No Time To Die (2021) First off, before we start........there's no way to discuss this 25th Bond movie with any perceptive detail without REVEALING THE MASSIVE TURN OF PLOT AT THE FILM'S CLIMAX......
When we get around to it, we will set off SP0ILER ALERTS like nuclear attack warning sirens.....so proceed at your own risk, cause before we before finish this post, you can bet your shaken-not-stirred martini that we're gonna get around to the THAT EFFIN' ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.....
So here goes.....overall impressions from a lifelong, obsessed Bond movie fan......
THE 163 MINUTE RUNNING TIME.....that's why you won't read any attempts at a plot synopsis here (which you know we hate to do even with films that run 75 minutes). Other than to say.....lots of stuff happens. There now. All done.
We don't really have that big a problem with the length (except for the stress on our aging prostate). The history of the Bond series has always been about each film topping the previous one in spectacle and entertainment value.......and piling more and more thrills and storyline into the mix invariably lengthens the movie......so we're okay with it.
We might object, though, if the next one features an overture and an intermission.....
DANIEL CRAIG......we were never all that comfortable with Craig's conception of Bond as a blunt instrument lethal weapon who gradually humanizes himself over the course of five films....maybe because we grew up with Sir Sean Connery's perfect blend of casual coolness, sly humor and when called upon, efficient brutality.
Like most dedicated Bond fans, we learned to live with Craig, accept this kind of portrayal (which Timothy Dalton took a crack at in his two Bonds, if anyone was paying attention) and even settled in to enjoy it.....(especially in 'Skyfall', where Craig's Bond finally reached his full potential.)
With the sheer amount of angst and physical wear and tear that both Craig and his Bond have endured, we can well understand his insistence on how to properly conclude his tenure. We think he and Connery currently stand as the two most gifted actors who ever played Bond.......(at least until a new guy is selected and tries to prove himself worthy of the mantle......)
RAMI MALEK'S VILLIAN.......we strongly disagree with the critics (and other fans) who've judged him as bland and generic. On the contrary, with his diminutive frame, bug-eyed stare, and slightly Phantom-Of-The-Opera make-up, he makes for a fine creepy adversary, almost suitable for a horror film.
Our only quibble here is with his startlingly perfunctory demise......Memo to producers: give us a break will ya.....this is how you end this guy? After you've had far less threatening villains sucked into jet engines and mashed up by industrial strength drills? Aw, come on!
THE ACTION...... frankly.....not the best. And this continues (and relentlessly overdoes) a technique the films began using in the Pierce Brosnan Bonds......turning Bond into a video game 007, running around and shooting dozens of pop-up assailants as there's a scoring kill-count on the bottom of the screen. But we did love the terrific finish to his fight with the scary minion with a bulging bionic eyeball......and accompanying classic quip to go with it.
HANS ZIMMER'S MUSIC .......God knows we've suffered through enough Zimmer scores where he phones in droning nothingness, but when he's fully engaged with a film, as he was here, he delivers the goods. We smiled broadly at his addition of rich, loud symphonic heft to the gun barrel opening and in a stroke of brilliance (considering the storyline here), he cleverly samples and references John Barry's iconic 'We Have All The Time In The World' love theme from our all-time favorite Bond, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". And in a change of pace from the usual sound design in today's action movies, Zimmer's pounding themes for the chases and fights are turned up as loud as the effects. Well done, all around.
The score, we meant. That excludes the instantly forgettable dirge title song croaked out by Billie Eilish. What a waste. And wasted opportunity. This derives from the producers picking Bond song artists the same way Lorne Michaels picks guest hosts for Saturday Night Live.....in that it doesn't matter about the individual's actual suitability for the task as long as they're riding high as the Zeitgeist's Flavor Of The Month. That's why the 'No Time To Die' song is as useless as Kim Kardashian hosting SNL a few weeks ago. Our recommendation......if they'd just hire Adele to be the Bond's new Shirley Bassey, the producers would stop catching hell about how rotten the songs are.....
SUPPORTING CAST......of course features the usual reliable contributions from the MI6 Scooby-Doo gang (Ralph Fiennes, Naomi Harris, Ben Wishaw, Rory Kinnear) along with fine work from the new inheritor of the 007 number (Lashana Lynch). The most welcome return: Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter (the only actor with the chops and gravitas to turn this cardboard prop of a character into a real human being). As for Billy Magnussen's dopey CIA newbie......this guy easily has the most punchable face in the entire movie, so his story arc is hardly a surprise.
And as for David Dencik as the sniveling, malignant scientist, his fate is the most satisfying by far. Christoph Waltz was always a lazy, bland, unimaginative choice to play Blofeld and nothing's changed our mind. Lea Seydoux remains okay with us, but she's no Diana Rigg.....
The real fun player here turns out to be Ana de Armas in her brief, but showy role as Craig's mayhem buddy against a whole gang of minions in a Cuban bar. That entire sequence reminded us of watching audiences roar with cheers and laughter during the Connery films.
And now, beloved BQ visitors, we've come to the pivotal moment.....
BIG GIANT SPOILER COMING UP RIGHT NOW! IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE, CLICK OFF NOW AND SWITCH OVER TO YOUTUBE TO WATCH PIANO PLAYING CATS! YOUR VERY LAST CHANCE TO AVOID A MAJOR SPOILER.....
FAIR WARNING.......HERE IT COMES.
WE REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT.
FIVE...FOUR......THREE.....TWO....TWO AND A HALF.....ONE!
We speak of......the death of James Bond. Or to be more accurate, the death of the Daniel Craig James Bond..
Ya know what? We're okay with it.
From the opening minutes of Craig's appearance in "Casino Royale" it was made crystal clear to audiences that this was a complete re-start of the Bond character, that this guy had no earthly connection or relations to the Bonds played by Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton or Pierce Brosnan.
And now, after a five film story arc of suffering betrayal and unspeakable heartbreak, he's dead.......but as the British cops said when they found Sean Connery sprawled in fake death on his bedsheets in "You Only Live Twice".....he'd have wanted it this way.....
Daniel Craig's Bond died as he lived......in perpetual anger and pain, with any kind of happy ending forever dangling just beyond his grasp.
Okey-dokey.......fine with us.
As long as producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli remain true to those four words that finally turn up as the very last things you'll see on the credit crawl:
James Bond Will Return.
We'll pay no attention to all that nonsense about the next Bond being a woman or Idris Elba. Even Idris Elba is sick of hearing it.
Our best guess - whoever the new Bond will be, he's going to have an all new history......and will have absolutely nothing to do with the Craig-Bond, who will only exist in the five films he appeared in. Right now, he's an unformed embryo, but we're sure he'll arrive fully grown in he person of......well, your guess is as good as ours.
And that, for all life long Bond-iacs like us, is something worth looking forward to.
For James Bond (and Bond films, we say there's no time to die......ever.
For "No Time To Die.....4 stars (****). Adios, Daniel. For everyone's sake, rest in piece.....even if your fate left you in pieces.
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