Thanksgiving (2023) ......takes the honor of becoming the third movie inspired by the fake trailers inserted within Quentin Tarantino's "Grindhouse" double feature.......(the other two being 'Machete' and 'Hobo With A Shotgun')
And the film also bestows the long overdue honoring of a beloved national holiday with its very own slasher movie. Because nothing evokes a holiday better than the sight of a madmen butchering people into little pieces......preferably teenagers.......
It's as American as apple pie......or in this case, freshly carved humans, oven roasted to perfection.
Who else could take us through this carnival of carnage but our new modern master of horror, splatter, torture porn, and spurting arterial sprays Eli Roth? No doubt the Titans Of Terror from previous generations (Tobe Hooper, Wes Craven, Herschel Gordon Lewis) must be smiling down upon Roth as he orchestrates the severing of heads and the spilling out of piles of intestinal coils.
Loyal and devoted to the genre, Roth and co-screenwriter Jeff Rendell, commence with a spectacular sequence to set up a worthy motive for the Slasher's future rampages. For their Thanksgiving killer, they create a perfect justification.....a Thursday night shoppers' riot at the Right-Mart, a small New England town's version of a WalMart.
Driven to a frenzy by the prospect of free waffle toasters and enraged by the sight of the owner's teen daughter and her friends already in the store, the crowd storms the place. In addition to the expected crushed-to-death fatalities, Roth regales us with bonus treats like a woman getting her scalp pealed off by a shopping cart. Clean up in Aisle 7........
So obviously our slashin' guy (whoever that might be) suffered a terrible loss in the riot. A year later, outfitted as a masked colonial pilgrim, he's out to put the hurtin' and bleedin' on everyone he holds responsible.....and that especially includes the coterie of teens whose presence in the store touched off the crowd......
Let the kills begin......and here's where every slasher movie must earn its spurs.....by the variety and imagination put into the slaughtering....
While we don't count ourselves as a hardcore fan of this genre, we'll go out on a limb (severed and chopped of course) to say that fanboys 'n fangirls should enjoy and approve the demise of those unlucky souls who come across the Thanksgiving carver......who's literally got an ax to grind.
How do we rate such a movie? There's no middle ground when it comes to slasher movies. Either you love 'em for what they are or you stay the hell away from them altogether. (We well remember Siskel and Ebert fuming and railing against the first batch of slashers when they began to hit the theaters.....) Therefore, we'll do one of our split ratings.....
For those who find this genre repugnant, inhuman and vile, Zero stars (*). Clearly.....or as younger folk might put it...."Duh!"
For those who embrace the 'slashers', consider "Thanksgiving' a 3 & 1/2 star entry (*** 1/2) You can trust Eli Roth, an expert purveyor of gore, to serve you up a full platter (or splatter) of holiday fare, soaked more in blood than gravy and piled up with freshly carved.....uh....no need to go on, do we?
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