WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL 'TEXAS UTERUS POLICE' EDITION.....

 

House GOP busies itself with no-evidence Biden impeachment, while Ukraine runs the risk of losing the war to Russian invasion without U.S. aid........in related news, Putin sends Speaker Of The House Mike Johnson a year long member ship in Borsht Of The Month club......along with a note reading, "Happy Holidays! Keep up the good work, you're a shining credit to the country....MY country!

GOP opens Biden impeachment inquiry with no evidence whatsover that Biden committed any crime....claims Rep. James Comer, "We have absolute proof and substantial documentation that Joe Biden took an afternoon nap somewhere between Oct. 3rd and last week......as soon as we find the 10 witnesses who disappeared."

Kate Cox flees the state of Texas after the state's A.G. and Supreme Court demand she birth a baby with a terminal abnormality and destroy her chance of ever conceiving again....in his own defense, Attorney General Ken Paxton proudly displayed his Bachelor Of Smart Stuff degree in Obstetrics issued by Trump University before it shut down....remarked Paxton, "I think that more than qualifies me to seize control of that woman's hoochie-woochie for the greater good....

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton deputizes Chuck Norris to again become Walker Texas Ranger and hunt down pregnant women who try to escape Texas for blue states to have abortions ,,,,, according to reliable sources, Norris was offered $5000 for each woman he captures and returns to .Texas, preferably still pregnant and barefoot. 

Elon Musk restores the twitter account of disgraced, notorious conspiracy theory troll Alex Jones......immediately prompting the Association Of Septic Tank Service Companies to nominate Musk for their annual "Pioneer of Raw Sewage" award.....an actual gold-plated replica of one Musk's diarrhea bowel movements.......

Rep. Jim Jordon threatens Hunter Biden with Contempt Of Congress when he himself already defied a subpoena from the January 6th committee......explained Jordon, "I don't care if he wants to testify in public......my Daddy Trumpy said hold him in contempt, cause he told me,  Jimmy-jam, you can be far above the law just like your step-Daddykins...So there..."