In snow and ice stricken Iowa, a fraction of Trumpanzees manage to tramp through the snow to caucus for their dear leader, while most prefer to sit home watching NFL playoffs......prompting Trump to promise to take his revenge on every player involved in each game.....("I will open a full investigation in the NFL and replace all football with wrestling, monster truck shows and roller derby..."
Judge in E.Jean Carrol's second defamation trial against Trump threatens to throw him out for his behavior....to which Trump replies, "I'd love it", then the Judge answers "I know, because you can't control yourself".....In a private conference, Trump's attorneys calm the furious judge, explaining they're brought in specially trained Daycare workers with toys, snacks and XXL sized diapers to keep Trump silent if he attends any more court sessions.....
Nikki Haley oh so gently criticizes Trump for his perpetual ongoing chaos, but still promises to pardon him.....even as he mocks her Indian birth name.....later whispering to reporters, "Listen, once tubby lets me be Vice President, all I have to do is wait for a few more KFC buckets and Quarter Pounders to finish him off....
MAGA Republicans stall on desperately needed aid to Ukraine......a few of them express confusion about the gold medallions sent to them directly by Vladimir Putin....until the google the English translation of the engraving on the medal....Russian for "Useful Idiot"
Millions of American voters suffer massive bouts of depression at the idea of another Trump Vs. Biden Presidential race.....in anticipation of election night, the Orville Redenbacher company will introduce a new flavor.... butter popcorn laced with Xanax, expecting sales to soar.....
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