Doctor, You've Got To Be Kidding (1967) Once again, we hit paydirt, unearthing exactly the kind of movie that led us to start this blog in the first place.....
That would explain why we sub-titled this post with our own fractured lyrics to the "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee" song from "Grease".....(please feel free to sing it out loud.....)
We dearly love, love, love stumbling upon the oddest of oddball movies that came out of the 1960's and 1970's.......films that could only come to exist within the chaotic years when traditional Hollywood studios slowly crumbled to dust as audiences and the culture went through monumental, revolutionary changes..
This upending of values and norms threw a monkey wrench into the usual glossy studio product, especially that stalwart reliable staple - the sexless sex comedy.
Therefore, MGM rolled out this bizarre bon-bon, which kicks off with beloved cutie-pie Sandra Dee rushed to a hospital......ready to pop out a baby and to the stunned reactions of doctors and nurses....unwed.
Say what now????
The story quickly flashes back to how we got to 'From Here To Maternity'......with Dee and her ambitious would-be stage mom (Celeste Holm) trying to launch Dee's singing career.
Now here's what's really strange.......the movie makes it pretty damn clear that Dee, as adorable as she is, is only only moderately, passable as a singer.......and we're never entirely sure whether Dee or Holmes's characters have ever faced up to that cold, hard truth...... (To put it in today's terms, she wouldn't make it past the first round of 'American Idol' auditions.)
On the romance front, Dee finds herself aggressively adored and pursued by three young guys.....the literal boy next door turned lothario (Bill Bixby) a earnest struggling actor (Dwayne Hickman) and a freewheeling, heavy drinking musician (Dick Kallman) helping her rehearse her act..
While this trio of panting, slapstick suitors take turns at attempted but thwarted ravishments of Dee, she lands a secretary job with a high powered, egotistical exec (George Hamilton.) But then, in a stunning development for 60's Hollywood product, Hamilton turns out to be the one who rings Dee's bell.......and knocks her up.....(but tastefully off screen)
But wait! Hamilton reveals himself as a smug, entitled patriarchal douchebag, telling Dee she can now drop her mediocre singing dreams to fulfill her true destiny as his doting trophy wife. They break up, but run into each other again at the hospital where the pregger Dee's just been wheeled in to deliver. Hamilton himself gets rolled in to the same hospital, having. been hit by five cars while crossing the street.......no we did not make any of this up......
We can't go on, other than to point out the abrupt, very rushed finale to this panting, unfunny farce , accomplished with frozen still frames of the actors......it's as if the director and writer gave up on trying to use dialogue and acting to make any of this idiocy plausible.
We don't blame them.
While we ourselves live to dig up misbegotten movies like this, we wouldn't dare recommend it anyone as a casual viewing experience.......if you're not a dedicated film archivist like BQ, you'd groan through this a 1 star (*) chore to sit through.
But those of you who hold a special place in your hearts for a 60's time capsule artifact like "Doctor, You've Got To Be Kidding".....you got to see it at least once....no kidding.
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