I'M BAAA-AAAA-AAAACK! WELCOME TO SEPTEMBER, BQ'ERS......AND ROM-COM HELL.....

The Competition (2018)   Hope you all had a wonderful summer.........which our rapidly melting, overheated Mother Earth kicked off, as usual, with super-dooper Cat 5 hurricane.........(something Baby Orange never heard of or experienced.....much like rational thought....and truth...)

              So now we're stuck in BQ's least favorite month, September......meaning our beloved summer flew by too fast.....and hot weather drags on while the Halloween costume shops open a month too early......

               Might as well kick off the month with a bona fide atrocity.......a rock-bottom romcom that has no earthly reason for existing on any level.

                Who thought this movie was a good idea and committed money to it?  We need a Congressional investigation to look into this immediately......

                  The romantic leads? Sheesh.......what a woeful pair. 90's leftovers Chris Klein and Thora Birch star as the would-be lovebirds and their chemistry's not only non-existent, it's downright toxic.

                   Klein plays a lawyer as if he's auditioning to become a game show host.......and Birch looks like she escaped from rehab.......I can't remember when I've ever seen a romcom actress more unflatteringly dressed, coiffed and photographed.

                    Birch runs a "Men are pigs" blog and Klein's tasked with getting her to shut it down......please,please don't ask me to explain this in gruesome detail.....it's too painful.

                 The astoundingly awful script then them making a bet as to how many of their friends they can trick into infidelity.......and I wouldn't even try to make that idiotic turn of plot sound coherent.

                   Trust me, the make believe 'filmmakers' who slapped this sludge together don't try either//////

                  Pacing?  Unheard of by this bunch. The movie lies there like a beached whale. A dead one. At one point, Birch and her character's sister lumber through 15 minutes of plot exposition while wearing spa mud masks.......(bet that made the other actors jealous, since they probably wished they could have done their entire roles in mud masks to insure anonymity......

                  Welcome to our first review to start off our most hated month.......and more than fitting........the A.F.H., our lowest-of-the-low rating..........a purely unfit for human consumption
ABOMINATION FROM HELL!!

                   One good thing.......as much as we despise September, we've to nowhere to to but up from here........