DEPT. OF "HUH? SAY WHAT NOW?".....BQ STAMPS OUT "NO POSTAGE NECESSARY"

No Postage Necessary (2017)    Hoo boy........another fine mess to clean up........

                  There's two or three plotlines going on here that, individually, might have made separate, interesting films........

                   .........as long as none of them were written or directed by the boobs who mashed all these stories into this sorry thing.....

                    First plot:   Unlikable young cyber-hacker ekes out a living while the Feds have him on Double Secret Probation........(this includes employment in a custard shack shaped like an ice cream cone..)  The vaguely creepy sad sack supplements his income by masquerading as a postal worker to swipe mail that might hold cash gifts........nice. Plus, he's being blackmailed by a rogue FBI agent who wants him to retrieve stolen Bitcoins off the internet...

                     Second plot:   The Cyber-Shmuck Mail Thief stumbles upon heartbreaking letters written by a grieving war widow to her dead Marine husband.......addressed to the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier........

                       Third plot:   While Cyber-Putz strikes up a relationship with sweet pretty Pretty War Widow, in the hopes that 'KNOWING YOU MAKES ME A BETTER MAN', he discovers Rogue FBI Guy is himself the Bitcoin thief......

                     It would take a skilled, talented director to blend any of this stuff into one movie.........but the guy behind this can't chew gum and direct and the same time.  Making any of these plot threads even remotely convincing is as far out of his skill set as Earth is the moons of Jupiter.........

                     So as a thriller, a comedy, a romance and whatever else it tried for, the film stays crushingly bad from beginning to end.

                      An utter waste of time. Zero stars (0).