'EVERY TIME I GO ON VACATION SOMEONE DIES'....A BOOK TOUR IN ITALY TO DIE FOR......LITERALLY

  Every Time I Go On Vacation Someone Dies by Catherine Mack (release date 4/30/24)

      I can only hope that every time I go on vacation, I take a book with me as much fun to read as this one was.

      What a perfect way to kick off the spring-summer reading season. A clever, laugh-out-loud and beautifully scenic whodunit, especially a romp for those of us immersed in all the tropes of murder mysteries.....and author Catherine Mack loads her story up with wickedly sharp asides from her narrator, bestselling author Eleanor Dash.

       Ellie and her sister Hayley, who functions as her assistant, are on a publicity book tour through sunny but broiling hot Italy. The tour's for the latest in her wildly popular romantic mystery series. It's another of the travelogue-worthy thrillers with a fictionalized version of Ellie and lovable rogue Connor Smith, based on their original real life Rome adventure together.

      Except that Connor's not fictional and Ellie's grievous error in using his real name left her a permanent victim of his extortion for a percentage of her royalties. Ellie's one time romance with Connor has turned to hate. And she's looking to free herself of him by killing him off in her next book,. But Connor's claiming, much to her disbelief that someone's trying to do him in for real. Her skepticism quickly evaporates when attempts are made on her life as well.

        There's certainly no shortage of suspects on the tour with them........two rival bestselling mystery authors,, Connor's ex wife and his new girlfriend, Ellie's one-that-got-away former lover, and a busload of avid women fans, including one notorious stalker. Careening around Italy they all go, with a hapless tour guide who's literally a Trevi Fountain of misinformation

       Needless to say, when the twists, revelations and surprises start detonating, some of these folks might be taking leave of the tour....along with their lives.

      Dialogue-driven and funny all the way through, this book stands as one of the fastest and tongue-in-cheekiest reads I've come across (And I challenge any of you to keep a straight face at the Goodreads reference.....). 

        If you've plowed through who knows how many deep, dark, violent psychological mysteries, consider this book to reward yourself with a perfect sweet dessert - with cherries, whipped cream, and a few dead bodies on top. 4 stars (****).....(can't wait till Ellie books her next getaway.....)

'LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL'.........AND NOW......HERRRRRRRRRRRRE'S....SATAN!

 Late Night With The Devil (2023)    To fully appreciate the dark satire this film's putting out, you'd need full familiarity with the late night talk shows of the the 1970's.......lorded over by the crowned king of such shows, Johnny Carson. 

       Millennials and Gen Zs would need to check out streaming sites that offer channels devoted to old Carson 'Tonight Show' reruns....

      This film's 70's late night host, Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) sure as hell is no Johnny Carson. His 'Night Owls' show resides in the Neilson ratings basement, he's lost his beloved wife to cancer and he's well on his way to showbiz oblivion......

       In desperation, he goes all out to make his Halloween night show one to remember......

       And oh boy, does he ever. Cause nothing jacks up the ratings like a live appearance from an actual demon from hell. 

      Some background for those of you who know nothing about talk shows of the 50's, 60's and 70's.

       These shows accumulated a coterie of non-entity, non celebrities whose only accomplishments were their overall oddness and their aggressive self-marketing. 

       Psychics, Astrologers, Magicians, Fitness-Self Help gurus, and barely literate authors of throwaway books, they clung to their 15 minutes of fame like leeches who'd found a warm body.  And talk show bookers sprinkled them into the mix of real celebrities. 

       "Late Night..." casts a wicked satirical eye on these oddballs in the form of Jack Delroy's guest lineup for his Halloween bash.....

        Appearing first is a vaguely foreign (The Middle East? The Balkans?) psychic 'Christou' (Fayssaal Bazzi). A mind reader with supposed telekinetic powers, he's a mash-up of Uri Geller and 'The Amazing Kreskin).  And then, to Christou's outrage and umbrage, out comes Carmichael Hague (Ian Bliss), a magician now pursuing a side career of debunking psychics as hustling grifters. (a knockoff of the real guy, The Amazing Randi.....maybbe these guys should have come out with fresher adjective than 'Amazing'....)

         Delroy, dripping with showbiz smarm and insincerity, clearly enjoys these two characters clashing, but the best is yet to come......in the form of his current girlfriend June (Laura Gordon), who's been feeding on her infamy as the rescuer and now guardian of a devil possessed teen girl Lily (Ingrid Torelli)....

          Oh my....what could possibly go awry here?

          Everything, naturally, which leads to projectile vomiting the full array of "Exorcist" special effects and hefty doses of body ripping gore. 

          Through most of the movie, we admired the ambitious attempts to combine satirical thrusts at talk shows while delivering the expected goods to the gorehounds. But in its finale, the film unwisely aspires to 'elevated horror', which only comes off as pretentious. 

            Most of it's good, nasty fun, though, with genuine bravura work from Dastmalchian as the oily host and Torelli, who's superb at underplaying her hellish cutie-pie, until forced to let the special effects do the heavy lifting......)  

             BQ says keep this one in mind for Halloween night.....but only after the kiddies are safely tucked away upstairs gorging themselves on candy. 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2)

 

           

        '

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!" EDITION

 

Trump falsely claims "thousands and thousands" of his supporters were turned away from showing support outside the courtroom of his hush money trial.....when in reality there were only less than a dozen.....porn star Stormy Daniels mentioned that Trump used the same mathematical level of exaggeration when discussing the length and staying power of his penis.....

Marjorie Taylor Greene presses for Mike Johnson's ouster as Speaker Of The House after he succeeds getting a Ukraine-Israel aid package passed.....and MGT is now consulting a manual sent to her by Vladimir Putin....on how to arrange Johnson's falling out of skyscraper window so it looks like accident.....signing it, "Dear beloved Margy-Bear : try this technique out, it's worked for me so many times!"

Right Wing Supreme Court Justices stretch and warp their legal logic to help award Trump a least some of the total immunity he's asking for, or at least delay his insurrection trial .....prompting Trump to immediately send a portable hot tub for Clarence and Ginny Thomas's RV, as well as 200 cases of Budweiser to Bret Kavanaugh. Justice Alioto declined accepting Trump's 10,000 dollar Olive Garden gift card, but did state, "yes, we're strict Constitutionalists, but that doesn't mean we can't bend it a little for Donald....Who's gonna know?"

'NONE OF THIS IS TRUE'.....BEWARE WHOM YOU PUT ON YOUR PODCAST.....(****)

  None Of This Is True by Lisa Jewell (2023) 

          Now here's a perfect recipe for a domestic psychological thriller....

           Two women.....a chance meeting......dark secrets......and murders. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.....

           At a restaurant, two women randomly, briefly meet, discovering they share the same birthday. They couldn't be more different.

            Alix Summer, a well known podcaster, lives an upperclass life of wealth and comfort. Josie Fair lives a lower middle class existence with a husband much, much older than she.  A husband and a sad life she's eager to jettison and begin anew. 

           What a terrific idea for a podcast, which is the concept Josie pitches to Alix......the story of Josie breaking free from her dreary, unhappy marriage.

            Alix agrees, not knowing what a Pandora's Box of dysfunction, mystery and murderous violence she's opened......because Josie and her family carry with them all manner of disturbing histories......

            And some people involved won't be coming out of this alive.....

            For domestic thriller fans, this one will suck you in till the last page and the final ironic twists.  Not as fast paced as I usually prefer, but the characters are deeply drawn and you can't stop reading as Alix and Josie's lives start to spiral out of control......

          As for the truth of what's really going on?

         Well, that's for you to find out if you're in the mood for a page turner that peels off what's going on with that slightly strange family who live down the block.....4 stars (****)   

        And watch out for folks who claim, "I just want to speak my truth...."

'THE MINISTRY OF UNGENTLEMANLY WARFARE'....CHURCHILL'S DIRTY HALF-DOZEN SLAUGHTER TRUMP'S "VERY GOOD PEOPLE"

 

The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024).....bases itself on Winston Churchill's de-classified files about his sending out clandestine rogue commandos on an impossible mission.....

..........and these guys, undisciplined, violent and probably criminally psychotic, were sent out to cut off supplies to the dreaded German U-boats. The fun part for us......these virtuosos of violence excel at racking up a sky-high Nazi body count.   

           (We all remember Nazis, right? The ones that Trump referred to as 'very good people'.....)

         Leave it to Guy Ritichie, master of over-the-top, casually satiric carnage, to take the structure of a typical 'men-on-a-mission' World War 2 adventure (a la "Guns Of Navarone", "Where Eagles Dare") and bend it to his will.....which means turning it into a hip festival of brutal death for the most deserving villains on earth. 

          Led by coolest-would-be-Bond Henry Cavill, Churchill's motley fun loving crew of stone cold killers plow through hundreds of Nazis like a mobile buzzsaw. 

         You'd need a calculator to total up the endless companies of Germans who are machine gunned, blown up, neatly perforated with arrows, or stabbed repeatedly.......(a few lucky ones get off easier with quick, efficient throat slashings....)

         Ritchie takes the bravura, spit-in-the-face-of-authority derring-do of "The Dirty Dozen"  and dials it up to almost laughable cartoonish levels. 

         At one point, before the gang launches into eviscerating an entire Nazi prison camp, Cavill encourages his troupe to "try to have fun...."

          And BQ doesn't mind admitting......we did. 

          Dumb and ridiculous as it is, we savored every blood soaked minute of it. We haven't enjoyed a World War 2 movie this much since watching Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton wipe out an entire castle-ful of Nazis in 'Where Eagles Dare'.

            Apart from the non-stop massacres, there's other fun moments to savor....such as....

             Cavill getting his marching orders from the very first British "M" (Cary Elwes), who's aided by a young Naval Intelligence officers named.....(as declares out loud "Fleming....Ian Fleming."

           Yes, it's that Ian Fleming, whom the film's postscript informs us that he based his Jame Bond character on Cavill's real life "Gus March-Phillips?

            We also did snicker a bit at Rory Kinnear's pathetic attempt at playing Winston Churchill.....(which we're unsure if it was intentional or not).....a toss-up as to what's more half-hearted - his acting or his make-up.

           But a most definite MVP here - composer Christoper Bernstead, whose score makes a riotous counterpoint to Ritchie's visuals.......either it's brazenly imitating an Ennio Morricone spaghetti western score or pounding away with 'Mad Max' frenzy.

          This all sounds like junk, you say?

           Sure as shootin', but this is the kind of exuberant junk that you can revel in, lose yourself in, and enjoy the hell out of while you gobble down tons of buttered popcorn. 

            And serves to prove one of BQ's carved-in-stone commandments of cinema.......that you can never have enough movies that mow down mass quantities of Nazis. 

              4 stars (****).

           

           

'DARLING GIRLS'.....FOSTER CARE ABUSE VICTIMS GO BACK TO A SCENE OF A CRIME ...(*****)

 Darling Girls by Sally Hepworth (2024)

         Psychological domestic thrillers don't get much better than this. And the 'domestic' part of this one involves three women, the 'Darling Girls', who together suffered terrible childhood abuse at the hands of their monstrous foster mother.

         Now grown women and bonded together as much as blood related sisters, Jessica, Norah and Alicia still struggle to cope in various ways with the trauma of their upbringing. Jessica's career as a 'home organizer' is jeopardized by her drug addiction. Norah can hardly control her impulses for anger and violence. And family social worker Alicia can't find any measure of happiness for herself as she tries to find fostered children homes where they'll never encounter the horrors she endured.

        All of them, in different ways, were forever damaged by their time spent in the care of the odious Miss Fairchild, a deceptively benevolent woman. Her home's a spacious farm, complete with swimming pool and barn for horses. But Miss Fairchild, once she drops her false mask of normality, is a real life, flesh and blood Wicked Stepmother straight out of the darkest fairy tales. And the amount of emotional and physical abuse she inflicts on the three girls finally brings them to the breaking point of going to the authorities.

        Years later, the three women have been summoned back to the town of their former foster home. Police would like to question them about skeletal remains found buried on the farm grounds, and every miserable memory of that place comes flooding back to them.......especially with the return of their hated and feared nemesis Miss Fairchild, who exists in her own self-contained bubble of thinking she's never done anything wrong.

          This is easily one of the most compelling thrillers I've read so far this year. There's no shortage of shocking, disturbing twists right up the very last pages and author Sally Hepworth, constantly breaks your heart and fuels your anger on behalf of her three lead characters. I stood in complete awe of how the final wrap-up is handled, with a skilled mixture of surprise, heartfelt empathy......and dread. For every reader who can't enough of this genre, this one's a must read.

            5 stars (*****). Put this one high on your '-summer 'must' list.

'EXTINCTION'....WHAT KIND OF BLOODTHIRSTY PREDATORS ARE LOOSE ON A ROCKIES RESORT?

 Extinction by Douglas Preston (2024)

        Though I was simultaneously reading this book and three others, I found myself devoting way more time to racing through "Extinction" than the others competing for my full attention.

        I just couldn't wait to find out what in the horrific world was going on and what terrifying thing was going to happen next......so I felt I was in the middle of a guaranteed 5 star read.
And author Douglas Preston didn't disappoint in this variation of "Jurassic Park" with far more fear, horror, gore and science gone terribly awry.

          Up in the breathtaking Colorado Rockies, the Erebus resort offers its guests the astounding spectacular sights of Wooly Mammoths and other giant prehistoric creatures whose names I wouldn't dare try to type without spellcheck.

          Created by a mega-billionaire, the resort's scientists have 'de-extincted' the massive animals by mixing up assorted cocktails of DNA. (Although the Erebus science crew openly mocks and derides the fiction of "Jurassic Park", it does sound like pretty much the same thing......and what could possibly go wrong with mixing and matching DNA.....heh, heh, heh.....)

           But amid the jaw-dropping creatures and picture postcard scenery, something's going very, very wrong.......starting with the abduction and probable evisceration of newlywed campers, one of whom was the son of yet another powerful biillionaire..

           Colorado Bureau Of Investigation agent Frances Cash and county sheriff James Colcord join forces to hunt the killers. And it starts to look like they're up against either a deranged religious cult or determined eco-terrorists who prefer committing blood drenched atrocities rather than tree hugging.

          But they can't possibly know how much worse and fantastic their assumptions are. Way, way worse. This all leads to a catastrophic finish that combines all the tropes of every disaster movie you've ever seen with every gut-shredding horror movie you've ever cringed through.
And that explains why I slowed down reading my other three books so I could keep diving into this one.

        As you can tell, I had a great time with this book and for thriller fans (especially of the science-based page turners), mark this one down as a number one beach read......or, for that matter, as soon as you get your hands on the book.  5 stars (*****)  Strap in a prehistoric thrill ride.

'IMMACULATE'.....ONCE AGAIN, A NUN ON THE RUN WITH A BUN IN THE OVEN.......

Immaculate (2024)......if nothing else, served to anoint flavor-of-the-month Hot Girl Sydney Sweeney as our new official Scream Queen.

          And we mean that literally.  At the utterly bonkers climax of this film, the Syd-meister lets rip what must be several sustained minutes of tonsil-warping shrieks that could telekinetically break glass.....

          Who can blame her.......she's a nun in the final, agonized throes of labor, on the verge of delivering......baby Jesus?  The Anti-Christ? Another Donald Trump?  (no wait.....we already said The Anti-Christ, didn't we?)

           What's that, you ask?  A nun in labor?  How can that be?  Aren't they only supposed to serve as virginal 'brides of Christ'? In the...uh...metaphorical sense, right?

 

            And didn't the convent doctor give Syd-o-licious a pop quiz pelvic to make sure her hymen was never humped?   Did he grade on a curve, or what?

             Welcome back to the World of Catholicism Horror, filled to the brim with creepy nuns, crazy nuns tortured nuns, half naked nuns, bathed nuns.....and pregger nuns....

               Such a fate mysteriously befalls the virginal Sister Cecilia (Sweeney) as she checks in to a convent that cares for retired, elderly sisters.   (Which means there no shortage of scary looking old nuns to jump-scare Sydney at a moment's notice.....)

                Speaking of jump scares, there's plenty in store since the movie needs to kill time for about half its 89 minute length before its central premise kicks in......

                 So don't be alarmed if you think you've actually stumbled into re-watching 'The Last Omen' whose trappings are almost a duplicate of 'The Immaculate'.....

                 Yes, there's diabolical, behind-the-scenes doings amongst the Church hierarchy here, but for once, not in service of Satan.....

                 This time, the God Squad's out to stage manage the Second Coming themselves......and who better to incubate mini-Jesus than smokin' hot Sydney. 

  

                   And then the real fun begins,with the film sloshing around enough blood 'n gore to make us recall the 1970's  Golden Age of 'Giallo'......when Dario Argento and lesser,  fellow Italian shlock-meisters freely smeared and splashed their movies with more steamy guts than a pork slaughterhouse. 

                              But let's get back to poor ready-to-pop Sydney, whose Third Trimester from Hell provides the movie with its most nuttiest, out-of-control moments.....

 

                  Gorehouds will no doubt groan in disappointment at the filmmakers' choices for a final shot.......but others may view the film's outrageous conclusion with jubilant glee......

                  .......it's Sydney's Sister Cecilia, after all, who gets in the last word......a triumphant blow to the Catholic Patriarchy, which like our own American GOP, and Donald Trump, strives to keep an iron grip on every woman's crotch. 

                    For those horror fans who love to wallow in this peculiar sub-genre, consider yourselves blessed with this one....3 stars (***).

    

          

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL 'LAW 'N DISORDER' EDITION.....

 

At long last, Trump's 'porn star hush money' trial begins.....Trump begs judge for a day off to attend his son's high school graduation....("Your Honor, please.....the kid needs me there. After all, I couldn't be there with him when he was an embryo and a newborn.....Stormy wanted around the clock humping, so I couldn't be in two places at once.....give a dad a break, will ya? I can make up for never attending the grad ceremonies for Tiffany, Don Jr. and that other idiot...")

Trump falls asleep during jury selection at his trial.....later claiming Hunter Biden and Deep State secret agents replaced his hemmoroid suppositories with Chloral Hydrate.....

Trump's rambling, demented Gettysburg speech defies all rational explanations.....in regard to his supposed Robert E. Lee quoting ("We can't go up the hill, me boys!") Trump declared he has conclusive proof that Gen. Lee was a distant relative of Captain Jack Sparrow, Long John Silver and the guy on the rum bottles.....

Speaker Of The House Johnson attempts to push through aid to Isreal and Ukraine while Marjorie Taylor Greene plots to oust him from the Speakership..... Greene gave Johnson fair warning that she'll either round up enough votes to kick him out and make a secret deal with Jewish Space Laser pilots to incinerate him if he picks up his gavel......

College students stage mass anti-semitic demonstrations on campus...fortunately for police and campus security, many of the protesters began to disperse, due to full diapers.....

Trump continues to constantly defy gag orders.....a group of prisoners in the infamous Rikers Island jail, sent a plea to the judge to sentence Trump to serve time there.....promising the only noise he'd be able to make was pig squealing........and would need several pillows to sit in a courtroom chair......

GOP thwarts attempts to stop their 1864 abortion ban, making Arizona women and their doctors open to criminal prosecution.....and also warned that 'Preggo Bounty Hunters' would be fully armed and deputized to hunt down pregnant women wherever they flee or try to hide,.....promising a $1000 dollar tax free payout for each bagged woman brought back alive......

'LISTEN FOR THE LIE'........A MOST LIKELY MURDER SUSPECT HELPS A PODCASTER FIND OUT IF SHE DID IT.....

 Listen For The Lie by Amy Tintera (2024)

      You might have picked up on the advance hype for this one and wondered if it's as good as everyone's raving about......

       Please allow me to let you know.

       It is. And I speak as a reader who's been led astray countless times by the gross hyperbole of authors' blurbs on the back of book covers.  (....muttering, "Did these people actually read the same book I did??"_)

         Nice to know this one's the real deal. 

         Lucy's come back to her home town of Plumpton Texas and that's no picnic considering she's the official town Pariah. 

          Everyone thinks she murdered her best friend Savvy way back when. Ever since they found her wandering about, suffering from memory loss and covered with Savvy's blood. Hmmmm.......

           She escaped charges due to lack of 'beyond-a-reasonable-doubt' evidence, but the town's found her guilty and even her parents, who still pledge their support, hold doubts as well. 

           But her grandmother lures her back to participate in Ben Owen's popular 'Listen For The Lie' true crime podcast.  Ben's in town to repeat the success of his first episode, where his candid, fearless interviewing of everyone involved in an unsolved case led to the killer's reveal. 

            And for his second season case, guess who he'd like to join him for some online chats to figure out if she really killed Savvy or not. 

           Strangely enough, Lucy's dying to know herself, but if it turns out it was someone else besides her, she might end up just plain dying.......

            When Lucy and Ben encounter the town's full roster of usual and unusual suspects, that includes Lucy's loathed ex-husband.with whom she shares a tortured, disturbing history. 

             But whenever she comes across old friends or people who think she got away with murder, Lucy's never afraid to let fly with her knife-sharp, laugh-out-loud observations, in both her narration and dialogue.         

           And that's what makes 'Listen For The Lie' (the book not the podcast) one of the best fun mystery reads so far this year.  I don't doubt for a minute that it'll pop up under lots of beach umbrellas this summer. 

             Oh, screw the beach.... here at BQ, I couldn't wait and preferred to dive into this one right away......but if your TBR list stretches forever, don't forget to throw 'Lies' in the bag along with the sunblock....

           Imagine the delight of discovering the author blurbs (including Stephen King's) were positively accurate. 5 stars (*****)

'CIVIL WAR'......THE ENDGAME OF TRUMP'S AMERICA......

 Civil War (2024).....wants to rock your senses to the core, while it dances around all the incendiary controversies it toys with.....

           And this is what passes for a political movie in our current toxic culture.....a multi-plex thrill-ride that exploits its central ideas without a single point of view of its own.....

           .....with one single exception. 

           Smack in the middle of the film comes one brief horrific sequence that serves up more genuine dread and terror than any Blumhouse horror movie could ever deliver.....

            And it stands out not only for its cringe-inducing power, it's the only scene where writer-director Alex Garland at last shows his hand, and reveals the disturbing truths you sensed the film was hinting at all the way through. 

            But for now, let's back up to the beginning.....

            A near future  American civil war's finally broken out. The besieged President (Nick Offerman) a Trumpian fascist imbecile now reaps the whirlwind for gifting himself with a 3rd term, disbanding the FBI and committing who knows how many other unconstitutional acts. 

           Covering the non-stop carnage is a veteran press contingent - photojournalist Lee (Kirsten Dunst), reporter Joel (Wagner Moura), and weary old newman Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson.

          They're joined, to Lee's anger and anxiety, by Jessie (Cailee Spaeny) a clueless, naive young wanna-be photographer. She looks like a 13 year old and doesn't know enough to wear a kevlar vest and helmet when wading into a battle zone.

           These four than embark on a perilous car trip to Washington D.C., where the would-be President-For-Life is on the verge of being overrun by the combined 'Western Forces' of California and Texas....

          California and Texas?  Say what now?

          Pardon us for thinking out loud but the whole time we spent watching 'Civil War', we couldn't help wondering, in what world do California and Texas join forces to overthrow the government?

          That almost sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit about Basic Training at the Western Forces boot camp, with the recruits divided up between surfers and cowboys.........

           But in 'Civil War', the WF army smells victory like napalm in the morning, and they appear to have access to vast amounts helicopters, tanks and assorted military hardware.......(possibly leftover inventory from 'Apocalypse Now'?)

           In scenes of a battle-ravaged, corpse strewn, war-torn America, Garland's direction excels in propulsive visual imagery. He's out to rub our noses in what an actual American war would look like......and puts his lead characters and us, the viewers directly in the line of fire.......

            Throughout the film, though, he carefully avoids all the political explanations for his literally explosive action sequences.....

            .....until we come to that horrifying single scene we mentioned earlier in this review.

           On the road, our journalist gang, to their everlasting misery, stumble upon some freelance, blatantly right-wing terrorists led by their worst nightmare.....a scary MAGA militia man (Jesse Plemons), with an agenda to execute anyone who doesn't immediately fit his category of true Americans. 

            And he's already piled up a body count to rival Nazi concentration camps.......

            The uncredited Plemons turns this episode into by far the most harrowing scene you'll ever squirm through.  He embodies every Trump Proud Boy, every rabid Trumpanzee and every foul idea ever spewed out of Baby Orange's diseased mind. 

            You can think of this sequence as an alternative history....a speculative snapshot of the U.S. if Trump's mob had actually succeeded in overthrowing the democratic transition of power on January 6th. 

            But after this brilliant, unnerving moment, the film's content to go back to pure, unadulterated combat slaughter.....a firefight, fireworks show as the surviving journalists follow the WF forces as they lay siege to the White House.  Woo-hoo, pass the popcorn....

           Worth seeing?   Yes. It's a fascinating, striking work by an always provocative filmmaker.......and whatever you may think of it, we can safely guarantee you'll hang on for dear life until it's over. 

           We must say that it's also a film that mostly settles for being a bang-pow-zowie stereophonic eye-popper........and only develops the courage of its convictions in one single scene.....you know the one we're talking about.....

           3 stars (***)

'THE FIRST OMEN'......WHEN THE DEVIL FIRST GOT HORNY.....

The First Omen (2024)    For those of you who've spent many a restless, sleepless night wondering how Gregory Peck and Lee Remick ended up with the devil's baby in the 1976 "The Omen".......

            ......at long last, here are all your questions answered. 

           Top marks if to anyone who guessed baby Damien came from that Ole Debbil raping a nun.......in the form of a jumbo jackal......(we mean the Devil was jackal, not the nun...)

           Ooops.....that was a spoiler, wasn't it? 

           Then again maybe not. 1974's "The Exorcist" kicked off an entire sub-genre of Catholicism horror movies......(and still going strong with the release of this new 'Omen' and 'Immaculata'.

          So let us return to the early 70's in Rome, where sweetly innocent Amercan novice nun Margaret (Nell Tiger Free) gets thee-self to a nunnery........

          Though under the watchful eye of her mentor Cardinal Lawrence (Bill Nighy), you can bet your rosary beads there's devilish doings amongst the holy sisters. 

          'Omen' fans will take comfort in this film remembering to include all expected tropes of the series......and these include....

           #1, Spectacularly gory, supposedly 'accidental' deaths, arranged by the Da Debbil with the intricate finesse of pranks gone horribly wrong......(that's right, Satan's still a wonderfully inventive practical joker, much like The Grim Reaper in all the 'Final Destination' films.....)

             #2. A glorious homage to the gruesome suicide of Damien's nanny from the 1976 film. Nothing juices up the adrenalin like one of Da Debbil's minions going out in a blaze of glory.....

             # 3. Deep, ominous liturgical chanting to set the mood, even throwing in a sampling of Jerry Goldsmith's Oscar-winning chorus-of-doom from the original film....

               But to really set itself apart from the other 'Omen' films this one comes up with doozy of a reason for getting Sister Margaret knocked up by Da Debbil......

              No, it's not an evil cabal of hardcore Satanists.......

              According to this movie, the plot to pump out an Anti-Christ comes from the Church hierarchy itself. The holy Deep State within the Church worries about plunging attendence numbers.......so what better way to bring people back into the fold than the threat of.....Da Debbil!

              Holy crap and Jesus H. Trump, is this movie telling us the Catholic Church cut a deal with Satan to front a public relations scam?  With posters of Da Debbil, reading, "Get thine asses back in church or I'm comin' to get ya!"?

               Brilliant. And so very much in the 1970's film atmosphere of a world beset by vast, "Parallax View" conspiracies. 

              Obviously, no surprises here, since the movie declared itself an origin story.....so it can only end with bouncing baby future Debbil Damian on his way to Gregory Peck.....but then nobody watches an 'Omen' movie for the clever plot turns....

              If you like this stuff, and you're an 'Omen' completist, then you surely don't want to miss this new installment. For you folks, it's 3 stars (***).

             But for anyone who finds Catholic Horror tiresome and overdone already, pray for a better movie to come along......

'RIPLEY'.....HIGHSMITH'S FAVORITE PSYCHO, SLOWED TO A CRAWL......

 

Ripley (2024 series-Netflix)   It's the third time around for an adaptation of Patricia Highsmith's "The Talented Mr. Ripley".....(after the French 1969 'Purple Noon' and the well known 1999 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' with Matt Damon Jude Law and Gwynth Paltrow)

          Pass this one by.

          For audiences, it's a tranquilizing slog, created primarily for critics, bloggers, assorted cinema culture-vultures...... and maybe the immediate families of the actors involved.

           For everyone else?  Pass it by. 

          It's entirely possible that buried deep, deep inside the 8 episode, nearly 8 hour series, there's a nifty little dark film noir strugging to get out. 

            But it's buried alive under the artsy-fartsy black-and-white cinematography, the endless repetitive shots of people climbing stairs and the overall pacing of an oil painting. 

            Since 'Ripley' moves with the speed of a dead turtle lying crushed on a highway, a viewer's given lots of time to notice the Zeppelin-sized plotholes and the near catatonic performances from the entire cast. 

             In case anyone nods off, a few episodes offer a wakeup call in the form of Ripley bashing someone's head in with a heavy glass ashtray. Then feel free to fall right back to sleep. 

             There's more stuff we could say.....but....nah. Why bother?

             An utter waste of time. 

                   If some creative You-Tuber hijacks all the footage and condenses a reasonable 90 minute movie out of it, we're more than willing to give it another chance. 

              But in its current form, it's unwatchable. It reeks of begging for awards it never will deserve. 

              What a blatant waste of time and talent. Zero stars (0).  If Tom Ripley were a real person and had to watch this.......he'd find the director and introduce his head to that big glass ashtray........