Thursday, January 25, 2024

'TERROR BENEATH THE SEA'.....THEY GOT SOME TROUBLES, UNDER THE BUBBLES, TAKE IT FROM ME.....


 Terror Beneath The Sea (1966)  It pains and depresses BQ to report that this long forgotten scrap of Japan-a-madness doesn't deliver anywhere near the unintentionally hilarious, mountain-of-cheese you'd expect from it. 

         True, you may smirk and snort out a few bursts of derisive chuckles, but even if you went full Mystery Science Theater 3000 on this film while watching it, you'd struggle extracting real campy yocks from the experience.

         Consider it a pre-cursor to the now legendary "The Green Slime" in that its cast is heavily populated with Caucasian actors....but let's also point out we're showing extraordinary kindness, gentility and restraint referring to them as 'actors'.

        Therein lies in whatever entertainment value you can yank out of this  film......the bizarre spectacle of watching this cast rant, rave and bulge their eyes out as if they're performing in Children's Theater.  They make the cast of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look like the Royal Shakespeare Company.

         Smack in the middles of this group, we kid you not is the iconic Martial Arts God Shin'ichi Chiba....yes, Quentin Tarantino's beloved own Sonny Chiba, the terminator of countless fools who dared to take him on the "Streetfighter" movies......

        But don't expect any blood drenched Sonny-fying carnage here. He's more of a standard upright hero  and and what few tussles he gets into never amount to much. 

         Oh yes, we almost forgot the plot, but then again so will you 15 seconds after the movie's over...

         Two reporters (Chiba, Peggy Neal) are covering the U.S. Navy's demonstration of their new sooper-dooper-dooper guided torpedoes. Then things go awry in a hurry when they run afoul of an hi-tech, undersea kingdom ruled by mad, mad scientist Dr. Moore (Eric Nielson).

        The loony Dr. M's created his own aquatic army by transforming his minions into scaly FishGuys programmed to do whatever Doc wants, even pound on each other, just to prove how much he controls their every move.  Even with no pupils or irises, the FishGuys somehow still appear cross eyed and during the lame, arthritic fight scenes, you can spot their Halloween Shop costumes coming apart.at the seems.

         The true laugh getter here is the very blonde Miss Congeniality Peggy Neal, who went to college in Japan and would sporadically pop up in a few other of the country's sci-fi cheeseballs ("The X From Outer Space" and "Latitude Zero".

         We've no idea what courses Peggy took while studying in Japan, but we're 100 per cent certain that acting wasn't one of them. Just as well, since her Elementary School Pageant performance provides the best moments in the film........particularly her rampant hysterics, after she survives an aborted attempt by Dr.Mad-as-a-March-Hare to turn her into a FishGirl. Poor Peg doesn't quite end up in full scaly regalia, but moans in hysterics at the gobs of what looks like KY Jelly stuck on her cheeks from the procedure......

        As mentioned at the top of this post, there's very little guilty pleasure fun to be found here. If you must view it (possibly as a Japanese sci-fi movie completist), stock up on beer, your vodka of choice and massive buckets of butter popcorn. 1 & 1/2 stars....(*1/2)

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