Tuesday, December 31, 2019

'SPECIAL MISSION LADY CHAPLIN'.........I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE......

'Special Mission Lady Chaplin' (1966)     We can think of no better way to ring in the new year than with a loopy-doopy Bond-O-Mania Italian knock-off........

                As Austin Powers so succinctly put it.....'Yeaaah, Baby!!"

                 For all us lovers of trashy EuroSpy movies, this one's an uncut gem......everything you need for one of these Bondapaloozas is in place.....

                  Hotter That Hot Babe:  Top 'o the line......not just any random Euro-Cutie, but no less than Daniela Bianchi, Bond's 'From Russia With Love' main squeeze.  And a what character she has in Lady Chaplin, a combo fashion designer/hitwoman/international shady secret agent.

                    You can't help falling for Daniela, who machine guns guys while dressed up as a nun and an old lady.......who wears her own designer dress that converts to a parachute when tossed out of a plane.......who weaves rocket fuel into her fashion line fabric........(and you don't want to get shot while wearing one of her creations ......or you'll just go to pieces over it.......)

                     Not So Secret Agent Dick Malloy.....played by the amiable American hunk Ken Clark, who travels in a cab numbered "077", his code name.......(well, so much for secrecy).......as he tracks down a sunk submarine and its Polaris missiles, Ken's called upon to regularly beat up, blow up and shoot the hell out of whole armies of black-clad minions.........(and none of this action puts so much as a crease in his tailored suits....)

                     077's personal high point (literally):  when a hook-handed villain tries escaping on a Tram headed up a 180 degree incline, Marvelous Malloy goes chargin' up after him.......on foot! What a guy......

                      Evil Mastermind Kobra Zolta.......you know this guy's an odious bastard cause he stages scorpion fights on his living room table...(so you'd better put your coffee cup down somewhere else..)....it takes a while, but Agent Dick finally catches up with him, delivering a well deserved beatdown.......(on top of that, the creep pays dearly for never going anywhere without his scorpions.....)

                       If you love and adore these fabulously trashy Bond-O-Ramas like we do, make a date with 'Lady Chaplin' at your earliest convenience........(just don't get caught in a gunfight wearing one of her spiffy outfits....)  4 stars (****)

               

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