The Old Dark House (1963) If we think about the possibilities of what this film could have been, our imagination runs wild......
Just imagine this convergence...... Hollywood.horror shlockmeister and master of cheesy gimmicks William Castle crossing the pond to make a movie for Hammer, the gold standard bearer of cheap but richly appointed British horror. The Titans unite! The weirdest marriage made in movie heaven!
Alas....alas.....
The result was a mild, less than lukewarm comedy horror outing that depended heavily on its wonderful British supporting cast.....and we're talking real iconic treasures here....Robert Morley, Peter Bull, Joyce Grenfell, Fenella Fielding, Janette Scott and Mervyn Johns.
In addition to this stellar, quirky character line-up, film also worked from the premise that American TV comedian Tom Poston's persona (a bland to the max timid little nebbish) would provoke big laughs when thrown up against these powerhouse Brits at their most lovably eccentric.
Hmmm.....not quite. Pleasant, maybe. A few random chuckles here and there. But nothing inspired, nothing scary and nothing worth laughing out loud about If anything, in its dutiful, connect-the-dots tropes of a scaredy-cat guy stuck in a creepy house, it resembles those Don Knotts family comedies pumped out by Universal Studios.....except with far more dead bodies.
I won't bother with the plot, apparently strip-mined from an old J.B.Priestley novel and a 1932.movie. This remake hurls Poston in the midst of the very strange Femm clan, all living in the titular house and living off the interest of a family inheritance. That is until they start getting bumped off one by one, presumably by a fellow family member who wants the loot all for their own. And since Poston's revealed as a possible long lost relative, he joins the suspect list as well......
Sadly, director William Castle supplies none of his carnival barker gimmicks to go along with the proceedings......so no skeletons flying out at you, no joy buzzers under the seats and special glasses required to view any potential ghosts who might show up. (Spoiler alert.....none do.)
And Hammer fans shouldn't look for the dripping atmosphere and beautifully photographed art direction of their Christopher Lee-Peter Cushing outings. You'll just have to satisfy yourselves with the pleasure of that marvelous cast.....Morley and Bull at their huffy, imperious best and Grenfell doing her usual dotty-old-lady in a world of her own.....
You will see, as the film's one bonus treat, the actual hand and artistry of cartoonist Charles Addams himself in the opening credits. A great way to start the movie, given that the oddball family on display behaves like distant British cousins of Morticia, Gomez, Wednesday and Uncle Fester.
......but nowhere near as funny and beloved as the Addams family. Though fans of both William Castle and Hammer will want to check out this bizarre hybrid at least once....2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2)
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