SWORDS, FRIGGIN' LASER BEAMS, A BEAUTY AND A BEAST......WE EMBRACE THE KRAZY OF 'KRULL'

Krull (1983)   In a sane world, we should pile on the sarcastic abuse to this movie.......

                        'Krull' is such a clunky, clumsy slapped together thing, so evocative of its era, when studios scrambled to assemble mega-budget 'Star Wars' knockoffs..........

                         It's a true Frankenstein's Monster, assembled from chunks of 'Star Wars' and the sword-and-sorcery films like 'Conan The Barbarian' that were just taking off into theaters......

                         So you've got medieval guys wielding swords against alien invaders who shoot friggin' laser beams out their lances.........

                          In a sane world,as we said,  this movie begs for remorseless ridicule.......

                           But after the Helsinki Summit, it looks like a sane world ain't happenin' any time soon........and damned if it didn't seem like "Krull" achieved a state of innocence while we watched it stumble and lumber through all its blatant homages to the films it imitates......

                          And seriously, how can you hate a movie that introduced us to a young Liam Neeson and a young Robbie Coltrane?

                          And how can you hate a movie so ambitiously scored by a young James Horner, laying on the heavenly choirs and blaring trumpets through the entire two hours........it's the best 'Lord Of The Rings' music ever written for a movie that isn't 'Lord Of The Rings'.....

                           Even more surprising, for a few minutes the story comes alive with a heartbreaking little subplot all its own.......the doomed, past romance between an aging sage (Freddie Jones) and a bitter crone (Francesca Annis) who sits in a vast web guarded by cut-glass stop-motion spider.  (Jones and Annis, bless 'em, throw themselves into this like a geriatric Romeo and Juliet....)

                        But after that, it's back to the borrowed stuff, including our virginal heroine menaced by a giant Halloween shop monster photographed through warped lenses.........more sophisticated than his minions, Big Beast Guy's friggin' laser beams come flying out of his mouth........

                         Yet we can't bring ourselves to dislike "Krull"...... director Peter Yates ("Bullit") gives a classy British reserve to the whole thing..........and even when the movie seems like nothing more than a marketing ploy to sell comic books, video games and board games, it maintains an assured dignity.........(as if it were a real movie and not a collections of tropes ripped off from 'Conan' and 'Star Wars')

                         So for reminding us of more simple, innocent hot summer nights, we'll hearby dub the worthy heroes and rogues of "Krull" with 3 stars (***)........which gave the BQ a pleasant escape from a world gone mad......