WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL "O.J. CHECKS IN TO HELL" EDITION

 

O.J. Simpson dead at 76 from prostate cancer.....and immediately asks the Devil for time off for good behavior due to the years he spent searching for his wife's real killer.....on golf courses all over the country. Reportedly Satan replied, "Nice try, get back on the spit..."

Arizona Supreme Court returns to abortion laws of 1864....before Arizona as even a state......stated one Justice on the ruling..."All you Arizona ladies, don't you worry your pretty little heads about havin' them there babies for the men-folk.  You just squish out them young 'uns for us, no matter what, otherwise we'll hunt ya down like dogs.....and even if birthin' kills ya, we'll bury ya proper up there on Boot Hill and drink a saspirilli in yer honor...."

Trump proudly takes credit for appointing Supreme Court justices who ended Roe V. Wade, then desperately flip-flops his abortion positions after Arizona's draconian '1864' ruling sparks nationwide outrage.....said the ex-President, "Yes, I did say return abortion to the states to decide....but I meant....like,....you know....a ten week ban....no, wait, a sixteen week ban....uh, no a 12 week ban....how 'bout a fourteen week ban? And a complete ban on any Democrats sneaking into maternity wards to eat the babies....which you know they do all the time....many people are saying that...."

Federal Prosecutor Jack Smith considers appealing Judge Aileen Cannon's absurd jury selection guidelines for the Mar-A-Lago stolen documents case.......but did remember to warn Trump's lawyers to stop leaving brown paper bags of cash payoffs on her front lawn and use her mailbox instead.......