Ready Or Not (2019) Though we used to regularly check them out, we don't spend a whole hell of a lot of time viewing horror movies......
Who could keep up them them all? Seems like there's twenty new ones released every single week....(a few go into theaters, but the rest of them settle into to streaming sites).
Not that we blame fledgling filmmakers for stacking them up like all-you-can-eat pancakes whenever they can scrape together a few bucks to produce them. Horror films have always been a prime way for hungry writers, directors and actors to get their foot in the door.......slap together an 85 minute scarefest and and sooner or later it finds a home, even if means landing on the "Mutant Grindhouse Garbage"" app on Roku.
If you asked why we picked "Ready Or Not" for a review, as opposed to the 50,000 other horror movies currently in release, we couldn't supply a rational explanation.......other than it popped up in front of us as we randomly scrolled through 'New movies on Hulu'........
Since it's been some time since we slurped up some grungy gory goodness, we impulsively jumped in.
To our utter surprise, we didn't find it a complete waste of time...and had ourselves a lip-smackin', popcorn muchin' bash watching a whole bunch of folks meet gloriously grisly ends.
Starts out with a more ambitious than usual set-up for a cheapo horror.......an already streetwise, hot-to-trot bride (an excellent Samara Weaving) marrying into a large, vastly wealthy family.....a dynasty built of the creation of board games.
This extra-creepy clan is comprised of all sorts of dysfunctional loons, and it's clear they hold little love in their cold hearts for their new in-law.....and this doesn't bode well for the bride. This bunch makes the The Addams Family look like teletubbies.
As a traditional family ritual they engage the confused bride in a required rite of passage for entry into the clan.......a game of hide and seek played throughout their mammoth mansion.....loaded with endless corridors and secret passageways.
The bride soon discovers that the game's a life-or-death proposition, with all her psycho in-laws hunting her with crossbows, axes, guns and all manner of lethal weapons. Which only confirms everyone's long held belief that rich people suck......
By this time, you can easily guess that the bride will function as that standardized trope of horror movies, the Final Girl......the girl who by pluck, luck, grit, and a newly found talent for doling out ultra-violence to her tormentors, will somehow prevail.
Therefore all the fun comes from the inventiveness and ferocity of the "kills".....and 'Ready Or Not' wastes no time in piling up a list of nicely repulsive deaths........and capped off with a showstopping display of special effects carnage guaranteed to make gorehounds drop their popcorn tubs to high-five each other with orgasmic abandon.
We'll single out two MVPs here......the beautiful and more than game Samara Weaving who gives the bride role an all out punishing, bravura turn......and the one time 1980's ingenue Andie MacDowell, really giving it her all as one of the insane in-laws.
So for those BQ horror fans who struggle to decide which one to pick out of the so many available.......we can only advise that you could do a lot worse than than this one......3 stars (***).
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