"BABY TEETH"......THE BADASS SEED.....AN ALL NEW ENFANT TERRIBLE.....

Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage (2018)   Who doesn't love a good, juicy psycho-killer-child story?

                Uh....well.....probably a whole bunch of people......who shouldn't continue reading this post.....

                  Any story like this automatically has to stand in comparison to the Big Mamma-Jamma of all psycho-killer-children, Patty McCormack's pig-tailed, sickly-sweet, rampaging sociopath in the 1956 film "The Bad Seed".

                    You gotta love Patty for her pre-pubescent dedication to racking up a body count.....in the course of the film, it's implied she's already offed an old lady by tripping her down the stairs.....and then proceeds to fatally bludgeon a classmate to death and immolate her apartment's nosy handyman.

                     This sits not well with her mom (Nancy Kelly) who spends the entire film wailing, moaning and indulging in hysterical fits at the thought of spawning such a monster.....

                      In fact, the entire cast of the movie, imported directly from the Broadway play, performs at the top of their lungs for the upper balcony seats........they reproduce the play as if they're doing it for the Super Bowl Half Time.........(for us, that's part of the movie's crazy charm....)

                     We don't want make this post longer than a Marvel Avengers movie by detailing all the evil tykes who followed in Patty's wake (we promise to deal with them individually)........so let's get directly to the New Kid On The Block.......Hanna from "Baby Teeth".

                      An adorable 8 year old. whip-smart, creative Hanna confounds her loving parents by having yet to attain speech.

                       Oh, she can talk alright when she wants to.......but generally chooses silence.......unless she's freaking out her mom by pretending she's possessed by a burned-at-the-stake Medieval French witch. Mom hates when that happens......

                        She dotes on loving daddy Alex, a clueless dope who works all day, therefore oblivious and deep in denial about his kid being a lethal, loony wack-a-doodle,

                        Mom Suzette, however, is stuck at home on Li'l Devil Daycare duty since there's no school Hanna can't arrange to get herself kicked out of......for all manner of disturbing acts.

                        And it doesn't take long for Suzette to figure out that Hanna's master plan involves bumping off Mommy so Hanna can have Daddy all to herself. And the sweetie's schemes involves all sorts of fun stuff, like weaponized M & M's and claw hammers.......

                        Torn between love and fear of her own child, Suzette plays an ever dangerous cat-and-mouse game with the sly, evil child.........finally resulting in the inevitable horror, blood and gore you'd expect and demand from such a scenario......

                         Entertaining?  Up to a point..........

                         All through the book, we hoped and prayed that author Stage would somehow come up with a climax that put a fresh, unique spin on this well-worn genre.....(otherwise, why publish a book version of this tale, when movies have thoroughly tread this ground......)

                         In 1956, iron-willed Puritans still supervised movie studio content under the censorious Production Code. A child killer was way, way off the rails for them, so they forced Warner Brothers to tack on a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina to "The Bad Seed". (....and an even more lunatic comedic curtain call, with Nancy Kelly stepping out of character to roundly spank Patty McCormack for all those naughty, naughty murders......but again, now a part of the film's charm)

                       Unfettered by any rules imposing such a moral compass, Stage merely settles for the same standard, by-the-numbers climax that all subsequent Evil Child movies adhered to, once they were free of the Production Code.

                       So after all the bloody angst, you arrive at a closing chapter that will only elicit a ...."that's it? That's all there is?"......an ending that begs for impatient sighs and yawns.

                      But up until then, BQ won't deny having a creepy, goose-bumpy old time with this book.  So we'll stab out 2 & 1/2 stars (** 1/2) for "Baby Teeth"  and a 4 star (****) basket of kisses 'n hugs (Patty's favorite phrase) to "The Bad Seed".  These kids are definitely not allright........and we wouldn't have 'em any other way........