As much as we hate to steal the spotlight from Liz Cheney, one of our secret sources, who lists her e-mail as "Jane Blonde" raided Cheney's yet-to-be-released stash ofevidence from the the senator's Jan. 6 committee files......
.....and sent us this damning transcript of a secretly recorded January 6th encounter between ex-President Donald J. Trump and his daughter Ivanka. We present it to you unedited...
TRUMP: Ivanka, come watch TV with your daddy! Look at this, will you! I sent hordes of those idiots down to the Capitol to overthrow the government and make me President For Life.....and son of a bitch they're actually doing it!
IVANKA: Daddy, there's something I must tell you......I just spoke with Mr. Barr....you know him, right? Your Attorney General?\
TRUMP: Don't even mention that traitorous toad! That fat bastard can't even act like a real minion when it counts the most. Sweetie, hurry, you're missing it! Come sit on my lap and watch TV with me, just like we used to.....we'll play 'Squeeze The Cucumber' while you watch your Daddykins become El Supremeo of the New United Kingdom Of Trump! You like the name? Made it up myself......
IVANKA; Daddy, Bill Barr said all your rants about the election being stolen are complete bullshit.
TRUMP: He said WHAT????!!!! So help me God, I'll have the Proud Boys stretch his neck on the gallows right along side Mike Pence!
IVANKA: Oh, Daddy you musn't tell them to hang Mike. It's not going to look good on television.
TRUMP: It's only what he deserves, baby......that miserable little ass-kissing shmuck should've watched some old James Bond movies......then he'd know what happens to SPECTRE minions when they screw up a command from Blofeld,,,,,under the bus and into the Piranha pool!
IVANKA: I think you should know......I agree with Mr. Barr. Anybody with half a brain knows that 'stolen election' stuff is just horseshit you made up off the top your head
TRUMP: Shut your pie hole, you dumb slut. Of course it's horseshit....you know it, I know it, but look at those chimps storming the Capital! They swallowed it like the brain-dead zombies they are.
IVANKA: Daddy, I'm sorry.....Mr. Barr's right.....and I don't think Mike will help you become President For Life.....
TRUMP: Then he swings by his scrawny neck! And you, baby....you don't know what you're saying.....you've checked out. I'll have no choice but to tweet your ass into oblivion......you better remember that there's plenty of room under the bus for you too.
IVANKA: Oh my God.....even your own daughter? Me? The hot one?
TRUMP: You'd better believe it sweet cheeks. Now jump on my lap quick as a bunny before I downgrade you from a 10 to a 5 and 3/4. C'mon, you're missing some awesome shit on the TV....my sweet gorillas, they're beating a cop senseless, maybe even to death. Must see TV!
IVANKA: Allright, but if you manage to pull off this coup and deep six democracy, I want to be a Countess.
TRUMP: Done deal, hottie. And I pick where we go on our dates.....cause once I'm emperor of the U.S., I can do anything.....
( Once Liz Cheney reveals this tape to the world, remember, you heard it hear first.......)
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