'SPENSER CONFIDENTIAL'.....A WAHLBERGER SERVED RAW AND BLEEDING

Spenser Confidential (2020)   We could barely hear this over the sound of late author Robert B. Parker rolling in his grave.........

            Yes, we'll admit to a lifelong love affair with Parker's beloved Boston P.I. Spenser and all the other wonderful quirky characters that inhabit his world........

             We even tolerate the faux Spenser novels continued by Ace Atkins, even when Atkins' laborious attempts to duplicate Parker's non-stop, razor-sharp witty dialogue fall way short.

             But we draw the line at this loud, lousy bastardization of the source material.......in which a few bare elements from an Atkins imitation Spenser novel were plucked out by that relentless two-man movie machine, director Peter Berg and star Mark Wahlberg.........

              As played by Wahlberg, this Spenser only shares the name of the original Parker creation. Now he's a disgraced ex-cop, fresh out of a stretch in prison.......and back in trouble as he takes it upon himself to uncover a massive conspiracy between corrupt cops and drug gangs........

              This movie's primary reason for existence is to dazzle us with the sight of Wahlberg engaging in endless, punishing fistfights with multiple assailants......

                Over and over and over again..........

                It's as if Wahlberg and Berg read the novels and the only thing they retained in their minds were the scenes of Spenser punching somebody.......

               (We're giving them too much credit, as we doubt either of them ever read a book in their lives....)

                Everything else you'd expect in a Spenser story........twisty plot, memorable characters, whipcrack dialogue......you, know, the stuff in the books........sorry, that stuff is way, way above Wahlberg and Berg's limited abilities.

                If you live to see Mark Wahlberg punch and get punched back......then we guess this would be nirvana for you.........cause that's  all this movie has to offer.....

                For BQ, it's an atrocious mess, plundered from some wonderful writing that this decidedly un-dynamic duo should've never gotten their grubby fingers on.

               Zero stars (0). Spit out this undercooked Wahlberger and send it back........