'ISHTAR'.....BEATTY AND HOFFMAN BRING PEACE TO THE MIDDLE EAST....AND GET A RECORD DEAL....

 Ishtar (1987)......still maintains its standing and reputation as the most underrated, unappreciated and most unfairly maligned big budget comedy in Hollywood history. 

               Like many of the films that Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman chose to star in, "Ishtar" suffered through a chaotic production history, riddled with constant creative clashes.....especially between Beatty and director Elaine May, famous early in her career for her improv comedy routines with director Mike Nichols as her partner. 

               With its two major superstars, the movie was always destined to become an expensive proposition, an attempt to make a modern, updated version of a typical Bob Hope-Bing Crosby "road" movie....in other word, two American idiots abroad, stumbling into misadventures while stranded in exotic, foreign lands.....

              "Ishtar"  involved the two stars playing hapless, clueless no-talent amateur songwriters. Desperate, unemployed and forsaken by the women in their life (Tess Harper, Carol Kane), the boys accept a nightclub gig in Morocco.....(arranged for them by their elderly, barely interested agent (Jack Weston).)

                Once in North Africa, the two dopes find themselves used as pawns in the lethal power struggle between the brutal authoritarian Emir and the opposing leftist rebels, whose most visible operative is the mysterious, beautiful Shira Assel (Isabelle Adjani). 

               Making matters even more complicated, a smoothly duplicitous CIA agent (Charles Grodin)  also make use of the un-dynamic duo as easily dispensible chess pieces to fulfill the USA's own hidden agenda. 

              All these plot complications serve to leave Beatty and Hoffman stranded in the desert....(with a blind camel, but that's another story) Meanwhile every possible faction involved in the entire Middle East (including our own CIA) is out to kill them for one reason or another. 

             Never ones to give up, the boys stagger half dead through the desert, still coming up with fractured lyrics for their embarrassingly terrible songs....

             Breaking news......if any of this sounds like it might make you laugh......it does.  . 

              Decades before the avalanche of social media, "Ishtar" still managed to accumulate a literal ton of toxic advance press, with the film judged as a bloated colossal failure..........and this all happened before any ticket buyers ever laid eyes on a single frame of film. 

              And that's a damn shame......

              Because the honest truth about 'Ishtar' got lost in the process......that the FILM IS DAMN FUNNY ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!!

               Yes, you heard me correctly.

                The film's hilarious from start to finish,,,,,,with the legendary stars displaying superb timing as a comedy team. (I only wish the film had made more of one of its funniest ideas - making Beatty's character a terrible shy failure with women.)   And you just may fall in love with the deliberately dumb songs of their cabaret act, (actually written for the film with dry deadpan awfulness by singer songwriter Paul Williams)

                BQ's strong advice here.......whether or not you're familiar with the mountains of critical publicity this film received, IGNORE THAT CRAP TOTALLY. 

                Simply sit back an enjoy "Ishtar" for what it is.......an very enjoyable silly good time. 4 stars (*****).

              

'THE RAZOR'S EDGE' (1984).....MURRAY'S VANITY EPIC, UNDONE BY HIS SMIRKS......

 The Razor's Edge (1984)....fulfilled that old adage - that deep down, every clown dreams of playing Hamlet....

              Bill Murray, already firmly established as a movie comedy superstar, finally made his own dream come true with this ambitious, epic new version of the W. Somerset Maugham novel (last filmed in 1946 with Tyrone Power).

             For agreeing to star in Columbia Studios' "Ghostbusters", he exacted "The Razor's Edge" as part of the deal, affording him the opportunity of taking on his first major dramatic role. 

             And what a role indeed. Larry Darrell, born into the wealthy society class of suburban Chicago in the early 20th century.  Destined for a privileged life with his adorable fiance Isabel (Catherine Hicks), he first seeks out adventure as an ambulance driver amid the bloody battlefields of World War I. 

              But his first hand experience with the horrors of war changes Larry forever. Troubled and restless, he forsakes his pre-ordained future to wander about the world in search of the meaning of life, and some measure of peace for his now wounded soul. 

              To nobody's great surprise, the resulting movie, expensive to make and handsomely mounted, opened as a dead-on-arrival, colossal flop. 

              To my surprise, watching this film again, 39 years after its release..........it's not so bad. In fact, much of it, in its performances and sequences is pretty damn good, even approaching excellence. 

              The fatal flaw?  A gaping hole in the serious miscasting of its lead character,  I know Bill Murray wanted the very best for the film and it truly looks and sounds like a sweeping epic in every frame.  But he did neither himself nor the film any favors by starring in it. 

              His only way into the role was to present himself as a slightly more toned down version of his own comic persona, all too familiar. Apparently afraid that audiences wouldn't fully accept him in a straight-ahead dramatic portrayal, his Larry Darrell is still Bill.  He uses his familiar flat deadpan expression to make us think Larry's having deep thoughts........but at every chance given him, he breaks out with some of his ironic one line zingers, as if he's suddenly in a Saturday Night Live skit. 

               But the movie that surrounds this odd, empty misguided performance still remains worth watching. And I'll tell you why........

               First, the supporting cast. There's some wonderful work to savor here.....Denholm Elliot as a sardonic expatriate aristocrat, veteran Brit character actor Peter Vaughan as a surprisingly literate coal miner, Bill's big brother Brian Doyle-Murray as a war hardened Ambulance driver  And most of all, in a stunning award worthy performance, Theresa Russell as one of Larry's young society friends he grew up with.  In the film's third act, Russell commands the screen and breaks your heart as her character, having suffered a gut-wrenching tragedy, spirals into self destruction. 

               And second, composer Jack Nitzsche's grand, symphonic, achingly romantic score, a throwback to those powerful swelling themes of Max Steiner, Alfred Newman and Bernard Herrmann. Perhaps it's overused a little too much throughout the film, but it's such glorious retro classic cinema ear candy, it has to work overtime to make up the for gap left by Bill Murray's facile, indifferent acting.  With his music, it's clear that Nitzsche knew what kind of film this was supposed to be far better than its star.   

              Watchable? Worth a viewing? BQ says yes and yes.....if for no other reason than you'll rarely see such an expansive, heartfelt film like this among our current crop of superhero sludge, horror movies and arthouse snoozes. 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2)

               

'THE WRATH OF BECKY'....THE TEEN TERMINATRIX TAKES ON TRUMP'S TERRORISTS......

 

The Wrath Of Becky (2023)    Yes....she's baaaaaaaacccckkkkkk!!

          The petite raging adolescent, whom we last saw churning up Aryan Brotherhood escaped convicts into mincemeat, is back in action.....

           And a whole new set of neo Nazi assholes, who've pissed her off to the max, now face........well, the title explains it all. 

           In her previous outing in in 'Becky' (2020) (see BQ post of 8/24/23). we met  the unhappy 13 year old (Lulu Wilson), still grieving over her mother's cancer death and resentful of her widowed dad (Joel McHale) finding a new girlfriend. And more misery followed when the home invading goons murdered dad in pursuit of a hidden key in their remote vacation house. 

           Revealing bottomless fury and a sadist's love of of eviscerating enemies, Becky laid waste to the scumsuckers who left her an orphan......and destined to spend the the rest of her childhood bouncing from one foster home to another. But several years later after the first film's bloodbath,  fortune finally smiles on the tormented teen when she find herself in the home of a gentle hearted, elderly black retiree (Denise Burse).

           Not for long,  though. While waitressing in a diner, the take-no-prisoners Becky runs afoul of three members of the "Noble Men" They're a gun toting band of  white supremist dorks just waiting for the word(presumably from Trump) to overthrow the U.S. government and once again make the country safe for involuntary celibate white guys....... 

             In other words......a thinly fictionalized version of Donald Trump's very own Proud Boys and Oath Keepers, weak minded minions still living in their parents' basements and fantasizing about goals beyond their limited skills......like ever getting a date or having sex with a girl......(which they can only substitute by stroking the barrels of their AR-15s.....or themselves. 

             Tracking Becky down to the old lady's house, an odious trio of three ignoble men execute the poor woman and steal Becky's beloved dog......very bad moves on their part, as well we know from the first film.........

             The Beck-inator finds them at their home base, the expansive cabin owned by their Commanding Asshole (Sean William Scott).......who's about to launch a public assassination of their prime target, a latino congresswoman.......

                To which we can only say......fat chance. numbnuts.....

                Let the carnage commence!    (Which I'll not describe in detail for fear of spoiling all the fun of watching a movie like this in the first place.

                 And now we've come to the point where you've easily figured out whether this movie's enthusiastic deployment of Grindhouse gore had you at 'hello' or not....

                Personally, the BQ can never get enough films that feature brain-dead Trumpanzees suffering the most entrail spewing deaths imaginable......

                  And who better to dole out their just desserts than a heavily armed, cute teenage girl? 

                 You had BQ at hello. 3 stars (***).

               

             

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP....SPECIAL "NEVER SURRENDER, EXCEPT TO FULTON COUNTY" EDITION

 

Trump immediately starts selling T-shirts of his Georgia mugshot with the slogan, 'Never Surrender"     In related news, the photo was reproduced poster-size for a Gastroenterologist's office...with the slogan "AREN'T YOU SORRY YOU DIDN'T TAKE YOUR METAMUCIL YESTERDAY?"   Reportedly, Mattel designers have copied the photo as a guide to designing their new play figure for Barbie....the box reading SENIOR KEN....RIGHT AFTER HE SAW THE MOVIE.

Trump skips the first GOP debate, though 6 our of 8 of the debaters raise their hands 'Yes" when asked if they'll support him for President if he's convicted on any of his 91 charges.  But to be on the safe side, Mike Pence purchased a stainless steel neck collar.....to prevent any any injury from attempted hangings by Trump supporters. Nikki Haley promised that if Trump appoints her his Secretary Of State, she'll set up her office in an adjoining cell......

In a new donation ploy, Donald Trump offers supporters  autographed bottles of  his new beverage. Trump Kool-Aid, available only in Orange flavor, for $498.99 per each 12 oz. size. ...later Trump tweeted, "No truth whatsoever about me putting cyanide in each bottle. Fake News!  There's only pure organic flavoring, citrus coloring just like my head.....and little bit of Valium and Nighttime Nquil to keep you nicely doped-up and happy...

8 GOP Presidential candidates jabber away at each other in debate, most of whom pray that Trump will consider them for Vice President.......all of the candidates promised to consider taking the new pledge to support live televised whippings of pregnant women who try escaping to blue states for abortions. 

'BECKY'.....THEY MESSED WITH THE WRONG 13 YEAR OLD......

 Becky (2020)    Gore hounds, grab your library cards......

               Cause BQ came across this prime, bloody chunk 'o red meat while touring Hoopla Digital streaming......( to which your local library may offer you free access....)

                Our title gal Beck (Lulu Wilson), she's one cranky article alright.....especially over her beloved single dad (Joel McHale) canoodling with a new girlfriend, who comes equipped with a little boy of her own. 

                 And her very bad day's about to get way, way worse.......with Dad's getaway woodsy vacation home invaded by four psychotic, homicidal prison escapees. (Kevin James, Robert Mallet, Ryan McDonnel, James McDougall). 

                  James, unusually cast as an Aryan Brotherhood goon seeks a mysterious key hidden in McHale's basement. (Don't ask....the movie won't bother explaining.)  What's it open, you ask? Don't ask that either, cause the movie seems to have little interest, other than as McGuffin to start up the carnage.......

                    But  wait!  Becky, hiding out in the woods, holds the literal key to James's heart. So much so that he executes her father in front of her to encourage her to give up the key.

                    From this point on, the Beck-in-ator, a born psychopath herself, goes on a blood drenched, vengeance spree. Feel free to cackle and giggle as you watch the Beck-meister liberally drench herself and the James gang in gallons of the red stuff and assorted body parts. Theirs, not hers....heh, heh, heh.  Oh wwwoooooopie! 

                   That's all there is to say, really.  You either dive off the high board into this Olympic pool of Plasma or don't go anywhere near it. 

                  C'mon .....how could any self-respecting fanboy or fangirl stay away from a movie where a cute little girl shoves an outboard motor's propellers into a thug's chest?  It's like watching a Quentin Tarantino version of "Home Alone".....

                   Plus it moves at light speed and benefits from a fully committed cast, including an actually scary Kevin James, having himself a blast with his out-of-the-box scumbag portrayal. 

                  If you live for movies like this, it's a bowl of grisly goulash worth checking out.....3 stars (***).  (Stay tuned for our report on the sequel....titled, honest...."The Wrath Of Becky".

 

'THE MIND BENDERS'.....A DAY IN THE TANK LEAVES DIRK DERANGED.....

 The Mind Benders (1963)   17 years before Ken Russell (and Paddy Chayefsky's)  sensory deprivation thriller "Altered States" , some Brits took a fair crack at the subject......

         Made by the producer-director team of Michael Relph and Basil Dearden, "The Mind Benders" remains a superbly acted, but bizarre and troubling little obscurity, long forgotten till I unearthed it yesterday. 

        To its great credit, it boasts a top-of-the-line roster of talent in the cast, headed by Britain's supremely versatile leading man , Dirk Bogarde, along with Mary Ure, Michael Bryant and John Clements. 

         And as far as I know, it's the first film treatment of real experiments in sensory deprivation.  This involves cutting off all of a person's senses.....no touch, hearing, taste, smell, or vision. This is accomplished (in this film, anyway) by outfitting someone in a scuba suit with a blacked out mask, then letting them float tethered in a large tank of water......for a long time.  

          Scientists viewed these experiments as a method to gage the potential effects of prolonged space travel, or of solitary work in isolated environments.

          The results?  At the very least, massive disorientation.......in the 'worst' category, you could go stark raving bonkers. (Try to imagine one  of today's cell phone/social media addicts dropped into one of those tanks......)

          So we start with Prof. Sharpey ( Harold Goldblatt) who's been putting a lot time in the ole tank.  Abruptly, with his briefcase stuffed with cash, he hops on a train and promptly hops right off it again......only when it's moving at full speed. 

          Major Hall, an MI6 scientist/operative (Clements) thinks the prof sold secrets to Russian spies. But not before the commies  used Sharpey's brainwashed, easily suggestible state, a byproduct of his tank time, to sell out his country and then off himself.  

           Not so, believes Sharpey's associate Longman (Bogarde), who's willing to stick himself in the tank to prove he can't be brainwashed with any weird notions that aren't his own. 

            Major Hall and Longman's young colleague Dr. Tate (Bryant) decide to put that assumption to the test. When they extract an addled exhausted Longman from the tank after eight hours, they implant the idea that Longman thinks his lovely wife Oonagh (Ure) is a lazy slut whom he's always hated. 

             (Young Tate, protests about this being a nasty, rotten experiment to test on Longman, but deep down he's got no real problem with it, since he himself has  been lusting after Oonagh for years.....)

           Uh oh.....it works all too well. Longman swallows their debrief suggestion and subjects poor Oonagh to endless belittlement and casual abuse.  And Bogarde makes use of his infinite range as an actor to make Longman's mistreatment of his long suffering (and now pregnant) wife, both frightening and pathetic.  His brain's so washed and dry-cleaned even letting him hear the tape of Hall and Tate indoctrinating him doesn't snap him out of it.

          (For your full enjoyment, I won't reveal what happens next......other than to say it's properly traumatic, nerve inducing and displays the actors at the top of their game.....) 

            All in all, quite a trim little thriller-drama, a perfect example of modest, low key but still finely crafted British cinema. Calling all Anglophiles to seek this one out.......you can find it hiding on Kanopy, the free streaming service that might be available to you through your library card. 3 stars (***).

(and unlike "Altered States", nobody in the tank turns into an apeman or goes hallucinogenic trippin' through the universe.......)

             

'HEART OF STONE'.....THE NETFLIX ALGORITHMS.......WAITING FOR GADOT....

Heart Of Stone (Netflix 2023)    There's something soul sucking and depressing about viewing one of Netflix's bloated, expensive fake action-adventure blockbusters.......

           This latest one is so generic, so cobbled together, Frankenstein-style, from popular, similar films, it appears untouched by human hands.......it not only sounds written by Artificial Intelligence, if plays as if the A.I. actually directed the film by texting its instructions to the actors' cell phones.......

           I'm beginning to think that "The Entity", the evil A.I. from Tom Cruise's "Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning, Part One" is for real.........and under contract to Netflix. 

           The streamer's go-to gal for such films.....who else but our gal Gal...(Gadot, that is).  Not much acting range, but still an incomparable Amazonian stunner......and well versed in convincingly kicking people's asses to Kingdom Come and back. 

           In this one, Gal's working for some hidden global peacekeepers so super-dooper top secret, they've embedded her within an MI6 team who don't know who she's really working for.  

           The global gang depends heavily on 'The Heart', their all powerful A.I. capable of controlling....well, every damn thing.  But wouldn't ya know it......a surprise rogue agent and a super-dooper hacker upend the world order by trying to seize the Heart for their very own  For all I know, they plan to use it for free Uber rides and Disney World Premium passes. 

           But hey....not on Gal's watch!  Cue the perpetual parade of car chases, punch-outs, and assorted CGI assisted stunts that skip over all those annoying little details like laws of gravity and physics......

           While all this transpires...(or perspires....or expires, depending on your point of view), you can have fun spotting all the other movies that 'Heart Of Stone' was assembled from by Netflix's own version of The Heart........(as in, "Wait, wasn't that from (FILL IN THE BLANK)..."are you kidding me? They ripped that off from (FILL IN THE BLANK)

            If this kind of pre-packaged sausage still amuses you, than by all means, switch off your brain, pop up a tub 'o buttered popcorn and have at it. On that basis, it's a 3 star (***) Guilty Pleasure wallow.....

           But if you're among those who are starting to find these machine-tooled, mechanical, largely inhuman corporate movies more than a little bit weird and frightening.....proceed only dressed in Hazmat gear....Zero stars (0).

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL "IRREFUTRABLE!!" EDITION

 

TRUMP'S LAWYERS CONVINCE HIM TO CANCEL HIS PRESS CONFERENCE WHERE HE PROMISED TO PRODUCE "IRREFUTABLE" EVIDENCE OF GEORGIA ELECTION FRAUD.........but couldn't stop the ex-President from posting on his Truth Social account, "But if you really, really, really want to see my special evidence just call 1-800-GRIFT or send $49.99 to 'D.Trump Hot Scoop' , PlO. Box 00001, Mar-A-Lago, Fla"....for an $29.99 we'll throw in a set of steak knives and a My Pillow security blanket! Don't delay before all our copies are gone!"

TRUMP'S LAWYERS ASK THAT HIS JAN 6TH INDICTMENT TRIAL BE POSTPONED UNTIL 2026......or at least until auto manufacturers have finally developed flying cars, as seen in "Blade Runner" and similar futuristic science fiction movies......

NEWLY REVEALED RECORDING SHOWS ROGER STONE PLANNING TRUMP'S COUP TO REMAIN PRESIDENT........explained Stone, "You know I was only kidding, right? You know, like that book O.J.wrote...'If I Did It"......heh, heh, heh...."

EVEN MORE CORRUPTION REVELATIONS EMERGE ABOUT SUPREMEM COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS......in related events, Justice Thomas posts on E-Bay, "Back-To-School Supreme Court Decision Sale!  Get your own customized, personal Supreme Court ruling in your favor for only $987.89!  Don't delay!  Sale ends Labor Day Weekend!"

'MY GEISHA'.....SHIRLEY'S TURNING JAPANESE, SHE REALLY THINKS SO......

 My Geisha (1962)     Now here's one strange 60's  rom-com that I can safely predict will never, ever come under consideration for a remake........

              Only decades and decades before our era of ethnic diversity, could Shirley MacLaine get away with this movie. Shirl's plays a top superstar whose successful director husband (Yves Montand) flies off to Japan to make a film of "Madame Butterfly".

              Yves, I should point out, has already vetoed the idea to using Shirley as Butterfly, preferring to discover a real Japanese girl to play the role. 

              First you must swallow the idea at some major studio greenlighting an opera with an unknown Japanese girl singing in dubbed in Italian. 

               Oho, but that's just the beginning.......

               Yves can't find any worthy Japanese girls at the auditions.......they all want to be pop stars (and who can blame 'em?)

                Simply as as elaborate prank, Shirley disguises herself as a shy, self-effacing Geisha, just to hoodwink Yves as a party gag. 

               But guess what? Yves to falls for it, he hires her for the lead role, thinking she's the real thing.

               And in true rom-com fashion, chaos and ....uh....hilarity ensue, as Shirley is sometimes caught without her Asian make-up in place.

             Hi-jinks include her clueless co-star (Robert Cummings) falling head over heels for Shirley's Geisha alter-ego......to the point where he hopes to add her to his long list of ex-wives.....yikes. 

              (Okay, let's stop here and allow all of BQ's Asian visitors to express disgust and withering contempt.......which of course, this film's whole premise richly deserves.....)

              Remember though, the film is 61 years old.....and we're talking about the era when British actors frequently donned makeup to play Japanese and Chinese characters. For real. 

             Things come to head when Yves has to look at some potentially damaged footage. When he views the clips projected in reverse negative imagery, Shirley's revealed in all her non-Japanese splendor. Cue the marital damage scenes........

             Feel free to wonder how this movie can extract itself out of the awkward situation it places its characters in and stumble into a happy ending. 

           Feeling castrated and humiliated by his wife's deception, Yves goes along the plan for Shirley's. big "hey,the Japanese star was really me!" surprise at the movie's premiere......but that will effectively end their already rapidly crumbling  marriage.

           I wouldn't dare spoil the ending for anyone still interested in watching this film.....other than to say Shirley comes up with solution that's at the very least as bonkers as rest of the story.....

          (but I don't think it's any surprise that the marriage is saved......this is, after all, a romantic comedy of sorts...)

         Any pluses to this bizarre, very un-woke, inappropriate-on-multiple-levels movie?

        A few, believe it or not. Most oddly, its director was the master cinematographer(and sometime director) Jack Cardiff.  How he ended up in charge of a Shirley MacLaine comedy, I've no idea. So the movie looks splendid.

         Secondly, it provides a co-starring role for one of BQ's all-time favorite international stunners, Yoko Tani.....among the most perfectly beautiful girls I've ever seen in 1960's cinema. 

          And that's about it. Strictly for MacLaine completists and adoring lovers (like BQ) of the most oddball entries in the anything-could-get-made era of the60's and 70's. 1 & 1/2 stars (*1/2) 

                

               

'THE PICASSO SUMMER'.......YOUNG MARRIEDS TOUR FRANCE IN SEARCH OF YOU-KNOW-WHO.....

The Picasso Summer (1969)      BQ visitors know by now how much I love stumbling upon the strangest, weirdest, most incredibly oddball movies of the 60's and 70's.......(one of this blog's Prime Directives).

             Oh happy happy joy joy.......to re-discover this one. It fits every single one of the above mentioned adjectives......strange, weird, oddball.......and oh yes.....one of a kind. Even better - it somehow got greenlighted and made under the auspices of Warner Brothers!

              Not that WB ever let this film see the light of a projector bulb. Judged an unwatchable experiment in artsy-fartsy culture-vulture-ism, they farmed it out to their TV division, who tossed it over to CBS....who finally aired it very, very late at night........

              I'd slip into a coma if I went into the chaotic stories behind the making of this film......extensive re-shoots, re-edits, yada, yada.....and virtually disowned by anyone who ever had anything to do with it. That even includes Ray Bradbury, whose short story furnished the film's premise....(not sure of that either, cause I never read the story....)

               So what the hell is it?  I guess it's about the love of Picasso.....and everybody's search for their own personal fulfillment.....but that's just a guess. 

               Simple enough story.....young married couple(.Albert Finney,Yvette Mimieux) love them some Picasso. Finney's a disgruntled architect, frustrated he's only getting warehouses to design and build. As for Mimieux, she's sweet, gorgeous and smashing in a bikini. (And that's more than enough, since this movie needs all the help it can get)

              With a week off, they zip over to France in search of Pablo Picasso....yeah, they hope to actually hunt down his villa for a meeet-'n-greet. They wander around on motorbikes, annoying all varieties of French people for Picasso's whereabouts.....and God bless those French, they all misdirect them. 

             All the while this travelogue unfolds,,liberally dosed with those split screen sequences that were all the rage in 1968, we come to film's key creative component.....

              I speak of composer Michel Legrand's incessantly lyrical New-Age-y theme, which he proceeds to smear over the entirety of the movie's 95 minutes.......over and over and over and over and over again.....

              It's like trapped in a sound booth listening to a record that skips at the same part....for a solid hour and half. It's nothing less that audio waterboarding, relentless torture. 

              And now let's come to the second major component.  At least 3 times (maybe 4, I kinda lost count), the film erupts into wildly hallucinogenic animated sequences inspired by Picasso........blobs of primary colors morph into the twisted, bizarre and familiar shapes of the artist's famous paintings and sculptures.......and all of these sequences drag on to the point where you stop being impressed and start praying for them to end already.

              On the bright side though, at least the animated stuff allows Michel Legrand to mercifully give us a break from that omnipresent theme and go crazily symphonic to match the dazzling visuals. It begins to sound like Legrand's working his orchestra into a frenzy to not just compete with the animation but overpower it altogether. 

              But back to our lovey-dovey duo. In the film's third act, Finney's futile quest to meet Picasso turns him into a grumpy douchebag......so he ditches Mimieux in France to fly off to Spain to meet a bullfighter friend of the artist, in the hopes of getting an introduction.

             And here's where I lost my tolerance for this movie's twee self-adoration. In Spain, the bullfighter spouts all that Hemingway-esque 'death in the afternoon' crapola about his chosen profession.......

               As if that's somehow suppose to cast a romantic, balletic glow over the disgusting spectacle of a poor dumb animal tortured with spears and skewered with a sword......which, by the way, this film depicts in full actual gory detail,.  (So you sure as hell won't see a "No animals were harmed during the making of this film" disclaimer)

             Screw him and screw this movie for showing this abysmal sight.  Whoever this shmuck is, I can only hope he died from having a bull use its horns to give him an impromptu colonoscopy. 

            Then reunited back on a beach in France our lovey-dovey couple stroll away......not realizing that Picasso (a look-alike stand in) was on the beach too, happily using a stick to draw Picassos in the sand. Oh the irony......but not that those sand scrawls could ever complete with the flesh and blood splendors of Yvette in a bikini. 

             I'll say this much.....for adventurous seekers of the most odd movies ever made, it's worth seeing once. Only once.  But it was never anything but a botched, misbegotten effort, hoping people might think it's artistic because it's all about art.  Uh....nope. 1 star (*).

              

'TILLY IN TECHNICOLOR'.....AN EXCEPTIONAL UNLIKELY DUO IN LOVE, AMID EUROPE'S WONDROUS CITIES....

 Tilly In Technicolor by Mazey Eddings  (2023)

          Technicolor may serve as an apt description for this mega-sweet romance between two neurodiverse teens who fall head over heels for each other.  It's such an unabashed feel-good experience to read, I felt like I'd found my way into a good old-fashioned, classic Hollywood love story, filmed in gorgeous color across every spectacular scenic city in Europe. 

          And from the first chapter on, I found myself surrendering to the practically fairy-tale nature of what unfolds.   You just can't help falling for (and rooting for) this adorable pair. How could you not?They've endured a lifetime of living with and coping with the fact that their brains are wired differently from those around them, leading to no end of misunderstandings and hurtful experiences.   

            Tilly Twomley's ADHD keeps her mind racing at maximum speed in multiple directions while Oliver's Clark's autism makes human interaction a daunting challenge for him.   So naturally their 'meet cute' as fellow passengers on a flight to London goes comically awry.  And to their further displeasure, they discover they'll spend the summer together as interns for the fledgling nail polish line started by Tilly's older sister Mona and her partner Amina.....with Tilly serving as a hand model for photos by Oliver, who's a gifted student of colors and designs.

             When these four make their way across Europe to generate more business for the start-up, those inevitable romantic sparks start to crackle for Tilly and Oliver. As they begin to discover their similarities and anxieties in the way they see the world (and deal with it) a tentative connection between them slowly blossoms  And I can tell you as a reader, prepare to find your heart happily aching for them while you cheer them on every step of the way.

            Okay, maybe it rarely happens this way in real life, but it's so nice, at least while you're reading this, to believe it could - and 'Tilly In Technicolor' spins a enough enough of first love glow around you to make you believe. A quick read, but precision designed to make a reader sigh and smile all the way through it. And BQ visitors should already guess the rating on this one, knowing what a sucker for love I am...

5 stars (*****)

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "I'D RATHER LIVE IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE THAN HERE" EDITION......

 

OHIO VOTERS KNOCK DOWN GOP'S PRO-ABORTION POWER GRAB......leading the state's Republican legislators to issue an angry statement....."How dare these voters interfere with our God-given right to fully investigate every pregnant woman's uterus......once again they've taken away our vital freedoms in the name of democracy!"

TRUMP ANNOUNCES TO RALLY ATTENDEES THAT HE'D MUCH PREFER LIVING IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE THAN THE UNITED STATES......And immediately, over 80 millions people generously offer the ex-President help packing his bags and driving him to the airport.  In France, over 100 millions French citizens express  no worry about Trump moving there......since eventually it'll dawn on Trump's lawyers that France has an extradition treaty with the U.S........

Ron DeSantis wipes out the teaching A.P. Psychology in Florida......states the Governor, "We need less psychologists and more opportunities for colored kids to learn how become blacksmiths.....just like the good old days of the Civil War...."

SENATOR TOMMY TUBERVILLE CONTINUES TO SABOTAGE THE U.S. MILITARY'S CHAIN-OF-COMMAND PROMOTIONS OVER HIS ABORTION VIEWS.......prompting Vladimir Putin issue Tuberville a personal invitation to receive his Order Of Lenin medal for outstanding service to Russia, above and beyond the call of duty.....meanwhile in North Korea, Kim Jung Un promises Tuberville to name the next the country's next missile aimed at the U.S., "The Tommy Express'.......

PROSECUTOR JACK SMITH TERRIFIES TRUMP WITH HIS REQUEST FOR A JAN 2ND DATE TO START TRUMP'S JAN 6TH CRIMINAL TRIAL........following the ex-President's frenzied hysterical rant on Truth Social, Mar-A-Logo employees rush to assist him after what was described as..."an unfortunate incident involving Trump's sudden bowel evacuation..."

Despite the never ending madness, wising a great weekend to all BQ visitors.....see you next week!