We couldn't think of a better title for this edition of the Madness Wrap-Up than Baby Orange's favorite phrase.......which he deploys when he's got no frickin' clue what'll happen.....or no clue as to what he's doing....
Baby Orange and the Coronovirus......This may end up like the famous ironic ending of H.G. Wells' "War Of The Worlds"..........Like the Martians, Trump seemed invincible to every effort to take hims down.......until tiny germs finally put an end to him........well, we can always live in hope......
What's truly sad.......the MAGA Trumpanzees will be the last people to realize that their tubby orange savior couldn't care less how many of them drop dead.......that the only thing fueling his fear and anger is what the virus is doing to the stock market.........
Mike Pence, the Czar of The Coronovirus.......we'll wait a minute if you need time to catch your breath and stop laughing. So let's get this straight.....the Manager-On-Duty in charge of responding to the spreading international heath crisis is the guy who thinks smoking won't kill you.......His Excellency's first order: no face masks for Gays and Lesbians, cause Mikey figures this virus is a great way thin out their population........(Don't you feel better alaready, knowing Mike's on the job?)
Baby Orange wants Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Sonya Sotomayor to recuse themselves to decisions that involve him.......and also wants them banned from Brett Kavenaugh's all-night Keggers......
and for Equal Time's sake, let's cast a jaundiced eye on the rolling Trainwreck of Democrats....
Memo To Bernie: You're too f***ing old. If you're the nominee, all those kids who orgasm over all the pie-in-the-sky tripe you promised them will finally figure that out......on election night, when they face an eternity of Trump. And then you can move to Cuba, where anyone who hasn't been thrown into a prison torture chamber at least knows how to read......
Memo To Biden: You're too f***ing old. And your mind's going.
Memo to Bloomberg: Sign up for a steel cage match with Elizabeth Warren.....and make it free on TV, you can afford it.
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Memo to Buttigieg: We like you, Mayor Pete, we really do. You're certainly right about the unimaginable horror of a Trump Vs.Bernie election........but the cold, hard, sad fact is......the only way you'd be a viable nominee is to sign up for one of Mike Pence's 'gay-to-straight' conversion summer camps......and then get yourself a female wife. We don't like saying this.......but that's where America still resides in 2020.....
Memo to Warren: You're annoying but at least, unlike Bernie, you've made an effort to figure out how to pay for the pipe dreams you're promising....
Memo to Klobuchar and Steyer: Go home, guys. Game over.
Having issued these memos, we must point out that we'll hold our nose, close our eyes and vote for whichever of these bozos wins the Democratic nomination..........keeping in mind that even a Coronovirus microbe would make a better President than Baby Orange........
Have a great weekend, everyone..........keep your friends close, along with your hand sanitizer........
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