'LIFEFORCE'......ZOMBIES AND OUTER SPACE VAMPIRES, OH MY.....

Lifeforce (1985)   Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, the 'Go Go Boys' of shlock factory Cannon Films, loved making loads of cheap movies in a hurry.......

        They ruled the 1980's and video store shelves with their seemingly never ending supply of Grade C, semi-grindhouse flotsam. 

         But the boys threw caution (and their usual poverty budgets) to the wind with 'Lifeforce' a truly beyond-all-comprehension mashup of sci-fi and horror. 

          The result is a sight to behold.......and not to be missed.  Big beautiful spaceships, Haley's Comet, outer space vampires, giant alien bats, skeleton zombies that explode into dust, mass zombie slaughters in the streets, Sir Patrick Stewart having hysterical fits......and a breathtaking Space Vampire girl who wanders through the film while full-frontal nude. 

          Don't ask if any of this makes sense. Just wallow in the sheer madness of it all........

          First thing to amaze you.....how many top-of-the-line people involved themselves in the making of this movie....

         Special effects master John Dykstra (of "Star Wars") handled the outer space stuff. Henry Mancini provided a robust symphonic score (way out his usual comfort zone), and directing all the mania - none other than 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'  and (supposedly) director of 'Poltergiest' horrormeister, Tobe Hooper. 

          Woo hoo!! Let the lunacy loose!

          We start inside Haley's Comet, where astronaut explorers unwisely poke around inside a 150 mile long alien spaceship they found parked in the comet's tail. Uh oh.....it's a space vampire hangout, with dead giant bats and three naked human types in suspended animation. Double Uh oh.....Mission Control then loses contact with that very unlucky crew.....

          Another rescue crew finds the first bunch all shriveled up into skeletal husks, but brings back the still perfectly preserved naked people (one of whom's a hubba-hubba, where-have-you-been-all-my-life girl (Mathilda May).

           From that point on, all vampiric-zombie hell breaks out in London. To the horror of authorities, Mathilda and her two boytoys go about their business of sucking the life out whoever they come across.  Pretty soon, the whole of the city's infested with life sucking zombies shredding the populace. Yippeeee!

            We loved the odd collection of actors assembled to pop their eyes at all these crazy, gory events.....some of them more than others. Steve Railsback, as the first crew's sole survivor, spends most of the film in a state of sweaty hysteria. Patrick Stewart gets the good sport award, since the plot forces him into constant screaming fits (and much worse) after he's been soul-sucked.  And fellow distinguished actor Frank Finlay (of Richard Lester's 'Musketeers' movies) fully savors his moment to go batshit bonkers like everybody else. 

              Pure unadulterated Guilty Pleasure Goodness, from beginning to end.

               What else can we say? You're either all in with this manic carnival or just stay the hell away from it. 

               For fans of everything we described in this review, 'Lifeforce' is a 4 star (****) bonanza......especially those who hold fond memories of the Go Go Boys and their Cannon-ized output. 

SANDY QUILL'S GOT MORE OF THE HOTTEST NEW BESTSELLING BOOKS REVIEWED.! CHECK OUT BQ'S BROTHER BLOG!

         Want the latest scoop on the new thrillers guaranteed to keep you glued into an all-night book binge?

          You need to head right over to www.thesandyquill.blogspot.com for The Sandy Quill's full reviews of two recently released page-turners.......see you there!

'A SLOW FIRE BURNING ' & 'THE OTHER WOMAN'......TWISTIN' THE NIGHTS AWAY WITH TWISTY THRILLERS.....

           It comes as no great revelation that when it comes to psychological domestic thrillers, it's all about THE BIG TWISTS THAT SHOULD LEAVE YOU SPEECHLESS......OR AT LEAST ABLE TO SCREAM OUT, "WHAT THE **** DID I JUST READ?!!"

            Here's a brand new new one fresh off the presses, and one that's been around for awhile......

A Slow Fire Burning (2021) is Paula Hawkins' eagerly awaited new nail-biter after she set the thriller lists on fire with "The Girl On The Train"......

             This one features a small cast of suspicious characters who may or may not have something to do with the brutal murder of an obnoxious young guy living on a houseboat.

              Principal among this gang is Laura, a young trainwreck damaged both physically and emotionally.....(but like the woman in "The Girl On The Train", you can't help but  root for her......)

              Therefore we turn our attention to the less appetizing of the suspects......Carla, the dead guy's niece with a strange tragic backstory of her own and Miriam, the busybody neighbor pokin' her nose in everybody's beeswax.......(and you'd better believe Miriam's holding on to even sicker secrets than the other two women. 

               So whodunit and why?  Of course, that's for you to figure out, dear reader.......and if you gravitate to this kind of thriller, it's convoluted and twisty enough, with enough surprises sprinkled through it to keep you turning the pages.

                For us, the book lacked that immediate Hitchcock-like vibe of "The Girl On The Train" that riveted readers and sent it to the top of charts and and a movie deal.   We found this one just...uh...okay at best, a 3 star (***) time passer if you're stuck on a long plane flight.

The Other Woman by Sandie Jones (2018) was strictly an impulse grab off the library shelves we wandered through on a lazy, rainy afternoon. 

                Maybe we snagged it because its premise, compared to the labyrinthine plots of other thrillers, sounded incredibly simple and direct.......

                Girl meets new Hot Boyfriend.......Girl Fall For Hot Boyfriend.......Girl falls afoul of Hot Boyfriend's Mother-From-Hell.......Mother-From-Hell gaslights Girl but Hot Boyfriend won't believe his Mum's a Mother-From-Hell.

                 And that's basically the book, with very few detours, unless you count the Girl's forbidden flirtation with the Hot Boyfriend's kinder, gentler brother. 

                 The major problem in hooking a reader here is our poor gal Emily, who spends the entire book enduring a whole lot of duplicitous crap from the Mother-From-Hell, as well as nasty temper flareups from the Hot Boyfriend she's supposedly head over heels in love with.....

                 Which leaves us wondering why she doesn't kick both the awful Mom and her not-so-hot son to the curb long before the story lurches to its climax......(never a good look when an author's trying to generate sympathy for her....)

               But hold on the the very end, because author Sandie Jones delivers an outrageous whopper of a 'YOU GOTT BE ****IN' ME' TWIST.

                We're still not entirely sure that twist is in any way believable for a minute, but we stood properly awed by the sheer audacity of it........and shook our head in laughing admiration.

                 It's also a much faster and overall more entertaining read than the grim "A Slow Fire Burning", so we'd say it's a better recommendation for that long plane flight, (or a few cozy Fall nights at some.....4 stars (****).

               

'SUCH A QUIET PLACE' & 'THE THERAPIST'....SUSPECT THY NEIGHBORS....

            Went on a thriller binge this past weekend......well, what else would we do, since we've not one ounce of interest in the Olympics?

              And what a duo to read back-to-back.  Spankin' new twin thrillers from two established purveyors of the genre, Megan Miranda and B.A. Paris.

                ......with both of their books set in a small cluster of houses beset by murder and a collection of neighbors with secrets, suspicions......and possibly more murderous intent in mind.

                   Sounds like fun, no?  Hmmmm.......yes and no.

                  Let's deal first with Megan Miranda's Such A Quiet Place (2021).

                  Back in 7/7/19 we reviewed Miranda's previous effort "The Last House Guest", and it left us less than thrilled.  The same problems that afflicted that book remain present here......a complete lack of even one sympathetic character to latch on to.

                    The residents of  'Hollow's Edge', a little semi-circle of homes in a picturesque college community, are a fairly unlikeable lot. And that includes the book's narrator Harper Nash, whose former housemate Ruby was convicted of murdering a couple of their fellow neighbors by gassing them with carbon monoxide. 

                    To make matters interesting, as they say, Ruby's been sprung due to legal technicalities and promptly parks herself back in Harper's house with payback revenge on her agenda, since she believes the neighbors conspired to frame her for a crime she claims she didn't commit.  

                     Which would mean, if Ruby's on the level, there's still a killer loose among them......

                      Here's where we'll stop on the plot stuff, since the book delivers a whammy of  new development halfway through, which then leads to the BIG TWIST waiting in the final pages. 

                      In thrillers like this that promises all sorts of surprises, we're willing to tolerate the pile-up of obnoxious characters if the pacing zips along and the BIG TWIST  is clever enough to make it worth our while.

                     As in her last book, Megan Miranda's pacing is so-so. But we kind of liked the twist on this one, a worthy stunner dripping with irony, with that extra sting you'd find in an old episode of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents TV show. 

                      If the author had cared enough to make a reader care about these characters, the book's finish might have delivered a modicum of sadness and tragedy, but the book never rises above the mechanics of its mystery.   2 and 1/2 stars (** 1/2) at best.

                      Speaking of shifty neighbors, one of whom was murdered , let's move on to B.A. Paris's The Therapist (2021.

                       For this one, we hop across the pond to Merrie Olde London, where Alice and Leo, a co-habiting but unmarried couple move into  a gated little cluster of houses dubbed  "The Circle". 

                       To Alice's everlasting dismay, she learns that Nina, a therapist and previous occupant of the house, was brutally murdered, supposedly by her husband who later committed suicide while in prison.

                      ........begging the question, of course,....did the hubby do it? Or is the real killer still lurking among one of the neighbors? 

                      Alice, who's carrying some heavy past emotional baggage of her own, unwisely launches her own haphazard amateur investigation into the murder......which, as we thriller readers well know, will eventually lead to the BIG TWIST..

                      Once again, we're presented with a cast of uninteresting usual suspects, most of whom should wear a 'HELLO, I'M AN OFFICIAL RED HERRING' badge on their clothing....(but you'll notice we used the phrase 'most of  whom'....)  And Alice herself serves as a whiny, neurotic, pain-in-the-ass would be sleuth, whose endless ruminations about who did what and why become wearisome in a hurry.

                      And we know your next question. What about the BIG TWIST?

                      It's a corker of a twist, alright, leading to the expected violent showdown.  And it takes author Paris practically an entire follow-up chapter to explain all the details of its disturbing, but rather far-fetched backstory.

                      The problem here........ we're just not sure the twist, clever and outrageous as it is, was worth slogging through the long, long series of Alice's tedious interactions with the neighbors.......so we've no choice but to hand this one the same 2 and 1/2 star (** 1/2) rating. 

                      But if you're like us and gravitate toward thrillers that offer a less than beautiful day in the neighborhood,  chances are you'll want to check these out.......

'CLOSING COSTS'......EXTREME HOME UN-IMPROVEMENT.....

 Closing Costs by Bracken MacLeod  (2021)     This just published thriller, of which BQ got an advanced copy of a few months back,  seems like a combo of a lost chunk of 'Pulp Fiction' (minus the snappy dialogue) and a house-flipping episode on one of those home improvement cable channels.

              So what we have here is an attractive young couple, newly upscale, who move out to a spacious suburban home in the middle of freakin' nowhere. Their upscale-ness comes from a vast stash of ill-gotten funds they've stumbled into......and illegally helped themselves to.   (At this point, the reader would start silently muttering..."this will not bode well...")

              And sure enough it doesn't.  The new house, exhaustively refurbished by the previous owners, proves to be ground zero for a whole variety of brutal home invaders.. They may have varying motives and agendas, but they've got this much in common - they're all lethal, violent, well armed, short-tempered. and stage their home invasions more or less at the same time.

 
             Wow, talk about bad timing.....and the nearest neighbor is away on vacation.

             What a bummer for our young couple.......whom, as you might expect, endure chapter after chapter of terrifying, extreme physical punishment at the hands of  their variety of tormentors.

               While the first half of the book engages in some backstory time-shifting, by the time you're halfway into it , the story becomes a drawn out survive-against-impossible-odds ordeal.  And the last third settles into a very, very long hunt-chase-fight-escape duel that might leave you as exhausted as the participants. 

              We'll have to admit though, author MacLeod had us racing through these chapters to see how things go for this hapless couple, even if these characters aren't particularly sympathetic or well-developed.  His suspense and action sequences  do the job of making your heart race faster. 

               As long as you don't expect all sorts of twists and surprises (it's not that kind of thriller)) "Closing Costs" is moderately entertaining.  And for anyone who loves a prolonged, extended and gory showdown with an especially loathsome, villain, then this book does deliver that, with a vengeance..3 stars (***)

'THE GOOD SISTER'.....UNRELIABLE SIBLINGS, DARK SECRETS AND LIBRARY QUERKINESS.......

 The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth (2021)    Welcome once again to the world of domestic thrillers, where nobody's what they seem and probably every narrator involved is misleading you......sometimes they're going this without a clue, or sometimes they're doing it out of pure malignant intent. 

            The fun of reading books like this comes from trying to figure out who's really doing what and why.

             This book didn't seem that much like a thriller through its first third - more like a comfy-cozy unlikely romance between two lovable oddballs. Our duo consists of Fern, a sweet, vulnerable autistic librarian and Rocco, a kindred nerd who's a millionaire tech genius living off the grid a la "Normadland".

              ( For an extra cuteness factor, Fern dubs Rocco "Wally" since he resembles the European version of the "Where's Waldo" guy)

               Don't worry thriller fans, there's darkness afoot here in Fern's joined-at-the-hip relationship with her fraternal twin Rose, who's spent a lifetime (if you believe Rose's journal entries) protecting Fern from the poisonous psychological abuse of their monstrous mother.)  Mom's currently living out her remaining years in a nursing home after a brain damaging drug overdose.

              Rose's helicoptering control over Fern comes from the terrible, terrible thing Fern did when the sisters were children.......and per our policy, we've arrived at the point where we refuse to go into any more plot details or twists 'n turns.....for fear of spoiling all the juicy fun of discovering it all for yourselves.......

               We will tell you that "The Good Sister" delivers a fully loaded package of sharp wit, suspense aplenty and all sorts of Big Reveal surprises in its final chapters. (and even a few heartrending moments that might cause you to dab an eye.....)

                It made us do what every good thriller should do.......made us stop what we were doing, skipped the TV watching and settle down to swish those pages fast to find out how things will turn out. 

                 And that makes this book a 4 star (****) experience for sure.  BQ says put it on the top of you 'coolest summertime reads' list.

'WHEN THE STARS GO DARK'......ONCE AGAIN, A DAMAGED SEARCHER OF ABDUCTED CHILDREN.....

 When The Stars Go Dark by Paula McClain (2021)     We felt the same aura of Deja Vu reading this as we experienced while plowing through Ashley Audrain's sociopath-child drama "The Push" a few weeks ago.....(see the post of 5/13/21).

            Simply.....we've read this story before. Multiple times.

            Paula McClain may or may not have been aware of the dozens of thrillers that deal with a severely traumatized law enforcement officer (or sometimes an independent freelancer) who specializes in rescuing kidnapped kids from their odious predators. 

             We assume she felt that with her primary talent for historical literary fiction, she'd bring some gravitas, deeper psychological probing,  more depth of character and documentary-like feel to this genre, along with the thrills that readers expect in this kind of story.

              And just as Audrey Audrain bent the the killer-kid genre to her will, turning it into a heartrending tragic drama, McLain brings all those literary fiction strengths to this novel set in 1993, centering around Anna Hart, a missing persons detective barely recovered from her own horrendous personal tragedy.  

              Hart, also a survivor of an equally terrible childhood, seeks down-time solace in  her home town of Mendecino on the Northern California coast,  She finds the town rocked by the disappearance of a  15 year old girl, the daughter of a movie star actress. And other girls from neighboring communities have been taken as well, including the real life Polly Klaas of Petaluma, the 12 year old abducted at knifepoint from a slumber party at her house.

               Volunteering to assist in the Mendecino investigation sends Hart down a tortuously slow investigative path, littered with obstacles like the girl's strange, uncooperative parents, a slew of blind alley clues and suspects and the ghosts and sad memories of her childhood. 

              Sorry to report, all of this heaviness and internal angst makes for a slow, uninvolving read and we frequently put the book down whenever our interest and patience wore out.  Which it did. Often. 

              By the time McClain remembers to end the story, the abductor reveal and showdown come off as unsurprising, perfunctory and hastily slapped together in the last few chapters. That's when we let out a long sigh and wondered if this book was at all worth the time spent reading it.  

              We've pointed out before in other reviews that literary fiction authors who take the plunge into thriller territory are choosing to walk a thin tightrope over a deep canyon.........thinking they can hold their readers' attention as they layer up the chills with their seriousness of purpose and profound insights into the human condition. 

               It's a tough balancing act and many are not up to that task. And neither is "When The Start Go Dark"   2 stars (**).  

'THE PUSH'....A POSTPARTUM MOM AND HER BAD SEED......

The Push by Ashley Audrain (2021)   First thing we should mention.......we're grateful to the publisher of this novel for not mis-labeling it and wrongly marketing it as a thriller., even though thriller tropes appear in it from time to time.

             It is exactly what it's touted as - a disturbing psychological drama.

             Readers may mistake it for a thriller initially, since it covers the same well worn ground that dozens of books, films and TV shows have dealt with - a parent coping with the horrendous revelation that their child may be a murderous sociopath. 

            You can trace such plots back to its ancestor,  the 1954 William March novel "The Bad Seed" and the subsequent hit Broadway play and film adapted from it.

             While "The Bad Seed" play and film were pitched at the high hysteria level of a horror tale, author Ashley Audrain has way more on her mind than goosing an audience with the scary spectacle of homicidal child. 

               She digs deep into the tortured,,bedeviled mind of Blythe Connor whose inability to establish the bonds of motherhood with her baby girl Violet gnaws at her.  Blythe can't comprehend what or who's to blame - her own failure to properly love and nurture her daughter......or maybe there's something terribly wrong with Violet, a fundamental piece of humanity in her that's missing, which sets her apart from other children.       

             Cleverly, that's the very same question a reader will ask as the novel proceeds on its sad path, filled with tragic, heartbreaking moments and events. (Which per our policy we'll not talk about here. You need to immerse yourself in this story yourselves.....)

               "The Push" is a gripping read alright........but we're not entirely sure what to make of the book's last sentence,  where Audrain delivers what she no doubt thought of as one last kick in the teeth.

                 Depending on how you feel about the rest of the book, it may strike you as expected and inevitable or a facile, cheap ploy to garner the kind of attention the book wasn't seeking in the first place.

                 It's a deeply unsettling story, so prepare yourselves for a strange journey into this peculiar heart of darkness inhabited by a mother and her daughter.  A creepy place to be.....4 stars (****)

               

'FALLING'.....FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS, IT'S GONNA BE A LETHAL FLIGHT.......

Falling by T.J. Newman (release date   7/6/21   Now here's something we haven't done yet......give all you wonderful BQ visitors the coming attraction scoop on one of the upcoming hottest reads of the summer. Mark that July date on your calendars, 'cause you you want to hit the bookstore and grab this one as soon as it's on the shelves......

               Our vast thanks to NetGalley for an advanced copy of what we think will be the all time best beach-iest Beach Book of this or any other summer. (or any other season, in fact)

           We're exhausted as we write this......from gobbling the book up in one sitting which stretched into the way too early hours of the morning.  "Falling" reminded us of every single Bruce Willis-Harrison Ford-Arnold Schwarzenegger-Sylvester Stallone high octane, non-stop action thriller that ruled the 1990's. 

             You will definitely want to tighten up your seat belts and make sure your tray's in the upright position for this one.......and make sure to pay attention to the flight attendant's little safety procedure demonstration too.

               The premise here is damn near irresistible,  The pilot of a fully packed jet passenger plane in mid-flight finds himself offered a horrific choice by a terrorist who's taken his wife and children hostage at their home -either deliberately crash the plane or his whole family dies at the terrorist's hands. 

                 While the family-in-peril suspense heats up on the ground level, on the plane an unlikely trio of Scooby-gang flight attendants desperately try to save the plane and defend its passengers.... one of whom may well be an on board terrorist accomplice. 

                 We would not dare spoil 'the onslaught of shocking twists, surprises and reversals of fortune that spill out as this wild tale races to its conclusion.  This book had us tearing through the pages so fast, it probably generated a breeze.  If we weren't afraid of smearing up the Kindle, we would've read this while munching through one of those giant movie theater tubs of buttered popcorn, the kind you need to take out a second mortgage on to buy. (We'll just have to wait for the film version to indulge in that particular pleasure....)

              To say it more simply, "Falling" is unquestionably a 5(*****) star theme-park, upside-down rollercoaster thrill ride that you do not want to miss, a most definite FIND OF FINDS.

                  We can't even remember when we had this much pure, unadulterated fun from a reading experience...... and we can only wonder about T.J. Newman, the former bookseller and flight attendant who  wrote it.......what in the hell can she do for an encore after this?   We can hardly wait.

BQ TAKES THE VACCINE-IC TOUR! REVIEWS DIRECT FROM BINGING THROUGH MODERNA......

               Sorry to have missed posting yesterday, but we found ourselves caught up in multiple tasks.....a state car inspection that dragged on for four hours and trip to complete our COVID resistance with a second shot of the Moderna vaccine. 

               In the midst of dealing with bouts of woozy fatigue brought on by this booster injection, we settled down to watch.....well.....anything and everything.....

                Starting with......

                The Relic (1997)    No better movie to watch when your brain cells are itching to take you on a trip to nappy time......

                 A four legged jumbo reptilian monster gallops through Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History, snacking on patrons, employees, swat team cops and a host of city dignitaries gathered for a premiere exhibit opening. 

                  Can cutie-pie scientist (Penelope Ann Miller) stop the rampaging beast?  Once she kicks off her heels and runs around the museum in a short skirt and black stockings......you bet your diorama she can!

                 And like all genuine movie monsters, this scaly baby, when he finally confronts the too adorable Penelope, just wants a little oral foreplay with his lengthy, gooey forked tongue.  (which makes makes him the Most Likely Carnivorous Creature To Be Unfriended On Facebook) 

                 From the master of  improbable wise-ass thrillers Peter Hyams.......working at the very top of his limited game, such as it is.....3 stars (***)

                  Later by Stephen King (2021)   This is one of those little tasty pulp novellas that Uncle Stevie feeds us rabid fans itching for his next doorstop blockbuster book to come out. 

                (Kind of like when our mom let us nosh on a fresh roll before dinner started.....)

                Simple enough premise.....little Jamie sees dead people not long after they pass on. Since being dead leaves them with no further use for lying, they always answer Jamie truthfully when he puts a direct question to them.....

                 That supernatural talent puts the kid in the toxic path of Liz, his mother's ex-lover. Liz is a corrupt, drug-dealing, drug addicted cop who periodically abducts Jamie to commune with the dead so she can solve cases and seize a huge drug stash for herself. 

                  Little does Liz know Jamie's being haunted by one of the corpses he chatted with, a serial mad bomber whose spirit has been taken over by an even more unspeakable demon. 

                  Breezily funny and scary as hell, it's a snappy appetizer from the master chef of horror.  4 stars (****)

                   One Million B.C. (1940)    Hollywood's first ugga-ugga-ooga-ooga caveman epic, filled with cute babes in skimpy leather mini-skirts and dinos played by heavily accessorized iguanas.

                   Chunky beefcake slice Victor Mature plays Tumak of the Rock people. And befitting their name, they're dumb as rocks and their lives tend to be brutal and short. 

                    On the outs with his clan, the Tum-inator stumbles upon the more civilized and way smarter Shell People.......and hooks up with Loana, a sweet little Shell girl who takes up the formidable  task of teaching humanity and table manners to the not house-trained Tum-boy.

                    On the rocky road to love, our prehistoric dynamic duo have to fend off a slew of saurians who look more like escapees from the lizard tanks at the neighborhood pet store.......(including one pathetic junior Tyrannosaurus played by a barely ambulatory hand puppet.)

                     It's great dumb fun to watch for all lovers of cheesy old sci-fi-fantasy flicks, but naturally we much prefer the 1966 Hammer films remake, which featured cool Ray Harryhausen stop motion dinos and the eye-bulging sight of Raquel Welch's superstructure in a fur bikini.  (more on that one at a later date)

                    For this 1940 version.......we'll rock out 2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2)

                   We'll return tomorrow with more stuff.....see you then!

'MOTHER MAY I'....ONCE AGAIN, A PERFECT FAMILY UNDONE BY THE PAST

 Mother May I by Joshilyn Jackson (2021)    Let us now return to the land of the domestic thriller, where a wealthy family stocked full of perfect parents and adorable kids is ripped asunder by a revenge-fueled psychotic nursing a serious grudge from years gone by.......

             The pitfalls of thrillers like this happen when the author indulges in too much psychological blah-blah-blah internal thoughts and monologues. 

              Some authors know how to successfully balance the thrills, chills, and twists with the woe-is-me, pearl-clutching, handwringing of the victimized characters.

              Other authors fall down the rabbit hole of their characters endless, anxious musings and never crawl out again. The result slows their books down to an almost dead stop and encourages thriller readers to flip through the pages to get to the good stuff.

                Joshilyn Jackson comes dangerously close to this rabbit-hole territory, which tends to make you aware that her key player, Bree Cabbat makes a whole lot dumb, foolhardy decisions.

                Bree's got the standard thriller perfect family unit. Rich handsome lawyer husband, two cute teen and pre-teen daughters, and a brand new bouncing baby boy. 

               Enter a decrepit, witch-like crone who kidnaps the baby boy while the lawyer hubby's out of town. The cancer-stricken crone, with a heavy revenge agenda, demands Bree attend a posh party held by the husband's law firm......and secretly drug one of her husband's friends who's a fellow partner in the firm. 

               But drug him with what?  And why?

               Of course, we'll say no more, since all manner of nasty twists and turns ensue, all of it related to a terrible event from the husband's past. 

                As you might imagine, much angst and emotional agony permeate the story, which has the higher aspirations of becoming a profound examination of family bonds.....or lack thereof.

                Overall, we bound it a decent read, with a shocking last act surprise that brings everything to a blood-soaked full circle. And to Jackson's credit, she knows when to stop the internal yakkity-yak and move the story along. 3 stars (***).

'YOU LOVE ME'.....OUR FAVORITE PSYCHO FINDS LOVE ON A HALLMARK ISLAND.....

 You Love Me by Caroline Kepnes (2021).....continues, for the third time, the romantic and sometimes lethal misadventures of Joe Goldberg, the author's undefeatable sociopath-stalker-murderer.

              As in the two previous books, "You" and "Hidden Bodies" (both turned into miniseries), former New York bookseller Joe falls obsessively in love, which never bodes well for either the designated object of his affection or anyone in her circle who would dare thwart him. 

             The subversive delight of these books comes from the people who see through Joe's masquerade as a normal empathetic human. They themselves are invariably insufferable, obnoxious, self-absorbed entitled jerks, so when Joe's forced to take them off the playing board, one by one, you find yourself rooting for him.

              Sooner or later (usually sooner), these assorted creeps who stand between Joe and his latest dreamgirl end up kidnapped and/or murdered and somehow Joe escapes a world of complications, troubles, and most importantly capture and imprisonment. 

             Not that it ever seems to do him any good in the long run.......

             Caroline Kepnes, knowing she's got a goldmine in Joe, returns to all the beats and tropes she established in the first two books. (You can consider Joe as a more up-to-date version of Patricia Highsmith's Tom Ripley)

               After his disastrous love-stalking of Beck in "You" and Love Quinn in "Hidden Bodies", Joe tries moving to a sleepy little picture-postcard island off the Northwest Pacific coast, because it reminds him of 'Ceder Cove' in the Hallmark Channel series.

              He instantly falls head-over-heels for Mary Kay DiMarco, the town librarian, but like his previous obsessions, she come fully equipped with a host of obstacles in his path......a teen daughter, a raging feminist best friend, a has-been rock musician husband and his motivational guru brother, and a repulsive crossfit-crazy neighbor.

                Even worse, Joe finds himself blackmailed and shadowed by a Private Eye would-be screenwriter hired by Love Quinn's family to keep him on a short leash.....and keep him from piling up any more bodies.

                 What a foolish thought.  And here's where Kepnes cleverly tampers with the formula set down in her previous entries. Joe desperately wants to mimic sane behavior as best he can and keep his hands unbloodied.  And Kepnes finds a way accommodate him and yet still rack up the usual high body count.   Not without great cost, though, as Joe endures so much physical punishment and reversals of fortune, he seems more like Job than Joe. 

                After three such books, you'll either find Joe's tribulations repetitive and tiresome or you won't be able to wait to get your hands on a fourth book. 

                 You can count us among the latter. Kepnes keeps the proceedings fast, darkly funny and laced with some of the most juicy, poisonous wit you'll ever read. 

                  What can we say......we love us some Joe. 4 stars (****).

              

 

'THE GIRL IN CELL 49B'....THE DEFINITION OF 'PAGE TURNER'

 The Girl In Cell 49B by Dorian Box (2021)     We bumped the film we planned to post about today because we couldn't wait to tell you about this book.....

              We lost count of how many "page turning' thrillers we've read that left us wading through pages and pages of repetitive internal monologues and pointless descriptions of nothing that mattered to the plot.

               Now, at last, here's a page-turner and really made us tear through the pages and finish the book in one sitting. 

                 In other words, a thriller that really thrills.....a breathless ride that keeps you up all night, 'cause you just can't stop reading until you know what happens next.

                  We came across this one only a week or so ago and the description made us dive into it, even though we hadn't yet read the book that it's a follow-up to, "The Hiding Girl".  We went ahead anyway, since "The Girl In Cell 49B" works perfectly fine as a stand-alone story. 

                 But we promise you as soon as you finish this, you'll want to go out and immediately buy a copy of the first book.....which is what we did. 

                  Who could resist the harrowing adventures of teenager Emily Calby, who at age 16 has already endured enough horror, tragedy, violence and cruelty to last several lifetimes.

                  At age 12, she became the sole survivor of a murderous home invasion that ended with the slaughter of her mother and little sister. Forced to go on the run and live 'off the grid' Emily found a shady mentor-protector who's trained her to fiercely defend herself.

                   So you know already she's an indomitable force to be reckoned with......and no one to try to victimize. Not that doesn't stop a world of troubles from catching up with her.

                  After she's forced to kill a pedophile rapist in self-defense, Emily's arrested for first degree murder and sent to juvenile prison to await trial.

                  The forces arrayed against her seem insurmountable. Emily struggles to cope and survive with the everyday brutal life in lockup while using the prison's little law library to help her prepare a defense.  And she'll need a good one.......since the hateful, vindictive prosecutor in not above engaging in unlawful misconduct to assure a conviction. 

                  Author Dorian Box kept us pinned to the pages for hours on end......the book's pacing in super swift and Emily Calby is a character who breaks you heart and makes you want to sit up and cheer for her very step of the way. 

                  Reading about her suspenseful navigation through all the dangers that afflict her took us into the wee hours of the morning.......and we can't even remember the last book we read that exerted that kind of grip on us.  This damn book moves.

                   We could no on and on like this, but let's wrap it up and make it plain and simple. For one of the fastest thrill rides you'll read all year, you NEED to get this book. A most definite 5 star (*****) FIND OF FINDS.  Grab it soon.

                   

'WE BEGIN AT THE END'.....BQ'S BEST READ SO FAR THIS YEAR

 We Begin At The End by Chris Whitaker (2021)   Let's cut to the chase and put the rating right up front......this book's a no-holds-barred bona fide 5 star (*****) FIND OF FINDS.

               Not only the best book we've read this year.......maybe the best book we've read in the last 10 years.

                This author blew us away from page 1. Every damn page was superbly engineered to break our heart in one way or another. And it only got even more powerful, compelling and heart rending as it went along. 

                  Once we started reading, we hated having to tear ourselves away for such unimportant, trivial things like meals and sleep. Yes, it's that kind of book. 

                  And this book was fairly merciless in beating us up emotionally while we tried to guess at the solutions to its  many mysteries ,its twists and its sudden gut-wrenching turns of  the cruelest of fates.  Yes, it's the kind of book that plays you like a damn piano. 

                  As we raced to the final chapters, the story unleashed its most overpowering twists and reveals, leaving us officially both devastated and hopeful at the same time. Yes, it's the kind of book whose ending hammers you into the ground. 

                   And yet we felt sorry enough that it ended.....we wanted to go back and start it all over again

                   You'll notice by now, we've avoided discussing the plot, the characters, the synopsis. And we're not going to. There's a million other places you can read all that, if you must. 

                   We're only asking that you pay attention to everything we just posted about this book. That ought to give you the idea that we think it's working reading. Like this very minute. Like right now. Like get yourself down to a book store or put it on your Kindle or snag a copy at your library.

                     Immediately.  

                    If you must require a breakdown, then we'll say this much only - it's about a small California coastal town populated by damaged souls with no end of dark secrets. that stretch back decades.,,,and come back with a vengeance to change their present and future lives. That's all you'll get from us.......you should be reading it right now. 

                     Since we started this review with our rating, to make extra certain that everyone gets the point, we'll also finish with the rating.  5 stars (*****), one of the truest FIND OF FINDS we've ever come across. 

                      Put "We Begin At The End" at the very top of your TBR list. Bump everything else down a notch......

'THE OTHER EMILY'.....SILENCE OF THE 'VERTIGO' GONE GIRL

 The Other Emily by Dean Koontz (2021)    We know this author commands a fan base of millions of avid readers, who snap up every thriller he pumps out......

               And we ourselves enjoyed the hell out of his 5 book 'Jane Hawk' series.....(some of them more than others)

               Sorry......but we're not on board with this one. Mostly, it alternated between boring and annoying,

                 The premise, though, sucks you in with a vengeance.

              How could we resist?  The book's opening chapters combine the creepy horror of "Silence Of The Lambs" with the tantalizing 'Vertigo' trope of a lost love returned from the dead.......and then combines those two captivating ideas with.....

              Ooops.   If we opine about the third trope Koontz throws into the mix, we'll blow the big twists of the book's final chapters.  

             So let's go back to the beginning where best-selling novelist David Thorne mournfully pines for his presumed dead, beautiful fiance Emily, who mysteriously disappeared ten years ago. 

              Thorne believes she's among the victims of the now incarcerated, abominable serial killer Ronnie Jessup, who abducted, tortured and mummified young girls in his basement lair. 

              Seeking some measure of peace and closure, Thorne's engaged in Clarice Starling-Hannibal Lector type conversations with the vile Jessup, hoping he'll offer Thorne confirmation of Emily's death.

               And if that isn't torment enough for him,  the bedeviled writer meets a ravishing, woman who's the mirror image twin of Emily....right down to the telltale birthmark just below her navel.

                 How can this be, David wonders......this stunner Maddison, a virtual clone-like duplicate of his long lost beloved Emily, intrigues and mystifies him with her enigmatic entry into his life and her maddening claims that she's a.....(hold your breath).... professional assassin.  

               Say what now?

                Does that strange admission of hers qualify as sarcastic romantic byplay or the real deal?  And what about this other strange guy in Maddison's past, who's been spotted strolling around years after he supposedly dropped dead of a heart attack in the middle of a supermarket?

                 (Time to cue the Bernard Herrmann score for 'Vertigo'?  Or maybe some typically eerie 'Spellbound'  "wooooo-wooooo" wailing from a Theremin?)

                Okay, that's enough plot talk. Let's get down to it.....

                The book's a tedious slog, overwritten with endless, verbose internal monologues, the kind of blah-blah-blah overwriting that tempts readers to either skip or skim their way through it until they can get the good, important stuff.

                By a third of the way into the book, Koontz drops enough obvious clues so you can figure out where he's going with this story.  Thorne, his less than sympathetic protagonist, is so consumed with guilt about failing to save Emily and so besotted with Maddison, Emily's impossibly dazzling doppelganger, that he doesn't seem to catch on until the final chapters.

                 Even worse, Koontz and his hero go completely off the rails in the book's final third, which wastes interminable chapters taking place in the serial killer's old house and upends Thorne's character in ridiculous ways.

                 The final few chapters, where Koontz finally lays out all the answers and reveals, are so rushed, far fetched and overwrought, they render the story idiotic, full of holes and beyond belief on multiple levels. 

                 We've handed out any number of high ratings to Dean Koontz books in the past, but not this one......

                 It's a 1 star (*) waste of time. 

              

'NEWS OF THE WORLD' (BOOK & FILM)......A NEW WESTERN CLASSIC

               It's rare for us to enjoy a back-to-back experience of reading a wonderful book and then immediately viewing an equally wonderful film that somehow manages to improve on its source material. 

                That neatly describes our experience with this book and the recent film adapted from it. 

 News Of The World by Paulette Jiles (2016)  evokes the brutal, dangerous landscapes of post Civil War Texas. Captain Jefferson Kyle Kidd, a weary Confederate veteran of blood soaked battles, travels this turbulent territory making a sparse living by reading newspaper articles to assembled crowds.......(cost of admission: one dime).

                  Against his own better judgement, he takes on a herculean 400 mile quest - transporting a 10 year old girl rescued from Kiowa captivity back to an aunt and uncle, her only surviving relatives. 

                  The child, Johanna, is a now a wild, broken lost soul, speaking no English and an outcast in both white and Native American cultures.  Her journey with Captain Kidd to find a home for herself, fraught with dangers and leavened with human connection, makes this odyssey of the two unlikely travelling companions thrilling, perceptive and ultimately heartrending.

                 Steeped in Texas lore and evocative of the era, we can't recommend this book highly enough.  We practically read it in one sitting and it left us shaken and riveted from beginning to end. As a reading experience, it's a 5 star (*****) FIND OF FINDS.

                  As soon we finished this book, we jumped right into......

News Of The World (2020)    We at first worried upon hearing that the film version would fall into the hands of director Paul Greengrass........whose shaky-cam cinematics aggravate us.

                  Greengrass's over-reliance on hand held camerawork ("The Green Zone", the Bourne series) reduced, we thought, much of his films to unwatchable visual gibberish........the kind of junky filmmaking we'd hate to see inflicted on such a stark, primal book like "News Of The World".

                  To our everlasting relief, Greengrass discarded his signature style and with the gifted help of cinematographer Dariusz Wolski, creates a visually stunning film that evokes classic westerns like John Ford's "The Searchers" (which the book somewhat resembles in structure and storyline along with "True Grit").

                The simple, beautiful visuals leave Greengrass to concentrate on what's most important to tell this story.....on the two actors who take the lead roles of Captain Kidd and Johanna.

                 Tom Hanks, that national acting treasure who's managed to combine the steely reserve of Henry Fonda with the warm all-American empathy of James Stewart, embodies the Captain like no other actor could.  His performance here functions as close to a summing up of his all his previous Americana roles in "Sully", "Captain Phillips", "Saving Private Ryan" and "A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood".

                  The revelation here is 12 year old Helena Zengel as Johanna. In what must be one of the most demanding roles ever given to a child actress, she astounds in every scene she's in, whether making you laugh or breaking your heart.  All her scenes with Hanks are gems and you can't take your eyes off either of them. 

                  What surprised and impressed us were all the ways that Greengrass, co-scripting the film with Luke Davies, expanded, embellished and even improved upon book, fleshing out its story with additional emotional power. 

                   We couldn't have asked for a better film version of "News Of The World" and just like the book, it's a 5 star (*****) FIND OF FINDS.   BQ says dive into the book first, then by all means don't miss the movie.

'BEHIND HER EYES' (BOOK & SERIES)......UNRELIABLE NARRATORS IN THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT

         

             We're going to spend as little time as we can on this book and the Netflix series adapted  from it. 

             We've already regretted the hours we wasted reading it and then watching the show. 

             To put it simply, it's a con job by the publisher, designed to put one over on unsuspecting readers who swallow the false claim that the book is a....."suspenseful psychological thriller".

               It's absolutely none of those things.......and neither is the 6 episode limited series based on it. 

               We don't mind when we're duped and hoodwinked by outrageous twists of plot in thrillers.......after all, it's the primary reason that people read and love them. 

               What's not okay with us:    hyping the book  as a mystery thriller when it turns out it falls into an entirely different genre altogether.  Memo to publisher of "Behind Her Eyes"......you suck.

               Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough (2018)  does indeed start out as a dread-laden, nothing-good-will-come-from-this romantic quartet. 

                The four players:  Louise, a medical secretary, David, a psychiatrist who much to Louise's surprise after a drunken kiss with him, is her new boss, Adele, David's ethereal, troubled wife, and in flashbacks, Rob, a young Sottish drug addict who bonded with Adele while in rehab.....and who has mysteriously disappeared. 

                Somebody's playing somebody like a piano......and yes, there's more than few deaths involved, along with a twisted, sardonic finale. 

                The problem is how the book chooses to get there. We'll only say that Pinborough shifts the story into a genre that you may find utterly ridiculous, annoying and stupidly far-fetched even if you're willing to accept it on its own terms. 

                  We weren't.

               Behind Her Eyes the Netflix Series slowly unfolds as a dutifully faithful adaptation of the book, even using much of its dialogue.

                The series even goes so far as to duplicate the book's slow pacing, which gives you plenty of time to roll your eyes over the foolish choices made by the characters. 

                 And the widely discussed WTF twists are replicated here as well, in all their oh-you-gotta-be-shiitin'-me' glory. 

                 We've now officially wasted more time than we ever wanted to on either of these entities. For both the book and the series, Zero stars (0)  

                 BQ recommends giving both a wide pass.

'BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARED'.......A THRILLER DONE RIGHT, IN THE HANDS OF A MASTER

 Before She Disappeared by Lisa Gardner (2021)    This was the third of three thrillers we read in rapid fire succession......(the other problematic two being "Perfect Guests" and "People Like Her"....)

              Unlike the other two books, overwritten and indifferently paced, we knew a real master of suspenseful twists, Lisa Gardner would not let us down. 

               And she didn't, starting with an unforgettable sleuth. Frankie Elkin's a damaged soul struggling with alcoholism and a gut wrenching past tragedy that's left her with an enormous burden of guilt.

                She's chosen a dangerous, lonely and sad quest to pursue, travelling around the country as a purely amateur detective tracking down missing persons.  Even though police resent her and stricken families question her purpose, she's dogged and relentless in bringing closure, one way or the other to grieving loved ones of those who've disappeared. 

                Her new case, that of a missing teen Haitian girl, plunges her into the rough Boston neighborhood of Mattapan, where she's a very unwanted fish out of water.......not that even slows her down for a minute.

               You'll find not only twists and turns here to make turn the pages faster, but a sharp perceptive commentary on virtually every torment in the headlines......the plight of immigrants,, the scourges of human trafficking and gang warfare and destruction of families living in grinding poverty.

                And you'll fear for Frankie Elkin more than she does for herself.

                Thriller fans, put this one right at the top of your list. 4 stars (****).

               

'GIRL A'.....SIBLING SURVIVORS OF A MONSTROUS CHILDHOOD....

Girl A by Abagail Dean (2021)    Most important warning we can impart to anyone about this book......pay no attention whatsoever to any reviews (from professional critics or avid readers) that categorize "Girl A" as a thriller........

                  No, it's not one of those books that tries to straddle the borderline between serious literary fiction and a thrills 'n chills suspense-mystery. 

                   It's been inaccurately labeled that way because in fact it does deal with a despicable, horrendous crime -  the brutal childhood abuse and enslavement of six brothers and sisters by their religious fanatic father and their mother, compliant in the madness and torture.

                 The oldest of the children, Lex and Ethan manage to escape and after their other siblings are rescued and their 'house of horrors' exposed to the world,  the children are placed in separate foster homes.  Some thrive.....some merely survive, the psychological scars too deep and permanent. 

                  As now grown adults, each of them has achieved different measures of success and failure in coping with the terrible memories of their past that torment them.  After their mother dies in prison,  Lex is tasked with getting her brothers and sisters to approve a plan to turn that crumbling childhood home of suffering and misery into a community center. 

                  Lex's quest to make that happen becomes a journey of both heartbreak and glimmers of hope, along with flashbacks that chronicle their father's descent into unspeakable cruelty that leads to the destruction of the family.  

                  It's gut wrenching stuff all the way through and some readers may find it hard to take in.

                 True enough, the book does pull off a thriller-worthy twist near the end, but it's not so much a twist as it is an almost inevitable result of the terrible damage done to Lex and her brothers and sisters.

                  Both overwhelmingly sad and compelling as any suspense tale, "Girl A" will stay in memory as a 4 star (****) book and one of the best reads of the year.

                  

'THE PERFECT GUESTS'.....IF 'CLUE' WERE A GOTHIC THRILLER INSTEAD OF A BOARD GAME.......

The Perfect Guests by Emma Rous (2021)    Like all fans of mystery-thriller novels, we love it when the authors astound and surprise us with multiple twists and a plot built like an impossibly intricate machine armed with a steel trip waiting to snap shut on us at the climax.......

             We only ask that the author doesn't wander around aimlessly lost in repetitive description and excess verbiage before they spring the trap......

             Which is, unfortunately, what Emma Rous tends to do as she slowly and surely guides two parallel storylines, 31 years apart, toward an inevitable intersection and collision. 

              Of the two side by side timelines on display here, we much prefer the 1988 story, which maintains a steady and creepy gothic vibe. 

              In that one, we have a worthy young heroine in Beth, a teen orphan parked by her indifferent aunt in Raven Hall, a grand sprawling English estate. The enormously wealthy and a bit strange couple in residence Markus and Leonora, have a teen daughter Nina, for whom Beth is expected to serve as a live-in friend, with possible tenure in the job. 

               Did we say a bit strange?   When Nina suddenly takes ill on the eve of her powerful grandfather's visit, Markus and Leonora convince Beth to masquerade as their daughter for the grandpop, who's never yet to lay eyes on Nina. Hmm......and the plot thickens further.

               Fast forwarding to 2019, we're back at a now vacant Raven Hall, in which the new mysterious owners are staging a "Clue"-like weekend murder mystery game, complete with suspects, motives and clues. A group of seemingly random folk have been invited and assembled as the game players, including Sadie, a struggling young actress with bills to pay.,

              By now you've already guessed that these two decades apart stories hold multiple secrets and connections to each other......

               And so they do.........with so many twists piled up at the end, the whole thing may strike you as overwrought, far fetched........and kind of silly in a soap opera-ish way.  

                Depending on how this strikes you, you'll either be impressed and amused by all the final revelations.....or else muttering under your breath, "oh, gimme a break, will ya?" 

               Our main problems with it came from the book's  medium-speed pace and that the modern day whodunit  reality show in the mansion is nowhere near as interesting as the creepy goings-on that transpire in the 1988 chapters. 

                We had the same reaction to this as we did to another recent thriller, "People Like Her" (check out our 2/23/21    post)......in that you might be better off waiting for Netflix to turn it into an 8 episode series......as least it'll move faster. 2 stars (**)