Fantastic Voyage (1966) Yep, we couldn't think of a better heading for this post than the title of the John Mayer song......
As dated as it is, this theme park trip into some guy's internal organs still gets under our skin....literally....heh, heh, heh....
Who knew that a trip inside a human body would be more fun and educational than heaving your guts out on a Six Flags looping rollercoaster?
Not to mention all the colorful stuff you get to see as you cruise through arteries, veins and even the poor shlub's lungs, which are littered with chunks of dark gunk from smoking. (If the sight of that doesn't make you give up the cancer sticks, nothing will.....)
But let's back up to the beginning, where a brave team has been assembled by the super-secret CMDF.....the Combined Miniature Deterrent Forces......(we're not sure what shrinking people down to microscopic size deters against.....overcrowding at restaurants, maybe....)
Their mission - save the scientist who figured out how to keep people shrunk for more than one hour.. Enemy agents (a.k.a. commie spies) put a hit out on him, leaving him in a coma with a brain blood clot than can only be laser-zapped from inside his head by a teeny-teeny-weeny surgical team.
So after our stalwart bunch is shrunk smaller than a cotton sweater stuck in the dryer too long, off they go in the 'Proteus', their own little mini-sub for a cruise through the scientist's innards rendered stunningly hallucinogenic by the 20th Century Fox art department.
Our sturdy crew consists of a taciturn Secret Service agent (Stephen Boyd), the sub's captain (William Redfield) two doctors (Arthur Kennedy, Donald Pleasance) and for good old fashioned hubba-hubba, va-va-voom sex appeal, Raquel Welch.
(Among this bunch lurks a commie saboteur, dedicated to stopping anyone from zapping out that pesky blood clot......guessing the bad guy here is about as difficult as ascertaining who's buried in Grant's Tomb, but rest assured that the guilty party suffers the most gruesome fate this movie could come up with, given where it's taking place......)
On this bumpy, weird theme-park ride, multiple complications ensue, the legendary highlight of which consists of Raquel Welch attacked and ensnared by......antibodies!
Yes, you heard that right, those wonderful little thingies designed to defend us from viruses mistake Raquel for a foreign body (which she is, technically). No doubt that all red-blooded heterosexual boys envied those antibodies as they put the serious squeeze on the 60's hottest starlet.
We found all kinds of interesting moments here......early in the film, that standard 1950's sci-fi trope of "This is no place for a woman!" is duly trotted out and to the film's credit, quickly dispensed with . During the voyage itself, Arthur Kennedy's surgeon character sometimes waxes poetic about the possibility of intelligent design in the many wonders of the human body........(but we can't tell if the screenwriters believe that or if they threw it in to insure healthy box office receipts in the heartland......)
An awesomely eye-catching ride altogether and unlike theme park attractions, you can stream it in the comfort of home without watching your cotton candy wilt while you wait in a long long line. We consider it required 4 star (****) viewing for all dedicated buffs of classic sci-fi, so book a trip real soon......
And let's hear it for those antibodies........they only resorted to groping Raquel Welch's infrastructure when they mistook her for a germ. They're still making personal appearances right now inside your own body.......and pumped up like tiny Conans the Barbarians if you've been vaxxed......(if you haven't, even the micro-nauts of "Fantastic Voyage" can't save you.....)
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