'The Atlantic' journalist gets accidentally invited to a classified, top secret war plans group chat.......explained Secretary Of Indefensible Defense Pete Hegseth, "No classified information was shared, other than attack days and times......and besides, I thought that extra guy on the chat was on there was there to take my drink order...."
Trump and National Security Minions refuse to own up to their serious gaffe, preferring Trump's usual plan to deny, deflect and double-down......"They're the very best people" claimed Trump, "in fact Little Marco came up with great idea of keeping the Nuclear Attack Codes written in Sharpie on my palms...."
In addition to these new phones, Trump also issues etch-a-sketch pads for to all security personnel for issuing military strike orders to fighter pilots.......with a stern warning to pilots to remember to shake the pads clear after receiving their targets....
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Trump rages about what he considers an unflattering portrait of himself......"It's such an insult to me and all of America. This terrible disgusting portrait makes me look like a fat, angry, stupid, racist, misogynist, bullying narcissist who doesn't have a clue about what he's doing.....especially when everyone around me has mentioned how much I look like Timothee Chalamet...."
On a daily basis, Trump proves that he will tirelessly show the U.S. and the world that every worst fear they believed about a second Trump Presidency is coming true in real time......while thousands of cemeteries receive instructions from 2024 Trump voters to amend their gravestones to read, "This isn't what I voted for...."
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