Tuesday, June 30, 2020

'TERMINATOR DARK FATE'.........COME WITH US IF YOU WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT THIS MOVIE......



Terminator: Dark Fate Poster

Terminator Dark Fate (2019   
Here are the fundamental questions we pondered while watching this......

                   Why does this movie exist?

                    Who thought this movie was a good idea?  

                    Why would hundreds of millions of dollars and who knows how much time and technical expertise be spent on this?  Who believed in this movie that much in order to waste the time creating it?

                      We recall these imponderables floating through our head a few weeks ago as we endured Disney's 'Artemus Fowl'........and years ago, when we suffered through those two alternate-universe 'Amazing Spiderman' movies with Andrew Garfield........

                       Being innocent and naive at heart, we'd rather not believe that James Cameron trashed the mythology of his two classic 'Terminator' movies just so he could milk more cash out of rabid, Comic-Con refugee fanboys. Seriously, how much more money does this guy need?

                       We refuse to dignify or legitimize this movie by discussing its plot or characters in any detail.

Gabriel Luna in Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

                       Take our word for it........it's 2 excruciating hours of CGI garbage.......like a glum, stupid Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoon with live actors. Or at least they're live some of the time. 

                        We apologize to Warner Brothers for slandering Road Runner cartoons by comparing them to this movie. The cartoons are funnier, better written and any one of them is infinitely more watchable than 'Terminator Dark Fate'.......

                         No more precious time should be wasted on this........an AFH, Abomination From Hell.

                         And we'll also bestow a  new additional rating,.....the first film awarded with BQ's
N.R.T.E. rating.....(the 'Nerty'_)

                          ......which stands for.....(drum roll) No Reason To Exist.  Our deepest congratulations to the filmmakers for more than earning this coveted award.

                         'Nerty' recipients will receive a boxed set of Steven Seagal direct-to-video movies and a free pass to the Republican Convention in Jacksonville, Florida.  

                         Have a ball there, guys......you so deserve it.

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