The pandemic may have pushed the dates back on all the traditional film and TV award shows.........
You know it well.......the traditional first two months of each year when actors, writers, directors and producers indulge in an orgy of self congratulation and simpering false modesty......and stand at podiums, clutching their weighty trophies and .reminding all of us struggling proles to not be afraid to follow our dreams......(as we struggle to scrape up enough cash to buy toilet paper and disinfectant....)
For those of you who can't live without at least one fresh awards presentation to kick off the new year, your ever efficient BQ proudly presents.....
The annual BQ-OOTIES......given to worthy individuals who've managed some kind of achievement......more or less......may we have the envelopes, please.
WORST ATTEMPT TO BECOME A THIRD WORLD DICTATOR: Donald J. Trump, whose aspirations to be coronated President For Life were undone by his own overwhelming stupidity.
MOST EVIL HUMAN ON PLANET EARTH THIS YEAR Senator Mitch McConnell. We thought Trump was an automatic shoo-in for this award. But he's been trumped, so to speak, by Monstrous Mitch, who single-handedly thwarted desperately needed $2000 COVID relief payments to millions of Americans. The Terrible Turtle, who looks and sounds like a minor character actor from 'The Andy Griffith Show', proved once again, he's a vile piece-of-shit to be reckoned with.....
TRUE HEROES OF THE YEAR: Doctors, nurses, first responders and all health care workers.....their dedication and courage stagger the imagination.
INVERTEBRATES OF THE YEAR: The spineless, cowardly enablers, minions and worshippers of Donald Trump......who sold their souls to a man who'd throw them all under a bus in less than half a heartbeat. May you all live your toxic legacy and the infamy you so richly deserve.
WORST STREAMING STARS OF THE YEAR: Joe Exotic and his nemesis Carole Baskin of "Tiger King"......Joe gives you an idea of how Trump's life would go if he'd chosen lion and tiger taming instead of real estate development.......Baskin made quite the splash on the ABC show, "Dancing With Someone Who Fed Her Husband To Tigers"
PERSON OF THE YEAR: Greta Thunberg. We know Time magazine already gave her this award, but we just wanted to do it again 'cause it so drives Trump up the wall........
WORST POLITICAL IMPERSONATION OF THE YEAR: Jim Carrey's Joe Biden on "Saturday Night Live". We do honor Carrey for despising Trump as much as we do, but his Biden was 90 per cent Jim Carrey shtick and 10 per cent Biden....rendering the imitation unfunny. SNL's better off without him......
SADDEST PASSINGS OF THE YEAR: The gentlemanly quizmaster Alex Trebek, who delighted in making us all a little smarter......the British goddess, Dame Diana Rigg..... our one and only ultimate James Bond, Sir Sean Connery.....and most sadly in its repercussions for all of us, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who valiantly clung to life in a futile effort to hold off Trump from polluting the Supreme Court with more Trumpanzees....
MOST EAGERLY ANTICIPATED UPCOMING YEAR: 2021.......for no other reason than.....it signifies the much desired demise of 2020.
Happy and Healthy New Year to all BQ visitors!
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