WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL 'LAW 'N DISORDER' EDITION.....

 

At long last, Trump's 'porn star hush money' trial begins.....Trump begs judge for a day off to attend his son's high school graduation....("Your Honor, please.....the kid needs me there. After all, I couldn't be there with him when he was an embryo and a newborn.....Stormy wanted around the clock humping, so I couldn't be in two places at once.....give a dad a break, will ya? I can make up for never attending the grad ceremonies for Tiffany, Don Jr. and that other idiot...")

Trump falls asleep during jury selection at his trial.....later claiming Hunter Biden and Deep State secret agents replaced his hemmoroid suppositories with Chloral Hydrate.....

Trump's rambling, demented Gettysburg speech defies all rational explanations.....in regard to his supposed Robert E. Lee quoting ("We can't go up the hill, me boys!") Trump declared he has conclusive proof that Gen. Lee was a distant relative of Captain Jack Sparrow, Long John Silver and the guy on the rum bottles.....

Speaker Of The House Johnson attempts to push through aid to Isreal and Ukraine while Marjorie Taylor Greene plots to oust him from the Speakership..... Greene gave Johnson fair warning that she'll either round up enough votes to kick him out and make a secret deal with Jewish Space Laser pilots to incinerate him if he picks up his gavel......

College students stage mass anti-semitic demonstrations on campus...fortunately for police and campus security, many of the protesters began to disperse, due to full diapers.....

Trump continues to constantly defy gag orders.....a group of prisoners in the infamous Rikers Island jail, sent a plea to the judge to sentence Trump to serve time there.....promising the only noise he'd be able to make was pig squealing........and would need several pillows to sit in a courtroom chair......

GOP thwarts attempts to stop their 1864 abortion ban, making Arizona women and their doctors open to criminal prosecution.....and also warned that 'Preggo Bounty Hunters' would be fully armed and deputized to hunt down pregnant women wherever they flee or try to hide,.....promising a $1000 dollar tax free payout for each bagged woman brought back alive......