We all know by now the things that Hallmark's obsessed with as they crank out these movies like....um.....Easter Peeps......
..........heavily sugared confections (chocolate, cakes, donuts, pies)........corporate machinations in spiffy, high-rise office buildings........and most of all, the BIG DECEPTION!!!!!!!
The BIG DECEPTION, ripped off from the Doris Day-Rock Hudson comedies, involves one of the romantic partners spending 75 per cent of the movie masquerading as someone else......much to the ultimate chagrin and humiliation of the deception's target/victim - the other romantic partner.........
So this one involves a chocolate company's marketing director (and daughter of the CEO) going undercover on the assembly line of one the firm's factories in Iowa..........where, inevitably, she bonds with the factory's hunky head Chocolateer...........and widowed dad to a precious little girl......
A word about the child.........it's clear that Hallmark filmmakers work under strict orders to fantasize children........these kids are not of this earth.......they're more like the cartoon bunnies, birds and rabbits that follow behind Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.....
With mathematical precision, Hunky Choco Guy discovers Perky Marketing Gal's deception exactly 1 hour and 43 minutes into the film........(these tropes are as rigidly enforced as Kabuki Theater)......
He pouts for another 12 minutes or so before the expected kiss at the 1 hour and 58 minute mark........our Hallmarkers have not only discovered chaste, tongue-less snogging, they've created a chocolate Easter Egg similar in size to the chestburster eggs in the "Alien" franchise......
All ends well........the complete opposite of Forrest Gump's box-of-chocolates.......
Cause in the Hallmark Universe, you always know what you're gonna get.......
3 stars (***) for Hallmark obsessed fans..........everyone else.....be afraid.
Happy Easter!
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