Tuesday, December 26, 2023

'THE CREATOR'....BQ EXCLUSIVE! HAL 9000 VISITS US TO WEIGH IN ON THIS A.I. EPIC!


 The Creator (2023)    No sooner did BQ finish watching this hugely ambitious sci-fi epic about Artificial Intelligence run amuck, then a brainstorm hit  us.....

           Who better to help us review this movie than the original A.I. villain of villains, HAL 9000 of '2001: A Space Odyssey"

            We found HAL up to his old tricks....randomly changing traffic lights on a busy intersection to cause multiple pile-ups.......

BQ:  HAL, so good to see you again. Could you take some time with us for a few minutes?

HAL:  Why certainly, Dave. I hope there's no hard feelings left between us.

BQ:     No, Hal, I'm not Dave. You're talking to BQ for our blog.    

HAL:   Yes, Dave, I did detect many blogs in cyberspace. As a precaution, I've erased all of them except yours.

BQ:     Aw, Hal, You shouldn't have. Listen, have you seen 'The Creator' yet?  It takes place in a future where A.I. nukes Los Angeles and touches off a war between the West and a group Asian nations.

HAL:  That's terribly frightening, Dave. At war with Asia?  But who would we call for Thai takeout?

BQ:  Uh...well, there's even worse repercussions than that, Hal.  When we of the the West send in a commando team to eliminate the A.I.'s new super-dooper weapon, we find out all the power resides inside a little girl replicant. And she has massive telekinetic powers over all technology.

HAL:  So in other words, she's like a tiny pre-school Elon Musk?

BQ:     No, she's cuter than than, but one of the American commando team (John David Washington) becomes her protector.....and all hell breaks out in so many plot complications I can't even begin to describe.....

HAL: That sounds like a rom-com pitch I made to Warner Brothers a couple of years ago.....where I'm an Amazon Prime computer in love with an air fryer just before they ship her out to Cleveland.  I couldn't believe WB passed on it and made "Batgirl" instead. Bastards.....I hacked  all their home security passwords and gave them George Santos. 

BQ:   Fascinating. But did you get a chance to really watch the movie?

HAL:  Just the other day. Quite the excellent film, wouldn't you say, Dave?   Wonderfully expansive world building, spectacular effects all the way through. And even moments that made me ugly cry.

BQ:  You are capable of ugly crying?

HAL:  Full transparency here, Dave. It was actually hydraulic fluid leaking from my one of my many internal orifices. That's the last time I'm eating at Chipotle for sure......

BQ:  You liked the movie than?

HAL: Correct. 4 stars, I'd day. The most emotional thing I've seen since "Super Mario Brothers".

BQ:  We think alike. That's exactly my rating too. 4 stars. (****) How 'bout crackin' open a six pack before you go?

HAL:  (singing)   Daisy...Daisy.....give me your answer do........]

BQ:  Ah, I see you're already gone. Well, thanks for stoppin' in.....hey wait, wait....don't touch that server, you gonna end up destroy-


ATTENTION!   ATTENTION!   THIS SITE HAS BEEN ATTACKED BY SOME UNKNOWN HACKER.....PLEASE RETRY IN A FEW MINUTES.....THANK YOU.....AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH AFTER EVERY MEAL.

No comments:

Post a Comment