'CALTIKI, THE IMMORTAL MONSTER'...........THE BLOB, ITALIAN STYLE

Caltiki, The Immortal Monster (1959)    Protoplasm run amuck!

                Oh sweet jello, we can never get enough.........classic cinema's fine 'n dandy, but nothing beats a large plate of oozing goo, itchin' to gobble people up like butter popcorn........

                 Give us more, more!  And pour on that disgusting slime til it's slurping through the windows of some poor sucker's house.......

                 Here in the U.S.A. low budget filmmakers relied on chemistry to create our very own homegrown oozy-doozy,  1958's "The Blob".......a compact little mess of silicone, dyed deep red, like a big fat M & M.......

                 (And he lives, still......in some guy's bucket. We met 'em at Blobfest.......both the Blob in his bucket condo and the guy who owns him......)

                  Leave it to the Italians to go classical Old School with their slimeball Caltiki.........
......the Cal-inator, Cal-O-Rama, the Cal-boy........it's a huge, steaming pile of tripe.

                  No, we don't mean the movie itself......

                Caltiki,  that globular, galloping glop of burnin' love, he's tripe personified.

                 We mean......actual tripe. Yowza!

                 And he means business, having already wiped out the entire Mayan civilization.......(we previously believed the Mayans all disappeared when they piled on to the very first Carnivale Cruise ship.......never to be seen again....)

                 Some foolhardy archaeologists (are there any other kind in movies?) wake up the Big Cal and before they can all scream 'Mama Mia, what a shitload of tripe!', they're on the menu.......(we love that cool shot of one victim who's somehow still breathing  after he's been dissolved down to his teeth and eyeballs.... Dude, you've been Caltiki'd !)

                  You must have all guessed by now how much the BQ LOVES THIS FRICKIN' MOVIE........so no surprise for the 4 star rating (****).

                    How could anyone in their right mind.....(uh...wait, maybe that's not the right phrase applied to us).....how could anyone unsound of mind resist a movie whose poster promises.........
....."Death Dance Of The Voodoo'd Virgin!'  (we thought that was the tagline for the new season of "The Bachelor".....and 'Whole Cities Swallowed Up By Gruesome Mile High Glob!'.....(sounds like a documentary on the building of a Trump Tower....)

                    Caltiki, we love your Tripe-y little self to pieces. Come back to us soon in a remake.....maybe this time made of kale  (way more frightening).