'HORROR EXPRESS'.....THE BRAINS GET DRAINED MAINLY ON THE TRAIN

Horror Express (1972)   Don't know why it took us so long to catch up with this one.......almost everybody's favorite, non-stop asskicking horror/sci-fi flick from the 1970's........

              Not to mention one of the most perfectly unhinged, insane little gems you'll ever find......

              Befitting its everything-but-the-kitchen-sink reputation, the film itself is an oddball mongrel of a movie.......concocted by an amalgamation of Brits, Americans and Spanish filmmakers.....and starring two legendary British horror icons, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.......

              Even better, the film presents these cinematic adversaries as a united team for the first time......and comes up with a doozy of an opponent monster for them to battle together......

              The mad, mad, mad, mad screenplay turns 'Murder On The Orient Express' into an off-the-rails sci-fi/horror free-for-all.......with a prehistoric alien life form running amuck on a train......sucking the brains out some passengers while turning others into zombie-fied minions.....

              As the train barrels through 19th century Siberia, the plot amps up the crazy just as fast......with the formless alien, who's been steadily working its up the earth's evolutionary scale, possessing a police inspector........(a huge step up from the ancient dead humanoid it sat in for a zillion years)

              Along for the ride, as if this movie needed anybody more nuts, is a Rasputin-like loony monk (Alberto de Mendoza, hamming it to the max).......this guy's so bonkers, the alien ignores him, realizing that this raving screwball doesn't have a single brain cell worth sucking out.......

              But plenty of other folks get a fatal peek at the alien's glowing stare, which leaves their own eyeballs fried egg-white and their noggins de-brained........until the movie pulls out yet one more Wild Card in its final section.....

              And that's none other than Telly Savalas as a brutal, smirking Cossack captain who hitches a ride on the train and thoroughly enjoys himself humiliating and slapping around the passengers.....(which doesn't sit too well with stiff-upper-lips Cushing and Lee, who've managed to maintain their dignity and decorum during the mounting body count.....)

              It's all breathless, outrageous stuff, as Savalas and his Cossack horde get turned into rampaging alien zombies as the trains hurtles on.......toward a cliff......(where else?)

               If you nurture a lifelong love of fantasy-sci-fi-horror, this one's essential viewing.....and always a joy to re-visit.  BQ says don't delay, hop on 'Horror Express'.......the only crazy train you can take in the quarantined safety of your own home........4 stars (****).