LAUGHLIN ON THE INSIDE, CRYIN' ON THE OUTSIDE!...........BQ DOES THE VARSITY DRAG........

                The College Admission Scam..... Holy Matriculation!   We haven't rolled our eyes in this sheer amount of disgust since we got our very own SAT scores......

                   .........back in the day when they arrived carved into stone tablets, dropped by Pterodactyl.......

                      So wealthy celebs like Felicity Huffman and Lori Laughlin laid out big smackeroos to grease the tracks on their kids' road to college........so thereby some financially strapped, scholastically talented students ended up denied their chance to enter top schools.........

                    In their place, the gates of Academe were flung wide open for the likes of Laughlin's daughter Olivia Jade........a brainless, worthless Kardashian wanna-be, scooping up corporate cash for pimping lip gloss on YouTube.......

                     Watching this stuff unfold, it reminded us of those satisfying conclusions to bad teenage comedies of the 1980's.........the ones where the rich kids and their parents end up arrested or suitably destroyed......(a girder falls on their Porsche or some similar comeuppance.......)

                     But we love that there's always plenty of second and third acts in American lives.......redemption's always in the air.......

                    We look forward to Laughlin starting a college scholarship fund for needy applicants with her "Full House" residual payments.......

                    And as for Olivia Jade.......we can't wait to see her next, eventual encounter with corporate behemoths on YouTube.........shaking the basket of French Fries at her late night shift at McDonald's........

                       Make sure they're golden brown, kiddo......or we'll send 'em back.......