WEEPING CUTIES..........BQ TAKES THE SOBWAY TO CRY OVER "FIVE FEET APART"

Five Feet Apart (2019)     As you might imagine, Beached Quill was dragged kicking and screaming into this movie by the BD (Beloved Daughter) who lives and breathes for doomed teen romances......

             Not cancer this time, but Cystic Fibrosis serves as the designated disease that terribly afflicts our lovebirds......Will (Cole Sprouse) a snarky, sarcastic rule-breaker and Stella (Haley Lu Richardson) an OCD control freak who manages the complexities of her treatment with meticulous care......

              Complete opposites, how could these two kids possibly fall in love?

              For anyone with the slightest experience with these dying-kids-find-each-other films and books, you'll know that last question was a joke......

               I really don't know any other way to judge these films other than by the Weep Factor........measuring their effectiveness by the amount of tears and sobs they're able to wring from an audience........

               Applying that scale to the showing that BD and I attended, I'd say "Five Feet Apart" hit about a 9 on the Weep-O-Meter........(this isn't as easy as you think, since it requires utmost attentiveness to the amount of sniffles, sighs and barely audible stifled whimpers going on around you....)

                 Richardson and Sprouse give it their very best.........by ten minutes into the film, they've convinced viewers that they're just too damned adorable to die.........(at least not on camera...)

                The film itself? Okay, I suppose..........except for a sequence remarkable in its suspenseful sadism on the part of the filmmakers........putting our two lovable sickies on a frozen pond of thin ice.

You can practically hear the director cackling with pull-the-wings-off-of-flies glee as he lets this scene drag on forever..........teasing the moment when you know in your heart these poor kids will end up glub-glub-glubbing in the cold, cold water,,,,,,,,

                  BQ memo to director regarding this scene:   Really?  Do us all a favor, go jump in your own lake......

                  Nothing more to say here.........like Beloved Daughter, you either love movies like this with every fiber of your being, or you should run screaming at the very sight of the poster........so on behalf of BD, 3  sobbin' stars (***)......but keep in mind, that rating's strictly for fans of soon-to-drop-dead-sweethearts movies............everyone else, stay more five feet apart from it........about 20 miles oughta do it.........