Thursday, February 22, 2024

'BLOCKERS'.....A TURD SALAD WITH RAUNCH DRESSING.......



 Blockers (2018)    A week or so ago, BQ came across one of those breathless internet stories whose headline read ...NETFLIX SUBSCRIBERS1 TIME RUNNING OUT TO SEE THESE MOVIES BEFORE THEY'RE GONE FEBRUARY 29TH1

             In our never ending search for blog post material, we decided to take some time to check on a few of these titles due to depart the streaming service......particularly the ones that for some reason or other flew under our radar......

             We only wish "Blockers" had flown so low under our radar, it would remain non-existent forever .

             Co-produced by Seth Rogan, it's a dire, woeful stab at the kind of raunchy comedy that combines horny teens and idiotic adults......all of them thrown together in one frenzied 24 hour period. 

             We're invited to laugh uproariously at three high school senior girls (Katherine Newton, Geraldine Viswanathan, Gideon Adlon), besties who've made a pact to lose their virginity on Senior Prom Night.  But hot on their trail to thwart them are a couple of overprotective parents (John Cena, Leslie Mann) These supposed adults are driven to lunatic heights of humiliation in their quest to 'cock-block' their daughters dates from whippin' out their tube-steaks. Joining the hunt, but only in the interests of making sure his little girl does get some lovin' on her big night is her dad (Ike Barinholtz) a motor-mouthed divorcee only a tad saner than Cena and Mann...but not much.

             The film forces all the unfortunate actors involved to spew out mile-a-minute, worn out raunch that sounds lifted from the rejected script pages of a hundred other sex comedies. From its very first minutes, it wears you out with its exhaustive, desperate and futile attempts to be funny. 

              Not likely to happen......the woeful crowd who slapped this movie together work hard to insure their total estrangement from anything even remotely humorous. In pursuing that dubious goal, they more than just succeed....they excel. 


               And we'll not detail all the many 'things-you-can't-unsee' moments sprinkled (or tinkled) throughout this atrocity.......we're determined to let them stay unseen....

              As far as the news of "Blockers" leaving Netflix on Feb. 29.....cause for joyful celebration. We can only hope and pray it doesn't surface somewhere else.....Zero Stars (0)  Pass it by....

                          

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