In the midst of preparing a huge pile of book reviews, so we'll be quick with the overview.....
Conan O'Brian......did just fine, didn't embarrass himself, came out of it okay. Call us weird and crazy but we even loved the Dune Sandworms.....maybe Lindsay Graham and Marco Rubio can audition to play them in 'Dune 3'
The 'Wicked Girls'.....we get it, you're both tiny with lungs more powerful than Hurricane Katrina. Now please go away until pop culture shoves you in our faces all November when 'Wickeder' or whatever it's called is released. And Cynthia, ditch the nose ring already and the Fu Manchu nails....enough, we're beggin' ya...
Zoe Saldana.......effin' drama queen who's already exhausted this act on other awards show. Get a tissue for your issue, grow up and learn to accept an award with grace.
In Memoriam.....the one and only thing you can always depend on. That it will be.....1. Poorly staged. (The nominees names and photos shown from 10 miles away, like an eye test)....and 2. Stupid and offensive in their exclusions. Thanks, Oscars, you never disappoint when it comes to screwing this up
The Emelia Perez composers......breaking news for them. Almost nobody liked their forgettable tunes. And nobody sure as hell wanted them sung while you're accepting an award. Shut. The. Hell. Up. And. Get. Off. The. Stage.
James Bond Medley...... not bad, giving us all a chance to let out a nostalgic sigh before Amazon floods the market of Bond Content....(Bondent?)
Adrian Brody.....what an achievement. He made the entire world fervently wish they never have to listen to him or ever lay eyes on him again. Oscar's mightiest asshole in full bloom. Go away. Next time, don't throw your gum away....just choke to death on it. And learn how to act like an adult....it's bad enough the country's being run by a toddler.....
The 'Emelia Perez' tran actress....now that you temporarily came out of the woodwork, crawl back in and never be heard from again. Thank you.
Demi Moore.....You had your shot at being more than a popcorn actress....millions of high school students failed English when they used your version of 'The Scarlet Letter' for a book report. The only scarlet letter they received was an F. That's Hollywood kid,.....Mikey's cuter and younger than you so you should've known how this would go down.......
Hulu.....oh boy, are we ever glad we ditched your sorry-ass company a couple of months ago. Our deepest sympathies to current subscribers, who are probably signing up with Comcast as we write this. Burn in hell, Disney.
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