STUCK WITH 'WONDERSTRUCK'.....HOW TO KILL 'EM AT THE FESTIVALS AND PUT EVERYONE ELSE TO SLEEP........

Wonderstruck (2017)    We could not give one rat's ass for how visually exquisite this film may appear to culture-vulture critics........

               What we have here is a prime example of that unholy genre that is the nemesis of all cinema......the kind of movie which we hold forever in undying loathing and contempt.......

                The Awards-Suck-Up movie........the "shower-me-with-praise-for-my-stunningly-crafted-visuals-and-deep-insight-into-the-human-condition" movie.......

                 The problem, always........these movies aren't designed for human consumption.....and the people making them haven't the slightest interest in connecting in any audience whatsoever......

                 Except one group of people.

                 Film festival juries.

                 Oh my, how directors of Awards-Suck-Up movies so dearly love the little statuettes they collect at Film Festivals.......the silver rutabaga, the golden celery stalk, the platinum platypus     or whatever name the hardware goes by....

               And woe to any poor movie ticket-buyer who unwisely attempts to sit through one of these films.......seduced by the glowing reviews from  wine -n cheese sated critics who watched it in a plush screening room, gift baskets by their side....

                Per our policy, we'll not eat up precious time discussing plot particulars of "Wonderstruck"........other than to say it has all the vile earmarks of a Suck-Up movie.......a pace slightly slower than an oil painting......and as always, a crushing aura of self-congratulation......

               Once upon a time, we use to give movies like this a certain amount of stars for the craftsmanship displayed........

                No more. Forget it. Life is too short to endure the phoniness of these films......

                No more Mr.Nice BQ.........AFB.....an ABOMINATION FROM HELL.......from this point on, they know where they can stick their Silver Rutabaga.........