Friday, July 3, 2020

CORA THE VIRUS DOES MT. RUSHMORE......AND GOES 'NORTH BY NORTHWEST' ON TRUMP'S ASS!


Bill Paxton in Weird Science (1985)

BQ:
   Cora The Coronavirus.......once again, it's a bottomless misery to see you pop up.......

CORA:   Right back at ya, BeachedBug!  No time to trade insults with you, I've got a big holiday weekend ahead!  It's gonna be killer......literally.

BQ:   Let me guess. You're planning to attend Trump's big 4rth Of July event at Mt. Rushmore.....

CORA:   With bells on, baby!  Trumpy makes all my dreams come true......he's a lethal disease's personal Santa Claus!  Imagine.....thousands of people who refuse to wear masks!  No required social distancing!  My tendrils are gettin' a hard-on just thinkin' about it!

BQ:    Personally, we get nauseous thinking about you and Trump both.......the two of you are like some kind of team sent up from Hell itself......
Baby Trump' balloon gets permit to be present for July 4 in DC ...

CORA:   Why, thank you!  Did you hear the latest from your Dear Leader?  He actually said.......(STIFLING LAUGHTER)......he said that one day, I'm just gonna go away......ya know, like TinkerBell, I'll just go 'poof' and disappear! And even better......he claims I've been......handled!

BQ:  None of that's true, right?  Trump's just talking out of his ass.

CORA:  (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)  When doesn't he talk out of his ass?  That's why I love the guy.......less brains than pond scum and yet he's  your President!  In the middle of Pandemic!  Just between you and me, Beachy, you humans are so screwed.  You all would have been better off if you'd elected a bathroom sponge as President........

BQ:  More and more people are aware of that with each passing day.  I see you've got your tiny American flag and 'Mt.Rushmore' T-shirt.......

CORA:  I ain't gonna miss a moment of it.  Believe me, when I'm done with that crowd of Trumpanzees, a whole bunch of 'em will end up just like those four guys carved into the monument!

BQ:   Uh....you mean famous?

CORA:   No, I meant stone cold dead. Heh, heh, heh........Hitchcock only killed two people on the monument in your favorite movie "North By Northwest"......I'm thinkin' I can outdo that body count by the hundreds!

Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in North by Northwest (1959)

BQ;   Sorry to say, we don't doubt it. As long we're doing the usual Weekend Madness Update here, what's you take on Putin putting out bounties on U.S. soldiers?

CORA:  He could've always asked me.....after all, I kill people free of charge. But I gotta hand it to ole
Putey......he knew he could pull that shit off cause he knew he'd never catch any grief for it from his Brother From Another Mother......your Commander-In-Chief.

BQ:  All too true......and horrifying.

CORA:  Love to chat some more, but I'm catchin' a Greyhound bus to Mt. Rushmore......I don't want to miss a single thing.....or person. 

BQ:  Cora, you do realize that the more of those Trumpanzees you infect and wipe out, the more you'll lessen his vote count on November 3rd.....and his chances of re-election.

CORA:  Hey, don't bum me out, okay? Yeah......I know the party'll be over for me in November when you flesh-pods finally wise up and elect a real President. But I'm a kind of a live-for-the-moment virus.....so I'll party on all summer long and have fun as long you guys keep the Orange Moron in charge! Let's keep America sick at least till  you toss out Trumpy!

BQ:  Want a shot for the road?

CORA:  Don't mind if I do.

BQ:   How 'bout a new drink.....the Trumptini...

CORA:  Cool. What's in it?

BQ:   Gin, Vermouth and Clorox.....here, take a squirt-

CORA:   Arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.............

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