We faced a daunting task in deciding who would become the proud recipient of The Beached Quill's brand new, honorary award for singular achievement above all other competitors.......
That achievement going to the individual who has proved without a doubt that he or she is.....
THE WORST TUB OF SHIT OF THE YEAR.
We don't know how hard it will be in future years to find a person worthy of such an honor.....we only know that it only took us half a micro-second to deliberate on this year's first honoree.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we burst with pride in bestowing this coveted award on an individual who, year after year, has proven to America and the world how much he deserves this dazzling statue.....an aluminum plated bowel movement......
Among those who are repulsive in every possible way imaginable........intellectually, physically, politically......he has no equal. And sets a high bar indeed for next year's recipient.......(or should we say the lowest of the low bars.....)
With all the heartfelt hatred we can muster, we're thrilled to present "The World Tub Of Shit Of The Year" award to a man who's worked so hard, and consumed so many french fries to earn it.
We can only be speaking of Donald Trump's very own personal Jabba The Hut.......so overwhelmingly evil and disgusting that the mere sight of him causes instant nausea.....
Steve Bannon.
Where do we even begin with this oily blob's accomplishments.......Fascist, defrauder of Trump's own donors while he partied on a yacht, and podcast demagogue, revving up the brain-dead MAGA morons the day before they terrorized Congress and tried to destroy American democracy.
No wonder Trump pardoned him.
In a race to the very bottom of humanity, no one has slithered faster than this bloated blowhard.....
And to this genuine traitor to his own country, we present the one and only award he owns above all other contenders......
Mr. Bannon........you're the shit. Truly.
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