'THE AVENGERS' (1998)......STEED AND MRS. PEEL DEFEATED BY DEADLY ENEMIES....THE FILMMAKERS AND WARNER BROTHERS.

 

The Avengers (1998)   File this one under Most Wasted Opportunity of all the 1990's big budget special effects action-adventures.

          How sad. How tragic. A golden chance to start a big screen franchise out of one of British TV's most beloved exports.  Who wouldn't salivate to smile and thrill to the exploits of ultra dapper secret agent John Steed and his stunning partner, the Renaissance goddess, Mrs. Emma Peel?

          But who could've predicted the Warner Brothers suits would meddle and tinker with the film, essentially taking a massive steaming dump on it, carving it up into 89 minutes of bizarre gibberish.

          In fairness, the fault wasn't entirely the studio's. Even without Warner's incessant chainsawing, the direction, script and lead performances contained fundamental flaws. 

          The TV show, brilliantly acted by Patrick Macnee and Dame Diana Rigg, mixed the patented tongue-in-cheek of the Bond films with its own Alice In Wonderland craziness. Steed and Mrs. Peel would usually face off against a variety of homegrown British eccentrics....Mad Hatter tea party Blofelds bent on world domination. 

           Don MacPherson's screenplay for the film at least had the right idea in duplicating that element of the series. In a master stroke of casting, the film's whimsical supervillain was played by Sean Connery. And in what's left of the footage, Connery clearly had a fine time enacting prestigious madman Sir August de Wynter, who threatens the world by manipulating the weather. 

            But in the casting and portrayals of Ralph Fiennes and Uman Thurman as Steed and Mrs. Peel, the film fell apart, coming off as too arch, too remote, too studied. To put it mildly, they weren't much fun to watch, which was the whole point of the original TV duo. 

           Macnee and Rigg struck sparks together and managed to humanize their super heroics. You could tell they enjoyed each other's company and found ways to wink at the audience without ever breaking character.

           We don't know whose idea this was (MacPherson's or director Jeremiah S. Chechnik) but turning Steed and Mrs. Peel into stick figure caricatures from a Noel Coward play proved ruinous.  The sight of Fiennes and Thurman spitting out carefully composed pseudo witticisms at each other turns annoying after about 20 seconds. They make for a cold chilly pair impossible to warm up to. And audiences sure as hell couldn't root for them. 

           It's entirely possible that if a more cohesive, fuller version of the film had seen the light of day, it might (and that's a risky might we're using) have worked better for an audience. 

           But when Warner Brothers sliced and diced the footage into what amounts as a highlights reel (or a really long trailer). the film was doomed, dead on arrival. 

           Some bits and pieces of it are fun to watch.  (Fans of the TV show will chuckle at Patrick Macnee's now-you-see-him-now-you-don't cameo, Connery and his minions dressed as Teddy Bears, and Fiennes and Thurman dodging an army of literal drones - remote controlled robot bees.)

           We'll leave to you cherished BQ visitors to decide if it's worth the effort. 

           For us, 1 & 1/2 stars (* 1/2). Not a film we're likely to re-watch ever again.