CHRISTMAS.....

 Grave Waves by Dorian Box (Publishes Friday 5/15/26) 

   

     BQ highly recommends you do NOT leave your favorite bookstore this weekend without treating yourself to this book....of which an advanced copy was graciously provided me by NetGalley and Friction books. Allow me to explain........

     I can't remember if I've ever used the word 'Delightful' to describe a book in all my reviews.....any book.

     But author Dorian Box knows the incredible recipe to conjure up a mystery/comedy/heart-tugging concoction that can only be described as a pure delight.......the reading equivalent of a triple scoop of your favorite ice cream.

     In this third entry in the 'Danny Teakwell' series, we're back in that almost always humid beach town of Hollywood Florida, home to a host of host of unforgettable quirky characters surrounding our guy Danny. He's well known as a surfer, expert surfboard maker and appointed guardian to the most impossibly odd and adorable tween orphan imaginable. Jessica Jewell...... a girl gifted, witty and knowledgeable in the mortuary arts, having been raised in a funeral home.

     And the feisty, old-soul, wise-beyond-her-years Jessica has at last found a best friend and kindred spirit. That could only be lanky goth-girl Gigi, who can spout Shakespearian verse and encyclopedic horror movie knowledge in between her never ending craving for snacks. Together, these girls can either make you laugh out loud, fear anxiously for their safety or make you want to reach out and hug them both......... sometimes all of those things all at once.

     It's almost Christmas as Jessica and Gigi come across a, lethal little collection of European malefactors scamming and murdering some of the town's most beloved elderly widows. These vile thugs aren't kidding around. To further their master plan, they've even turned Danny's comically stupid lawyer Fink into their very own patsy and Useful Idiot And when the tweens' Nancy Drew-ish investigations drag in Danny and his new budding love interest, everybody's in serious danger.......which still doesn't slow down Jessica and Gigi's priceless, hilarious observations, quips, horror movie references and quests for food and snacks.

     As you can already figure out from this review, I loved this book, and these characters to pieces and I could go on raving about it for another hour or more.......probably because it's a joy to read a book that serves up such heaping portions of dark humor, suspense, mystery and most of all, genuine heart. I for one will count the days until Danny, Jessica and Gigi stumble into their next precarious and uproarious adventure. . 

     5 stars (*****). You couldn't ask for a more fun refreshing addition to your 'Must Reads' of the year.

'DRACULA A.D. 1972'.......DRAC DRAINS THOSE GROOVY LONDON SWINGERS......

Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) 

       The celebrated, cherished Hammer Films were on the downslide by the time this one came out.....

     The gothic, beautifully crafted period stuff wasn't working for young audiences anymore, so no wonder this film seemed like such a novel idea....

      Have some young, mod, mini-skirted, disco-dancin', Carnaby Street dig up Drac.....and face the consequences.....

       We're not saying this isn't fun to watch. It is. Christopher Lee still makes the most imposing of bloodsuckers......Hammer even lets him spit out a few words of dialogue every so often......

         But given the amazing idea of having Drac pop up in what was then modern London, it could have been so much more......more bloody, more funny, more over-the-top.......

           Don't hold your breath waiting. Doesn't happen. Despite the modern setting, the plotting's by-the-numbers dreary. Sir Christopher glowers and sucks.....literally, we mean. 

         But bonuses await........Peter Cushing's back as the great-grandson of  Van Helsing and he knows all about great-dad's tried and true vampire fighting techniques. Cushing and Lee get to go at it one more time and that sequence at least qualifies as a comfort watch.

           Ah, we musn't forget the inclusion of the fabulously well constructed Caroline Munroe who g becomes Drac's first 20th century blood bank.  Bravo to Caroline's big death scene and how she  launched a thousand erections in teen boys everywhere......

         We'll also throw in a brief mention of  Christopher Neame as Drac's unctuous creepy minion who looks he got recently kicked out the "Clockwork Orange " gang for being even too snotty for Alex and the droogs. And give us a break on his name.....Johnny Alucard? Really?  Great death scene though, where he endures almost every form of decimation devised in the how-to-kill-a-vampire guidebook.....including a cold shower. 

         Merely okay, but boy oh boy did this have potential never realized. Disco Drac?  Why not? Drac runs into Lulu and the gang from "To Sir With Love"?  See what we mean......endless possibilities.

           After modernity didn't work, Hammer went the sex 'n boobs route to juice up the offerings, but horror was entering the beginning of new nastier age and left the studio in the dust....along with its naked starlets.....

          Hammer homeys won't want to miss it, but for everyone else......sorry, nothing special to see here....

             2 stars (**).

'THE ANNIVERSARY'.....TWO HURT SOULS, A YEARLY SERIAL KILLER.....AND TWISTS AND TURNS GALORE.....

The Anniversary by Alex Finlay (2026) 

     Now here's the kind of book that all mystery/suspense thriller readers hope and pray for. A book that grips you from page one, keeps you turning the pages furiously and makes you resent any mundane everyday tasks (like sleeping and eating) that force you to temporarily put the book down.

     From the start, we're invested in and intrigued by two high school opposites - most popular, most beautiful Jules and loner outcast wrong-side-of-the tracks Quinn. The night of May 1st changes the course of their lives for years to come. Jules becomes one of the rare survivors of the 'May Day Killer' now among the few young girls the serial killer decided, for whatever reasons, to let live. Quinn, jailed for assault in a fight he didn't start, is inducted into the Army. There he encounters nothing but combat violence and tragedy as well as having to return home to attend the funeral of his mother, a murder victim. Jules, now forever haunted by that horrific May 1st memory, leads a lucrative but not very fulfilling life as a well paid fashion model.

     Jules and Quinn's parallel lives finally begin to intersect when they've returned home, each bearing their own troubled memories. Jules' younger sister has gone missing, maybe the latest May 1st abductee. And Jules and some of her fellow 'May Day' killer survivors stay safely (they can only hope) under the FBI's surveillance and protection in case the 'Mayday' maniac returns to finish what he started.

    Quinn, now a dogged Private Investigator, pursues the abandoned cold case of a missing child as well the mysteries surrounding the death of his mother....for which a possibly innocent man currently stands convicted and jailed for the crime.  

     Author Alex Finlay surely knows his way around telling a story like this, and as a result, he'll put you in a "just-one-more-chapter' reading addiction until you reach those infinitely satisfying final pages. The startling twists more than accomplish their job of leaving you gaping in surprise while you're worrying like crazy over Jules 'and Quinn's ultimate fates.....and possible future.

     Easily one of this year's best thriller reads, and along with the 5 stars,(*****) I can't think of any higher recommendations .

'THE LAST MANDARIN'....AN ESTRANGED MOTHER AND DAUGHTER VS. A HIGH-TECH GLOBAL CABAL....

 The Last Mandarin by Louise Penny and Melissa Fung (2026)

     A global thriller that pits superpowers against each other as a third unknown entity threatens to end the world? Oh yes, please.....sign me up.

     And on top of all that.....a global thriller that takes an utterly bonkers, thrill-a-minute detour into Indiana Jones territory? Complete with a wondrous archeological cave-scape overloaded with deadly booby traps? Light that torch and count me in......

     Granted, all of the above elements thrown into the pot by authors Louise Penny and Melissa Fung don't blend together easily. But the pace never lags, the mother-daughter lead characters are fascinating in their generational and culture clashes, and that 'Art-of-War' backstabbing between the Chinese and American power brokers has that breathless Tom Clancy feel to it

     Either a rogue terrorist group or an actual superpower nation have come up with with technology to inflict sudden, worldwide catastrophes capable of killing millions within minutes. Blaming China, the U.S. President turns to internationally celebrated Chinese dissident Vivian Li, a Tiananmen survivor with deep roots in her original homeland. And Li's estranged, raised-in-America daughter Alice has come along for the ride, since the mysterious death of Alice's dear friend relates to the calamitous events now befalling the world.

     While the powers-that-be in Beijing and Washington (some of whom may not be what they appear) struggle to avert World War 3, Vivian and Alice are off and running to pierce the very heart of this unknown cabal of conspirators. Though these terrorists wield unlimited high tech, they didn't count on Alice, of all people, becoming a cross between Nancy Drew and Indy you-know-who.

     I found very little of this even remotely plausible, but that didn't stop me from happily wallowing in all the high stakes diplomacy and thrill ride moments packed into the book. And even amid the constant life-threatening derring-do, authors Penny and Fung take the time to expertly insert ancient and recent Chinese history into their story and into the fierce passions of their characters.

     For anyone (like me) who simply cannot resist a countdown-to-world's-end, day-the-hotline-got-hot nailbiter, here's your steeping cup of tea waiting for you..

       4 stars (****).

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.........SPECIAL 'IRAN LOVE TAP' EDITION.......

 Parents discover the peril of letting a stranger suspected of pedophilia and other random violence talk to their kids in public  places.......as good an example of the charge 'Child Endangerment' as they've ever witnessed......

Moving on to even more madness......

Trump refers to strikes on Iran as a 'Love Tap'...Iran describes the strikes as 'unwanted heavy petting'....

In Supreme Court news, Justice Clarence Thomas reveals his favorite movie character of all time....Samuel L. Jackson's house slave Stephen from 'Django Unchained'.......("I just love that Stephen, I could watch him abuse black people forever and what a role model he's been for me in my decision making.....")

And the madness rages on......

And as always, let's never forget.....

Great weekend to BQ visitors.....

To Trumpanzee voters experiencing 'buyer's remorse:  Guess whom Trump and Republicans want to fork up a couple more billion for the Great Big Beautiful Ballroom?

Figure it out yet?  Hint:   it's YOU, dummies.  If you expect a personal invitation to the Ballroom's first big event, don't forget to take a deep breath and hold it until you get one......