Deep Water (2022) Not entirely the worst idea.......after a 20 year absence since his last film (2002's "Unfaithful") 20th Century Fox dug into the mothball closet to pull out director Adrian Lyne, who ruled the 80's and 90's with high profile steambaths like '9 & 1/2 Weeks", "Fatal Attraction", "Indecent Proposal" and the "Lolita" remake.
Who better to modernize a 1957\\novel by Patricia Highsmith ("The Talented Mr. Ripley", "Strangers On A Train").....a story very much in the Highsmith universe, where no bad deed goes punished.......
Disney inherited the film after gobbling up Fox, but no one expected to breathe heavy at the sight of Ana de Armas fellating Ben Affleck on Disney Plus......that explains why you'll find it parked on Hulu.
As a great lover, curator and collector of guilty pleasure, we welcomed "Deep Water", a deep dysfunctional dive into the warped marriage of two pretty people with too much time, money and booze on their hands.
Vic (Affleck) has retired young on the wealth from his microchip that powers attack drones. He dotes on his precocious little daughter and loves playing the role of an ice cold, dead-eyed sociopath to terrorize young studs lusting for his smokin' hot nympho wife Melinda ( deArmas)
But is Vic just screwin' around with Melinda's would be boy toys or is he really capable of prying them off her by killing them?
And now comes to part where we force ourselves to shut up about what happens next, otherwise we'd spoil all the "you gotta be kiddin' me moments......(though we can't resist advising you to be on the lookout for a quiet but disturbing little exchange between Affleck and his little girl....all at once strangely funny and creepy beyond words....
But we can talk about the bizarre marriage-from-hell enacted by Affleck and de Armas, portraying a sick coupling of two toxic souls. Together, they're a minefield for anyone in their vicinity, their union fueled by simmering rage, psychotic jealousy......and at the end of day, something resembling love.....sort of....or their fractured notion of it..
True, the climax makes no sense whatsoever on multiple levels and the abrupt final shot looks like Adrian Lyne dozed off in the editing room.......but in a perpetually aroused thriller like this, getting there is all the fun, as long as the filmmakers don't forget to pile on the sex sleaze and psychosis.
Admit it, why else would we waste time watching it? And "Deep Water" piles on great big globs of sex, sleaze and psychosis....plus a bonus - slimy snails! (Don't ask...) Affleck does fine subtle work here as Vic, who's a sort of a Tom Ripley re-imagined as a suburban house husband.
But he can't help it if de Armas eclipses him as the overheated, libidinous Venus flytrap Melinda, always on the prowl for all night drinking and boinking......but not necessarily with her husband, who mostly glowers in silence as she cavorts with her latest admirer.
Since we can't remember the last time we wallowed in such an unabashed, junky sex thriller, we'll go as far as 2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2). For anyone who cares to indulge, we'd say sit back, relax and enjoy it for what is is.....a silly, feverish return to 1990's multiplex trash....junkaholics rejoice......
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