We spared nothing to bring you this hot scoop......the BQ managed to track down Donald Trump Jr....we found him repeatedly riding the elevator in Trump Tower up and down while watching "The Spy Who Loved Me" on his cellphone.....
BQ: Don, could we talk to you a minute?
DON JR: Will you look at this hot Russian babe in the movie.......jeez, I'd help that hottie overthrow the US any day of the week......
BQ: Don, you do realize that's treason, right?
DON JR: Different strokes, pal.....treason to you, fake news to me....
BQ: Are you aware you could be in some serious trouble here? Collusion with a foreign power?
DON JR: Oh you heard about that? The fender-bender with some guy in a Fiat? A nothingburger....we both have insurance.....I got Geico, how 'bout you?
BQ: No , Don, I didn't say collision with a foreign car......Collusion with a foreign power. You dad hasn't said much about your...uh...little meeting with the Russian lawyer....
DON JR. Not a bad lookin' bowl of borscht, that woman, but she's no Barbara Bach, believe me.Dad was a little disappointed when I told him I didn't grab her pussy even once......he said something like, "Sorry, kid, we're gonna have to throw you on a bus...." I said, "Dad, come on, that's ridiculous, I have a limo...."
BQ: Don, I think you heard him wrong.....what your Dad probably told you was about having to throw you under a bus......It's a figure of speech, Don....not good.
DON JR: You snowballs.....always makin' up lies about my dad. When he works so hard for the country, trying to make Moscow great again.....wait, I mean....
BQ: I think you meant snowflakes.....You know, Don, some pundits compare you to Fredo from the "The Godfather"
DON JR: Frito? I don't remember any Mexican rapists in that movie.
BQ: No, Don, not Frito.... Fredo, the middle brother in the Corleone clan......the weak, stupid spineless one who betrays his family.
DON JR: Nah.....actually, Dad says I'm more like Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies.....only taller, dumber and with greasier hair......
BQ: Hmmm.....fairly accurate.
DON JR: Damn, the movie on my phone's over....I'm switchin' to Spotify......you ever heard this one, "Back In The USSR"? Love it, man....'Moscow girls really knock me out, they leave the West behind...."
BQ: Ah, we're back on the ground floor......well, Don, thanks for taking the time to chat. We appreciate it....aren't you a tiny bit worried about all this controversy?
DON JR: Hell no.....I just got lawyered up...... and he gave some great advice.
BQ: What does he advise? Plead the Fifth? Take a deal?
DON JR: He recommended I stay on this elevator for the next three years. No problem.....I want to hear the rest of this song anyway, so I'll take the elevator up again....
BQ: It's not an Express car, though, Don.
DON JR: Yeh, I'm aware.....my elevator doesn't go all the way to the top....
BQ: We know, Don......we know.
DON JR: (Singing, as the elevator doors close) "Back in The USSR....."
No comments:
Post a Comment