3-D DEMI ! LIFE-SUCKING SLUGS! THE 'PARASITE' ONLY FANBOYS LOVE

Parasite (1982)   As you can see from the year of its release, this is not the celebrated South Korean multiple Oscar winner........

              In '82, a movie titled 'Parasite' could only be about exactly what it promised........a slimy razor toothed worm that took up residence in your tummy......feasting on you from the inside out.....

               In the deathless words of the 'The Little Rascals' cannibal-guy......"Yum, Yum! Eat 'um up!'

             And you could also assure yourself that a movie named 'Parasite' would cost only a few dollars more to produce than the ticket you paid to see it.......

               But why quibble? Slap on your flimsy paper 3-D glasses and revel in the sight of the eponymous monster launching itself directly at the camera and into your lap.......

                A plot?  Uh......hold on.....we know there's sort of one floating around here. Yes.....it's the future! 1992!   The world's been nuked to hell and gone......and our sort-of-hero scientist goes on the run from an evil government hitman armed with Frickin' Laser Beams!

               Our Dopey Guy The Science Guy takes along a couple of his pet parasites, one in a can and one in his gut (not a good thing)........Also not a good thing....he ends up in a Middle-Of-Nowhere Southwestern hole-in-the-wall infested by nasty biker-types left over from old Roger Corman movies......

               This place has its pros and cons......The primary pro:  young Demi Moore in her first feature film......the primary cons:  the post apocalypse scummy gang and the well dressed hitboy, who's taken to zapping people left and right with his Frickin' Laser Beams...…

                Bobbling along in this river of carnage, you'll spot Cherie Currie, Joan Jett's bandmate from the Runaways......and bizarrely, the aging musical-comedy star Vivian Blaine (of "Guys And Dolls")…...who doesn't sing a note, but does get enjoy a....uh....well, quite an explosive scene......

                 And who do we have to thank for this pulpy, gooey little mess of a movie...….who else but the tirelessly prolific horror-sci fi shlockmeister Charles Band......who later formed his Full Moon productions company that pumped out countless low-grade ooga-booga classics like the "Puppet Master" movies...….

                You'll never hear us disparage the Band-inator……...'cause as a long ago video movie-buyer, we loved keeping our stores well stocked with all his gruesome little cheapies...…customers (and disturbingly, some their younger kids) loved 'em……

               Since we're feeling pangs of nostalgia on our birthday, we'll ooze out 2 & 1/2 slimy stars for 'Parasite' (**1/2)…..though we may hate ourselves for it in the morning...…..

               Nah......no we won't.