"DAMSEL"...........SUNDANCE BOTTOM-FEEDING

Damsel (2018)    In the immortal words of Will Smith........Aw HELL no.......

             If we didn't know better, we'd swear the legends-in-their-own-minds, film festival fakers who slapped this together made it just to piss us off..........having read all our posts about poseur filmmakers who pollute all the festivals with their grindingly awful movies, made strictly for the "ooo"s and "ahhhh"s of cinema culture-vultures who haunt such venues.

               "Damsel" is so studied in the egotism and self-satisfaction of its makers........we almost started to believe that maybe it was some kind of sly meta spoof of film festival movies........(but no, the film's dead serious in its fussy artistry.....0

                 The perps here are the Zellner brothers, who worked themselves into delusions of adequacy by watching Coen Brothers movies over and over again........

                 Imagine, if you will, the worst, most pathetic imitation of a Coen Brothers film......only slowed down to the pace of a still photograph.......

                As your eyes and mind wander through what appears to be a 'hip' and 'woke' western, you can practically hear the Zellners cackling and high-fiving each other at their gasping, futile attempts at wit and 'up-to-date' humor.........

                  Oh those clever boys.........sprinkling their 19th Century extended anecdote with anachronistic, 21st century blather......"it's a win-win situation"......"this is my personal boundry"......blah, blah, blah......

                  The odious pretensions of this film reek so badly, we fought our urge to throw tomatoes at the screen.  The punishing effect resembles watching a 1 hour and 50 minute improv sketch where all the actors perform still under sedation from their wisdom tooth extractions.

                   We won't smear the worthy actors who wander through this wreck by mentioning their names. They'll all go on to better things......except the Zellners, who also cling to the delusion that they can act.....yeh right. Triple-threats.......in reverse.

                    No trouble whatsoever rating this.......a monumental AFH......Abomination From Hell..........any copies of this should be melted down into something more useful, like potato-chip bag holders....