Heart Of Stone (Netflix 2023) There's something soul sucking and depressing about viewing one of Netflix's bloated, expensive fake action-adventure blockbusters.......
This latest one is so generic, so cobbled together, Frankenstein-style, from popular, similar films, it appears untouched by human hands.......it not only sounds written by Artificial Intelligence, if plays as if the A.I. actually directed the film by texting its instructions to the actors' cell phones.......
I'm beginning to think that "The Entity", the evil A.I. from Tom Cruise's "Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning, Part One" is for real.........and under contract to Netflix.
The streamer's go-to gal for such films.....who else but our gal Gal...(Gadot, that is). Not much acting range, but still an incomparable Amazonian stunner......and well versed in convincingly kicking people's asses to Kingdom Come and back.
In this one, Gal's working for some hidden global peacekeepers so super-dooper top secret, they've embedded her within an MI6 team who don't know who she's really working for.
The global gang depends heavily on 'The Heart', their all powerful A.I. capable of controlling....well, every damn thing. But wouldn't ya know it......a surprise rogue agent and a super-dooper hacker upend the world order by trying to seize the Heart for their very own For all I know, they plan to use it for free Uber rides and Disney World Premium passes.
But hey....not on Gal's watch! Cue the perpetual parade of car chases, punch-outs, and assorted CGI assisted stunts that skip over all those annoying little details like laws of gravity and physics......
While all this transpires...(or perspires....or expires, depending on your point of view), you can have fun spotting all the other movies that 'Heart Of Stone' was assembled from by Netflix's own version of The Heart........(as in, "Wait, wasn't that from (FILL IN THE BLANK)..."are you kidding me? They ripped that off from (FILL IN THE BLANK)
If this kind of pre-packaged sausage still amuses you, than by all means, switch off your brain, pop up a tub 'o buttered popcorn and have at it. On that basis, it's a 3 star (***) Guilty Pleasure wallow.....
But if you're among those who are starting to find these machine-tooled, mechanical, largely inhuman corporate movies more than a little bit weird and frightening.....proceed only dressed in Hazmat gear....Zero stars (0).
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