The Matrix Resurrections (2021) We'd give ourself a migraine remembering the first three 'Matix' movies.....
The first one? Super cool. The second? Yeh...uh..ok...cool enough. The third? Oh, Christ, make it go away already.....
The fourth? A hybrid mess.....30 percent meta joking around, 30 per cent CGI landfill, 40 per cent Warner Brothers corporate greed.
Speaking of the WB, the suits were bound and determined to make another 'Matrix' with or without the participation of its creators, Lana and Lily Wachowski. Lana no doubt took that threat seriously so she stepped up to direct and co-write 'Resurrections'......
And wasted no time at all in opening the film with a most incisive 'F*** You' to Warners with game designers carping about WB's demand for more 'Matrix' games.....
But of course, we forgot to mention, though these poor suckers think they're existing in the real world as we know it, they're not......they and everyone else are just avatars in the 'Matrix', an artificial reality created by the vast, omnipotent machines of the real world, a dystopian universe wracked by wars between rebel humans and machines.
Pardus us, but if we attempt any more plot description of this film, we'll lose the will to live altogether.....
......other than to say that the supposedly deceased Neo and Trinity from the first three films (Keanu Reeves, Carrie Moss) discover they've been resurrected into Matrix-ians by the real world machines. Then onward to the endless slow motion Kung Fu battles and the even infinitely longer slow-motion gun battles.....with bullets moving slower than the pace of "The Power Of The Dog"......
That brought us back to the basic observation we had when watching the original trilogy......since all these interminable action-packed sequences take place in an artificial, computer constructed world, then what's at stake here for the participants?
Just like the superheroes in the onslaught of Marvel comic book movies, the Matrix versions of humans slam into walls at 80 miles an hour, fall off buildings 100 feet high or more and crawl out crashed and crushed vehicles without so much as a single boo-boo. Cause....yeh, we know.....they're merely representations of people.
Which begs the same question we ask now as we did then........as superbly crafted as these marathon fights are, why should we care for even one second about what's going on in them and how they'll end.....(if they even do.....we may have dozed off through some of 'em...
At the very least, we'll commend Lana Wachowski for her ambitious stab at having it every which way......taking well deserved jabs at Warner Brothers for wanting to will this unnecessary movie into existence and then doing the job for them herself.
If you feel you must endure it, as a 'Matrix' completist, stay for the very end of the typically life-deadening credit crawl of 3000 digital artists.......there's one final nasty little joke that truly sums up the entire project......
For that gag alone, we'll computer generate 1 star. (*). And that's as far we'll go......
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